Disturbing Strava Segment Names

[Dogtrousers]

When I upload rides to Strava, which isn't very often these days, I always peruse the segment names for quirky/odd/amusing ones. There are always a few that raise eyebrows.

 

[Hacienda71]

Talking of poor road surfaces, @Hacienda71 pointed me at a segment near him called Roadbike Heaven or something similar.
I obviously headed out there asap to have a go on my best carbon bike....

I don't think I have ever ridden a worse stretch of tarmac (I use the term tarmac loosely)! It was bone jarringly, bike breakingly bad, but I beat Hacienda's time and got the crown 👑 so well worth the trip

I would like to point out that:
I didn't name it.
I was never the kom
I have never been silly enough to ride it on a carbon bike....

 

[Twilkes]

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous. Got me?

It's from a Captain Beefheart album.

 

[Specialeyes]

Being the classy folk we are in Essex, we’ve got “I Stuck 9 Crème Eggs Up My Bum” and “Matt Hancock Stuck 9 Mini Eggs Up His Bum” nearby. I don’t know if Mr Hancock named the first and someone who knows him named the second! 🤣

 

[roubaixtuesday]

There are a few out near Cumbernauld with F@nnyside in the name in reference to a loch and farm of that name in the area. They came up when I rode out that way last year.

Apropos of which, the top part of the descent of the Cat and Fiddle is named "front bottom goat scream". Always makes me think I'm missing the joke somehow.

 

[ianrauk]

Near Maidstone there's 'Wave to the fatties in Papas'.
Papas being a well known fish and chip shop/cafe

 

[Mike_P]

One today - Bily big bollocks beckwithshaw blast

 

[bikingdad90]

There’s a few near me:
Martins bum hole,
Hope the lights are green (it’s bugger when they aren’t as it’s a nice down hill into the high street),
Keep it above 19mph

 

[HLaB]

I've seen a few segments along the lines of 'Dogging Central '

 

[Twilkes]

I've seen a few segments along the lines of 'Dogging Central '

I assume by the emoticon they turned out not to be?

 

[HLaB]

I assume by the emoticon they turned out not to be?

One of them is rumoured to be but I've never been after dark

 

[Hacienda71]

https://www.strava.com/segments/1438105

Wasn't convinced I wanted to ride up that one.

 

[Venod]

One I ride occasionally.

"I need your clothes your boots and your motorcycle"

 

[Big T]

There’s one near me, on the road outside the local sewage works called “Can you smell sh@t sprint”.

There are some quite clever ones too. “Please Sir, I want some more” is the road past Southwell Workhouse.