Etiquette shown to guests in one's home

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Accy cyclist

Legendary Member
How do you greet guests and visitors when they come to your home? My grumble is that whenever i call round at someone's home these days i have to prompt them to offer me refreshments. Once of a day it was polite to offer a guest a cup of tea or a cup of coffee,even a sandwich if the guest had travelled a fair distance. Nowadays refreshments aren't offered,well in my case anyway. For example,i went round to a friend's the other day. There i was for half an hour at least,waiting to be offered a cup of tea. No offer came. So i decided to prompt her by asking if i could have a cup of tea. She seemed a little surprised,so i asked if she thought i was being cheeky in asking for a cup of tea. No she replied,but i'm surprised as i've never been asked by a visitor if they could have a cup of tea before. Well maybe you should offer them one to save them the embarrassment of having to ask,especially if they've cycled here and need the refreshment more than others,i replied.Whenever someone calls at my place i offer them a cup of tea or coffee,usually about 5 minutes after they've arrived,giving them time to settle and take their coat off etc. No one wants to have a cup of te thrust in their face before they've hardly walked through the door,but on the other hand they shouldn't have to wait ages to be offered one or even worse,not offered one at all. Not only do i offer tea or coffee,i also offer them food if they hint that they haven't eaten for a while. This offer would be one of something simple like a slice of toast or a piece of cake,but the offer is there and i think i'm being polite in doing so.One story springs to mind whenever i think about this. A friend of mine was about to have a visit from bailiffs who had come to take away his car as he hadn't kept up on the payments. There they were all mob handed,ready for a confrontation when my friend asked them politely if they'd like a cup of tea. The heavies seemed surprised as they were normally greeted by abuse and threats of violence. Not only did he offer them tea but he told me that he also offered them the angel cake he'd bought in thinking/knowing that it would calm the situation. It worked,according to him. Ok the car was still repossessed but it was done in a polite and gentlemanly way,without violence and bad feelings. He said the bailiffs thanked him for his hospitality and even advised him how to go about getting his car back.
The question is,do you offer refreshments to guests or visitors to your home and what are those refreshments?
 

Jimidh

Veteran
Location
Midlothian
Yo will always get offered a beverage in my home - your choice if it’s alcoholic or not.
 
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Accy cyclist

Accy cyclist

Legendary Member
Yo will always get offered a beverage in my home - your choice if it’s alcoholic or not.
Do you offer alcohol at any time of day? I think alcohol should only be offered at say after 2pm. If it's Christmas or New Year's Day maybe i'd make an exception and offer a small glass of sherry in the morning.
 

marinyork

Resting in suspended Animation
Location
Logopolis
Can't say I've noticed the difference. Maybe I know proper hard core tea drinkers who are offering to guests, rather than closet tea drinkers who have to panic to get out the china and dust it off.

The only change I've noticed in hospitality in my lifetime is some people wanting to use the front door (culturally this is a very big no no in these parts).
 
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screenman

Legendary Member
We noticed a huge change when we moved to Lincolnshire, my wife goes in houses where they make each other a cup but not offer her one.
 

Tin Pot

Guru
I hate the tea thing. I hate offering tea and I hate being offered it. It's like some kind of mental disease.

My dad and I fell out over it once. I had a new flat with a huge selection of drinks. He insisted on tea. I refused. He left. :laugh:
 
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Accy cyclist

Accy cyclist

Legendary Member
I'm usually offered tea or coffee when i've cycled to someone's home. If they have a well stocked fruit bowl i'll ask if it's ok if i have a banana instead of or as well as.
 

DaveReading

Don't suffer fools gladly (must try harder!)
Location
Reading, obvs
[QUOTE 5007371, member: 9609"]You'll have had your tea then ?[/QUOTE]

Haha. That was one of my grandfather's favourite sayings, along with "He enjoys very poor health" and "Don't be afraid to take the last cake, your hostess is sure to have some more".
 
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