Once upon a time a long, long, loooooooooooooooooong time ago, I was a young squaddie in Germany. I was going out with a German girl and it was a mate's 21st birthday. She failed to turn up as arranged at a bar, so I got plastered. About midnight (and much the worse for drink) I stumbled off towards the flat we shared. En route I spotted our very attractive ....... ahem......female neighbour.
At this point I would very much like to stress I was young, drunk, pissed off with GF and VERY earger for some companionship. She invited me in for a drink, so I said I would be round in a bit. I went into the flat and GF was asleep. She woke up and asked me what I was doing rummaging around the flat. I was trying to find my stash of .....ahem......protection. I then told her I was sleeping on the sofa and went into the living room. She turned the bedroom light off.
That was my signal to go into 'Milk tray Man' mode.
I was out of the flat like a shot and onto our balcony (5th floor) I then climbed onto the outside of the balcony and made my way to our neighbours balcony. How I never fell is a mystery, but I didn't. I then quietly tapped on the balcony door and was let in by the neighbour.
I won't go into details, but things progressed quickly and before long our youthful lithe torsos were locked in a passionate embrace (I read too much Mills & Boon). Part way through the act I heard a noise from next door - my flat. The GF was up and shouting for me!! It was at this point I realised that when I left the flat I locked the front door from the inside - and left my keys IN THE DOOR. There was nowhere else for me to be than in the flat, but I wasn't there.
We crept naked to the balcony door, and heard my GF checking the balcony. I am ashamed to say we carried on regardless, there stood up behind the net curtains, not 5 feet from my GF.
In for the penny, in for the pound, we carried on for the rest of the wee small hours, before I dragged my sorry carcass back to the flat about 6 in the morning. I finally woke up to a blazing row around midday, and was a 'singly' in camp with all my possessions about 4 hours later.