Drug abuse but not the normal kind

[Accy cyclist]

There i was this afternoon on a main road, in the pouring rain wearing my high viz rain jacket, complete with bright front and rear lights observing the Highway Code, whilst trying to avoid all the hazards, when Mr Angry came up behind me in his Mercedes Benz. He must have thought "Now how can i show my contempt for this peasant on two wheels". "He isn't hard to see, he's observing the Highway Code, but he's totally p.ss.ng me off because i can't overtake him in my 50 grand car"! "I know i'll wind my window down and call him a drug cheat"!
"You effing drug cheating bas.t..d, your sport is full of cheats, you're all scum" blah blah!!
What's the problem i managed to shout, then he drove like a mad man just to pull up along side and continue the abuse. I told him that i wasn't actually Lance Armstrong and that maybe he should take it up with him. This didn't pacify the looney, he continued his mad rant, at which point i'd had enough so out came the bottle from the cage, i pulled the stopper open with my teeth and let the foul mouthed div have a nice cooling shower to calm him down. At that point i made a quick tactical retreat up a narrow farm track, denying the looney any chance of catching me!

 

[Andy_R]

I've always found the best response to confrontations like this is to stare at them, with a slight smile on my face and tilit my head very slightly one way then the other and back again (in a quizical manner). In other words, act in a very slightly disconcerting manner (imagine a gekko watching a particulary tasty looking fly and try to imitate it).....they soon get back in their boxes.

 

[Davidc]

Similar to Andy_R, but I just look at them, and when they stop shrug my shoulders in a dismissive way and ride off, making sure I've got escape room.

I'm sure Patrick could confirm or otherwise but I think what you did is technically assault, doubt he'll put in a complaint though.

 

[Cycleops]

Nice one! He was probably drunk, you should have reported him.

 

[Licramite]

arn,t mercs the ones with a gun sight for a car badge , kind of sums up the way thier driven/aimed at things
he sounds like a nice frendly guy - and he had a point - not a very good one admittedly
nothing like that ever happens to me

 

[HovR]

Didn't expect that ending.

 

[TonyEnjoyD]

Bloody good on you.

 

[BrianEvesham]

Good for you and thanks for making me laugh.

 

[400bhp]

What a bizarre tale.

 

[SomethingLikeThat]

Will that argument become the new 'you don't pay road tax?'

 

[Andrew_Culture]

The world is full of nutters doing crazy things.

 

[Peter Armstrong]

More like you noticed the narrow path and calculated your escape before "cooling" him down. Funny tho!

 

[Cyclopathic]

I think I would have been tempted to offer to sell him some tranquilisers.

 

[Globalti]

I was driving into Manchester recently, changing lanes correctly when I got an aggressive blast on the horn from a Jewish driver in Cheetham Hill. Ignored him and carried on driving and when I reached my destination at Piccadilly station there he was, unloading some family from his Mercedes. I couldn't resist saying to him, quite pleasantly: "You need to relax a little my friend, if you carry on being so aggressive you'll end up having a heart attack from stress!"

He turned around to me and replied: "Oh! I would LOVE that!"

Strange man.

 

[Andrew_Culture]

Last night some kid hanging out of an expensive car went passed yelling 'tyres flat' over and over. I quietly muttered 'your tyre is flat, not tyres flat'.