If I felt able to proffer advice it would be for a new bike but I know the rider will only buy a seat post. The next worry I suppose is if the seat post failed what failure is building up in the seat tube?
Yes, it's a very difficult situation. On occasions I get asked for advice and I'm happy to give it. One female fellow club member approached me asking for help on anything I felt she could do better. A part of our chat was to alter her position and I advised her to get a bike fit!! She was very peed off to be told at the bike fit her position was spot on. I'm still rather proud of this.
In my experience men are less receptive to advice than women. The rider in question has a dreadful technique, everything about it is wrong. He literally bounces on every stroke, over extends his legs and freewheels after every 10-15 pedal strokes. The seat post flexes on every stroke. All this is so obvious but how on earth does one raise it?
Last week a guy who rides with us from time to time said this. "You guys have so much experience. I've learned a lot from you." Now there's a man who wouldn't be offended to receive a suggestion.
My full-time buddy and I later agreed we felt very good about that remark.
Great work - that's exactly how it should be; otherwise how will people learn if everyone is too cautious to say anything?
Personally it's only come to my attention in recent years how apparently frowned upon it is to give unsolicited advice.
I can totally appreciate this in some circumstances (such as making assumptions about someone's motives / sensitive subjects such as body weight or subjective things like personal appearance).. However, I can never quite get my head around people who take offence to well-meaning, accurate and constructive advice in a more objective context - such as this example.
Given all the caution expressed in this case it seems we're all tacitly assuming the guy in the sort to take offence (I now have a likely totally unfair perception of him as a total muppet); and now he's potentially suffered from everyone's unwillingness to offer any assistance - which is a real shame as from what you say it definitely sounds like he could benefit from some guidance.
I've witnessed the gender devide you mention as well and heard similar from sports coaches etc in the past - women tend to objectively take on board what they're told while men seem to struggle - perhaps findng any criticism as an affront to their ego. Funnily enough, while hyper-sensitive to criticism myself I have zero problem with being given advice and would have no issue with some random critiquing my technique if I thought it was sincere and constructive.
Unfortunately this seems like another hallmark of the modern world where people's feelings - no matter how irrational - are prioritised over the actual, physical realities of a situation and their potential repercussions...