Ex Forces??
- Thread starter Chrisz
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ACS
Legendary Member
- Location
- Just below the snow line
Chrisz said:Reminds me of a couple of 'gronk' incidents
1) '79, Lympstone - just about to Pass Out. Squad PU included (as usual) a stripper. Que line of soon-to-be Royals at a door marked 'Private' where said stripper was 'dispensing favours'. One, rather drunk, naive and young recruit (about 10th in the line) is exceptionally fast in the little room.
"Well? Did you doo the deed?"
"Err, no! I didn't fancy her so I just got a snog."
"Oh! We've all been getting BJs off her!!"
Recruit promptly gaggs and lays a kit muster
Mid '80s, Plymouth Union Street, horrible, huge bird nicknamed Bertha - used to prey on young Marines and was not adverse to beating the crp out of them if they refused to do the deed (she was truly a monster!!!). I remember having to rescue my mate from her clutches and running up Union Street with her in hot persuit, broken beer bottle in each hand!!
Skip forwards 20 years - working at a bar in Sittingbourne, talking to some of the lads. One mentions that they have just come back from working in Plymouth, then admits he got smacked by some woman. A brief description confirmed - Bertha is alive and well and still patrolling Union Street!!!!
Union Street
.......I was out with the escort group from 45 when one of them kopped off with the lady manager of a bar we where drinking in (maybe the Two Trees or the one opposite?). Anyway he was dragged into a back room only to discover, to his horror and our glee, that she was a he and still had possession of his family jewels. I will let you all imagine how he found out. Thoughts are with 45, having a tough time at the moment. Great bunch to be out with.Bertha, never had the pleasure but we where warned by the Leading Reg on the Shore Patrol that if we went near her we would be arrested for our own safety as the Navy would find it embarrassing explaining why 4 crabs (RAF types) had taken up residence in the sick bay during a formal vist to the base. Halcyon days
satans budgie said:Union Street
There were a few around - we used to work inthe A/E at he Royal Naval Hospital just off Union Street - so used to pic up al the dross.
We once has a new Doc who wanted a chaperone for a female patient and we kept on telling him he didn't need one. In the end he simply stated that he was NOT going to examine ayoung attractive female patient without a chaperone, and blushed when we pointed out tthat it was a regular, and that whilst young, and attractive may be applied in his personal judgement but that the "female" was not applicable in this case!
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Chrisz
Über Member
- Location
- Sittingbourne
satans budgie said:
Diamond Lil's or the Antelope???
Both are now gone - made way for a nice, spankly Holiday Inn
I learnt a lot in Diamond Lil's - including how a stripper can 'magically' make a 6' python dissapear
ACS
Legendary Member
- Location
- Just below the snow line
Chrisz said:Diamond Lil's or the Antelope???
Both are now gone - made way for a nice, spankly Holiday Inn
I learnt a lot in Diamond Lil's - including how a stripper can 'magically' make a 6' python dissapear
Diamond Lil's that's the gaff.
Was that the stripper who could also excite the Royal Artillery by being able to launch a beer bottle with a flick of her hips and achieve a perfect trajectory?
jay clock
Massive member
- Location
- Hampshire UK
My abiding memory of ex forces types is in reading their cvs and interviewing them. At interview they constantly use expressions like "my 2OC" and expect me to understand what the hell they were talking about, and even worse, when I ask them to speak English they continue in squaddie.
Also someone seems to have told them to get all their cv onto one page, so you end up with 1800 words on a single side of A4 on 7 point font, telling you that they are trained not only on the Klingon 7394AX9 version 7.3, but also the 7.4, 7.5 etc when you are hiring them as a driver
But I have hired some great ones! Wouldn't be my cup of tea being in the forces unless I could join as a General
Also someone seems to have told them to get all their cv onto one page, so you end up with 1800 words on a single side of A4 on 7 point font, telling you that they are trained not only on the Klingon 7394AX9 version 7.3, but also the 7.4, 7.5 etc when you are hiring them as a driver
But I have hired some great ones! Wouldn't be my cup of tea being in the forces unless I could join as a General
ACS
Legendary Member
- Location
- Just below the snow line
User76 said:When I was based in Osnabruck there was a midget who used to frequent the Skatch nightclub/fightzone. She would often disappear from view by walking under a table, and er, um, er perform a sex act on each squaddie sat at the table(A more appropriate use of that smiley has never been achieved!!). When we moved back to Aldershot, Dave Somethingorother missed her so much he married her and they moved into a pad flat just down the road. Every time we went out on exercise or postings she was back to her old tricks straight away.
Love truly is blind
There was a young lady in Stanley who had a similar reputation. She was known as "The Submarine" 'cause she would go down on anyone.
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Chrisz
Über Member
- Location
- Sittingbourne
satans budgie said:Diamond Lil's that's the gaff.
Was that the stripper who could also excite the Royal Artillery by being able to launch a beer bottle with a flick of her hips and achieve a perfect trajectory?
Sounds about right - she had a 'fascinating' anatomy
and knew how to use it!User76 said:My sister-in-law met a chap, who she has since married, and is a great bloke. However, when she first met him he gave her the usual 'Forces, a bit special, can't really talk about it blah blah' (own up, we've all done it) Anyway, a few months later and he is going to be introduced at Christmas time to the family, lots of 'Oh ***** is in the Army, Special Forces etc etc' Inevitably the subject of what he did comes up, he mentions words like highly trained, specialist, so I pushed him on his regiment, 'Commandos' he says.
'Which one?'
'Marine Commandos'
'Yeah obviously, but which one?'
'29, we do specialist stuff for the Commandos'
The look on his face to the next bit was the funny thing.......
'Oh, so it's a bit naughty calling yourself a marine then, if you are really in the artillery'
'Eh, how do you know'
'Because I was in 7RHA for 8 years and I don't call myself a Para!'
Oh how we laughed, I kept his dirty secret though, I think my sister in law still thinks he stormed the Iranian Embassy, which is obviously bollocks because I would have seen him there
The bloke in Hereford I bought my Shogun off was using it to ferry footballers around in around Manchester where he was working as a bodyguard (i'd say he is about 55 now). I assume he had it because it would take a lot to stop it once rolling if someone tried any funny business.
You'd have never have guessed it to look at him because he was a very wirey looking but well spoken chap, but when I went into his study to do the paperwork, there was a water colour of the SAS on the balcony hanging on the wall, and other pictures of him in the desert holding rifles in combats etc.
foggy
Active Member
- Location
- in the wilds of norfolk
ex army here 25 years royal signals with pension laughing all the way to the bank
graham56
Guru
satans budgie said:Union Street
Bertha, never had the pleasure but we where warned by the Leading Reg on the Shore Patrol that if we went near her we would be arrested for our own safety as the Navy would find it embarrassing explaining why 4 crabs (RAF types) had taken up residence in the sick bay during a formal vist to the base. Halcyon days
I heard a similar story back in 75, was it a myth or a mythter
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Chrisz
Über Member
- Location
- Sittingbourne
Titch said:
Evening Jack
