Favourite euphemisms for ... OMG, I don't have a non-euphemism for this! Oh except "dunny"

[fimm]

A former colleague used to say "I'm just going to see my Auntie". She didn't know the origins of that one.
Among the women of our hillwalking club it is popular to say "I'm just going to powder my nose" (when you mean you're going to pee behind that bush over there...)

 

[Rickshaw Phil]

Has nobody mentioned "I'm going to spend a penny" yet?

 

[Spinney]

Going to inspect the plumbing...

(as with @fimm 's friends, often said in the middle of a hillside)

Or 'I'm just going to water the landscape'

 

[nickyboy]

Khazi

Too many reruns of Carry On Up The Khyber

 

[lazybloke]

If you visit parts of Belgium the toilet bowl has a curious dry shelf for deposits to land upon. Gillian McKeith wannabees may appreciate the ease with which they can inspect the goods, but it also facilitates olfactory assault by weapons-grade odours.
Hell, I stopped drinking beers years ago because it upsets my digestion, but my travelling companions did insist on sampling local brews. With predictable results.

No window! No extractor fan!
Glade air freshener is a good thing, but it can't perform miracles. I half-expected Hans Blix to raid the building.


In answer to the original question, we give the Belgian toilet NO NAME, such is the horror.
Usage is simply referred to as 'sitting time'.

 

[JoshM]

The head, which is a naval one AFAIK.

It is. It's called the head because sailors would go off the bow or head of the ship apparently.

 

[jefmcg]

It is. It's called the head because sailors would go off the bow or head of the ship apparently.

I don't think that can be right. Surely they must have used the stern, because the ship is moving in the direction the bow is pointing, so using that would increase the likelihood of whatever you did ending up on the ship (or sailor!) itself.

So I checked the OED, and they say it is called the head because originally that's where it was located.

 

[Deleted member 1258]

Going to inspect the plumbing...

(as with @fimm 's friends, often said in the middle of a hillside)

Or 'I'm just going to water the landscape'

A common one I've heard on club rides is pit stop.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Just off to admire the view (if outside)

 

[BoldonLad]

Netty or Bog are the two most commonly used local terms as far as I know.

 

[Welsh wheels]

On club rides I usually say I'll catch up in a minute. If I'm with friends I usually say something like "Can I use your excretion room?"

 

[Chris S]

I believe that in certain sections of the gay community it's known as 'the cottage'.

 

[Milzy]

It’s the $h1t house.

 

[petek]

Midden.
As in "Ah'm goin' out t't'midden."
With the interrogative response upon return..
"As tha bin?"

 

[glasgowcyclist]

I'm off to see a man about a dog.