Receiving my post-Eurovision dialysis now so here are the votes from the Winchester jury
Nil points: The green room presenter. #peanut
Un point: Dodgy voting - not enough of it this year. The old USSR countries tried their best, but you really need the Balkan states for some proper gerrymandering.
Deux Points: Costumes. Good effort Romania, but otherwise far too tasteful. Gap, Malta?! Gap!
Trois Points: Gimmicks. See costumes. A bit of wire work, Stinky Pete in the box but that was about it.
Quatre Points: Our Bonnie. A Stoke City like performance from the 80s pompstress. Thom Yorke singing something from 'Eraser' next year please.
Cinq Points: Graham Norton. He's made for Eurovision but can't help but feel he phoned in most of last night's commentary.
Six Points: Finland's Brookside moment.
Sept Points: Somborne Valley Estate white, the very local wine I was supping during the evening. Available from Waitrose.
Huit Points: Lena Meyer Landrut, the German vote announcer. I want to protect her.
Dix Points: The song in the interval. Should have won it.
Douze Points: ALCOHOLALCOHOLALCOLHOLISFREE!!!!!!
Thank you Malmo for a wonderful evening.