Divorce

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LimeBurn

Über Member
Location
Sheffield
Sorry to hear what you're going through. I've been through a divorce, tough time for all concerned. The only one thing I can say is that as long as YOU look forward things WILL get better.
 

BigonaBianchi

Yes I can, Yes I am, Yes I did...Repeat.
I have a lot of experience with a similar scenario, welcome to pm me if you think it might help. Good luck :smile:
 

Cletus Van Damme

Previously known as Cheesney Hawks
I got divorced just over a year ago. I wasted a lot of time getting angry and worked up with the way my ex wife behaved. I also wasted a lot of money with solicitors dragging me into a tit-for-tat slagging match £200 per letter for sweet FA. Hindsight is a great thing, I'd certainly do things differently now and avoid solicitors as much as possible. I guess its difficult when emotions are running so high, but somehow try to chill and rise above it. Feel free to PM me, I'm certainly no expert but can share my learning's.
 
I got divorced just over a year ago. I wasted a lot of time getting angry and worked up with the way my ex wife behaved. I also wasted a lot of money with solicitors dragging me into a tit-for-tat slagging match £200 per letter for sweet FA. Hindsight is a great thing, I'd certainly do things differently now and avoid solicitors as much as possible. I guess its difficult when emotions are running so high, but somehow try to chill and rise above it. Feel free to PM me, I'm certainly no expert but can share my learning's.
Good advice.
 

ScotiaLass

Guru
Location
Middle Earth
I've been in the same position @Broughtonblue
One thing I've learned is that you have to control any feelings you may experience. Yes, easier said than done, but it CAN be done and is the best for all concerned.
I had a year of sheer hell. My mental health was affected, my ex kept two of my four children from me for a year (aged 11 and 5), in which time I seen them once, and they were separated from their two sisters (13 and 4). I walked away from 16 years, with a few personal possessions.
To get my sons back, he made me sign the divorce papers saying I wouldn't touch his pension. He used our kids and he'll never be forgiven for that.

But he has no place in my life, no place in my emotions, and I learned to let go quickly, for my own sanity and for the sake of my children.
I picked myself up. I dated, I took up new hobbies, I went to college....put simply, I learned to love life again!
I have now been married for 8 years.

Look forward, not back. Immerse yourself in new things, find yourself again.
 

SteCenturion

I am your Father
I won't pretend to "understand" @Broughtonblue because me & mine haven't been on best terms for years (we have a girl who is nearly 4).

It must be hard for you, but you are not without hope.

A house on mortgage is a house to pass down to your kids when you die, it can sometimes also be a millstone around a persons neck.

You still have your job & might not be one of the 20% (fingers crossed) & if you have to rent (maybe somewhere smaller or less desirable) so be it, you still have your kids & much to be thankful for, much love to bestow upon them & good times to share with them.

Accentuate the positive stuff & the negative may fade over time.

Best of British to you.
 

Sauce pot

Regular
I went through divorce a couple of years ago. The best advice I was given was to have no contact at all with my ex unless it was for financial purposes the sale of the house or something to do with the kids. It is bloody tough and unless you have gone through it you cannot imagine the pain/hurt anger betrayal humiliation you feel. I found I kept diary of what each day was like nothing to in depth. But I never read the previous days. Then after a few months I felt strong enough to read back and I was amazed at how far I had actually come. You need to sort out finances first and any child support issues. But don't have any contact with the ex if they have a problem it's not your problem.
 
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