Etiquette shown to guests in one's home

[Sandra6]

If somebody turned up unannounced and I didnt want them to stay long I wouldn't offer a drink or snack and I'd possibly not invite them in at all if I'm honest.
If someone is invited over I have the kettle on and cake ready when they arrive.
Whenever I visit somebody I always take something, usually cake or a bacon sandwich if it's in the morning, and I'm always offered a cup of tea. If I'm not I take the hint and leave.
I don't know why you'd fall out with someone for wanting a cup of tea though?

 

[gbb]

Tea gets offered without exception in our house...i say tea, a drink, coffee, whatever. Couldn't imagine not doing it.

 

[T4tomo]

I was brought up in a Yorkshire farmhouse. Tea was pretty much on tap at everyone's house. You need to ask or offer, a mug of it appeared in front of anyone who appeared.

 

[gavroche]

Offering a drink to guests is good manners, whether it is tea, coffee or other.

 

[oldfatfool]

My mates know were the kettle is.

 

[MikeG]

How do you greet guests and visitors when they come to your home? My grumble is that whenever i call round at someone's home these days i have to prompt them to offer me refreshments. Once of a day it was polite to offer a guest a cup of tea or a cup of coffee,even a sandwich if the guest had travelled a fair distance. Nowadays refreshments aren't offered,well in my case anyway. For example,i went round to a friend's the other day. There i was for half an hour at least,waiting to be offered a cup of tea. No offer came. So i decided to prompt her by asking if i could have a cup of tea. She seemed a little surprised,so i asked if she thought i was being cheeky in asking for a cup of tea. No she replied,but i'm surprised as i've never been asked by a visitor if they could have a cup of tea before. Well maybe you should offer them one to save them the embarrassment of having to ask,especially if they've cycled here and need the refreshment more than others,i replied.Whenever someone calls at my place i offer them a cup of tea or coffee,usually about 5 minutes after they've arrived,giving them time to settle and take their coat off etc. No one wants to have a cup of te thrust in their face before they've hardly walked through the door,but on the other hand they shouldn't have to wait ages to be offered one or even worse,not offered one at all. Not only do i offer tea or coffee,i also offer them food if they hint that they haven't eaten for a while. This offer would be one of something simple like a slice of toast or a piece of cake,but the offer is there and i think i'm being polite in doing so.One story springs to mind whenever i think about this. A friend of mine was about to have a visit from bailiffs who had come to take away his car as he hadn't kept up on the payments. There they were all mob handed,ready for a confrontation when my friend asked them politely if they'd like a cup of tea. The heavies seemed surprised as they were normally greeted by abuse and threats of violence. Not only did he offer them tea but he told me that he also offered them the angel cake he'd bought in thinking/knowing that it would calm the situation. It worked,according to him. Ok the car was still repossessed but it was done in a polite and gentlemanly way,without violence and bad feelings. He said the bailiffs thanked him for his hospitality and even advised him how to go about getting his car back.
The question is,do you offer refreshments to guests or visitors to your home and what are those refreshments?

I always offer tea, of course. Anyone who asks for coffee is buried under the patio. I also offer free grammar advice, focusing especially on paragraphs.

Edit.....

I have various sizes of mug available. If you get given a half-pint mug of tea, I like you, and want you to stay a while. If you get the thing barely bigger than an egg cup, I've got other things to do than sit listening to you whittering on all afternoon.

 

[Cycleops]

Because of the heat down here visitors are always offered a glass and a bottle of water. It’s considered very rude not to do so.

 

[NickNick]

I always offer cup of tea or coffee, if its someone who I don't mind staying for a while they also get offered followup cups/topups. If its someone I want to leave asap, they only get the one.

 

[MikeG]

.......The only change I've noticed in hospitality in my lifetime is some people wanting to use the front door (culturally this is a very big no no in these parts).

I think this is one of the weirdest of weird English behaviours. The front door taboo affects my professional life (I'm an architect), and it can be traced back centuries to screens passages in hall houses, and beyond that to the alley between the animal accommodation and human accommodation in long houses and the like. Bizarre, bizarre, bizarre. I've just built a bloody great porch on the front of my house, and I'm going to build a bloody great wall at the side, forcing people to break a lifetime's habit and approach a house from the damn front.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I've just built a bloody great porch on the front of my house, and I'm going to build a bloody great wall at the side, forcing people to break a lifetime's habit and approach a house from the damn front.

When you say "I" do you mean you've done it yourself or had someone do it for you?

 

[NickNick]

I think this is one of the weirdest of weird English behaviours. The front door taboo affects my professional life (I'm an architect), and it can be traced back centuries to screens passages in hall houses, and beyond that to the alley between the animal accommodation and human accommodation in long houses and the like. Bizarre, bizarre, bizarre. I've just built a bloody great porch on the front of my house, and I'm going to build a bloody great wall at the side, forcing people to break a lifetime's habit and approach a house from the damn front.

I've never understood why people spend significant money getting a porch built, seems very odd imo to spend thousands on a tiny room to take your shoes off in!

 

[MikeG]

When you say "I" do you mean you've done it yourself or had someone do it for you?

No, I mean "I".

 

[MikeG]

I've never understood why people spend significant money getting a porch built, seems very odd imo to spend thousands on a tiny room to take your shoes off in!

I'll happily talk about this all day, but we'd be in danger of diverting the thread. Have a quick look at the link I've just posted, and I'll happily have a chat about it in a suitable new thread. This one is ostensibly about tea.

 

[Accy cyclist]

No, I mean "I".

That's nice. I was only asking as i was wondering if you had the workmen in and if so whether you offered them tea and biscuits on a regular basis to keep them happy.

 

[mcshroom]

To get to my back door you would have to walk round two unlit muddy paths round the back of half the street and then scale the jungle that's supposed to be my back garden, so everyone comes through the front door.

It's still strange though as the only things that ever enter through the front door of the house I grew up in house are letters. In fact my dad had a wooden planter across in front of it for a while.