Favourite euphemisms for ... OMG, I don't have a non-euphemism for this! Oh except "dunny"

[MossCommuter]

The baaah-thrum

 

[Andrew_P]

I have only ever used Toilet, or accompanied by some sort of weird jig "I need to pay a visit"

Shitter, Crapper, Throne, Trombone all ones I have heard the latter more to do with throwing up for some reason

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Off to see the pyramids (long drop pit with the contents forming a pyramid of stink)

 

[Tin Pot]

Water closet.

Nobody ever knows what I mean by that.

 

[Tin Pot]

The smallest room in the house.

They don't know what I mean by that either actually.

 

[snorri]

Shitter, Crapper, Throne, Trombone all ones I have heard the latter more to do with throwing up for some reason

When Jimmy has over indulged and gone missing from the party, another party goer may ask "Where's Jimmy?" to which another party goer would reply " He's awa' callin' Hughie on the big white telephone"

 

[Andrew_P]

When Jimmy has over indulged and gone missing from the party, another party goer may ask "Where's Jimmy?" to which another party goer would reply " He's awa' callin' Hughie on the big white telephone"

I wonder if that's what I here but I was so pished I thought it was Trombone!!

 

[Tin Pot]

The John,

I have no idea where that comes from.

 

[subaqua]

Chinese folk really like a good euphemism for bodily functions. So it's either
shi shou jian
"wash hands room"

or
wei sheng jian
"hygiene room"

It is a bit of a minefield in UK. I'll go to some posh offices and I never know whether to ask for the "bathroom" or "toilet". I usually go with "loo"

Where’s the gents ? Works well for males
Where’s the ladies ? Works well for females .

Don’t overthink things .

 

[Mr Celine]

Remember clean up TV campaigner Mary Whitehouse?

Billy Connolly once said she was probably like that because her name rhymed with 'toilet'.

 

[mjr]

The head, which is a naval one AFAIK.

 

[AndyRM]

Trap is a good one, I assume it has origins in rhyming slang.

 

[Spinney]

The ladies/gents

 

[Dave 123]

There was one occasion where I needed to be polite (as opposed to my normal 'going for a sh1t') so I said 'I'm going for a sit down'
This has passed into family usage and at work too.

 

[Crackle]

Great thread, Jefmcg. Should really help with the Google ranck'ins