Favourite euphemisms for ... OMG, I don't have a non-euphemism for this! Oh except "dunny"

[Mark Grant]

Going to shake hands with the unemployed.

 

[jefmcg]

Suddenly remembered the aussie pub blokes' ones

• off to drain the snake/python
• point percy at the porcelain
• off to shake hands with the wife's best friend.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Suddenly remembered the aussie pub blokes' ones

• off to drain the snake/python
• point percy at the porcelain
• off to shake hands with the wife's best friend.

All familiar here too, along with ''syphon the python.''

 

[mjr]

If I'm in polite company I usually ask where the facilities are.

As in "s/he's facilitating".

Also "enthusing", from "brimming over with enthusiasm".

And finally for now, "looking behind the hedge" while outdoors, or "scaring the horses" apparently almost anywhere.

 

[MrPie]

The facilities: The chokey or Pooper
The act itself: Just goin* to see an old friend off to sea. Pinch a loaf. Give birth to an engineer

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Someone notify the coastguard...

 

[Pro Tour Punditry]

"Off for a single fish..." (pish)
"Time for a Tom Kite..." (shite)

 

[Tim Hall]

Ob. Cycling: Going to turn my bike round.

 

[Mr Celine]

I don't think that can be right. Surely they must have used the stern, because the ship is moving in the direction the bow is pointing, so using that would increase the likelihood of whatever you did ending up on the ship (or sailor!) itself.

I don't think you've realised that by the time ships had engines they also had [insert favourite euphemism here.]

You wouldn't pee off the back of a sailing ship for precisely the reasons you give for not peeing off the front.

 

[green1]

Going to ease springs

 

[srw]

You wouldn't pee off the back of a sailing ship for precisely the reasons you give for not peeing off the front.

Because sailing ships go backwards*? I think we needed that explained.

*No, not another euphemism.

 

[Profpointy]

Going back to OP, having myself spent a year in Oz I do like a lot of their language, eg the already-mentioned "dunny". Also liked "shonky" for in item or service not of the highest quality, or "dobbing in" meaning "to grass", or as we said in Cardiff "to splam", itself a wonderfull phrase. to "hoon around", for reckless or irresponsible driving. "spruiking" for standing outside a shop shouting out the good deals inside, a job we don't even have here. For all that, they didn't understand "bollocks" for a sub-optimal engineering solution.

 

[Mr Celine]

Because sailing ships go backwards*? I think we needed that explained.

*No, not another euphemism.

If the ship has a following wind it can't go faster than the wind. So from the sailor's point of view if the ship is going at 5 knots in a 10 knot wind if he pees off the back of the boat it blows back at him at 5 knots.

 

[snorri]

IME the wc on a ship is referred to as 'the heads' even although there might only be one.

I've come across this definition....
4. The toilet or latrine of a vessel, which in sailing ships projected from the bows and therefore was located in the "head" of the vessel.

...but what is meant by 'projected from the bows' I will leave the panel to consider!

 

[srw]

If the ship has a following wind it can't go faster than the wind.

If I remember correctly from QI a few weeks ago a sailing ship usually goes faster than the wind, because the sail sets up a pressure differential. And it rarely simply sails with a following wind.