Films that massively disappointed......

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Open Range and Waterworld are first rate!

I didn't see Waterworld on release (working overseas), but when I did it blew my socks off.

It takes itself too seriously (it is a Costner film) but it is a superb visual and aural spectacle.

We sail from time to time and my kids (all now teens) still do the "Ker-chunka-chunka-chunk" sound from the opening scene whenever we raise a sail and the appropriate hand motion of a mast rising and a sail unfurling. You have to be there.... Or maybe not.

Anyone who says that Waterworld is a stinker has read too many reviews or just never climbed a tree or made their own bow and arrow as a child. It is a masterpiece on a par with Diva, The Cruel Sea or Un Coeur en Hiver.

If you disagree, you are wrong now and will be wrong tomorrow. And you are clinically stupid. And you smell like a wheelie bin in a New York summer.
 
Most recent was Skyfall - all that hype and proved to be utterly dire and so boring I almost turned it off before the end.
Surely the previous 45 boring bond films would have been enough warning. They are all over hyped and all roughly the same.
 

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
Get Shorty. Along with Five Easy Pieces and The Missouri Breaks (both these last two starred Jack Nicholson) they are the only three films I've left the cinema before the end of.
 

surfdude

Veteran
Location
cornwall
Adrift , has to be the most worst film of all time . it makes Waterworld look like a master piece .
Green Lantern
War of the Worlds
The Day The Earth Stood Still (remake)
Most remakes of old classic films
 

PaulSecteur

No longer a Specialized fanboy
Anything that starts with "This is a party political broadcast on behalf..."

Its always lies and set in an abstract world that bears no resemblance to reality.
 

BSRU

A Human Being
Location
Swindon
I didn't see Waterworld on release (working overseas), but when I did it blew my socks off.

It takes itself too seriously (it is a Costner film) but it is a superb visual and aural spectacle.

We sail from time to time and my kids (all now teens) still do the "Ker-chunka-chunka-chunk" sound from the opening scene whenever we raise a sail and the appropriate hand motion of a mast rising and a sail unfurling. You have to be there.... Or maybe not.

Anyone who says that Waterworld is a stinker has read too many reviews or just never climbed a tree or made their own bow and arrow as a child. It is a masterpiece on a par with Diva, The Cruel Sea or Un Coeur en Hiver.

If you disagree, you are wrong now and will be wrong tomorrow. And you are clinically stupid. And you smell like a wheelie bin in a New York summer.
I certainly disagree, I unfortunately saw it at the cinema when it first came out, talk about a boring and pretentious, like the vast majority of Costner's films.
 

Cyclopathic

Veteran
Location
Leicester.
Open Range and Waterworld are first rate!

Waterworld I assure you is not first rate. Nor second rate. It may, just may scrape in at the very bottom of third rate but it's position is by no means guaranteed and it is definitely in the relegation zone contemplating fourth rate.

I have never seen nor heard of Open Range but if it has Kevin Costner in it in any more than a brief walk on part then it is without doubt a complete pile. Mr. Costner has the opposite of the Midas touch in any film he's in. He has what is known as charisntma. Not simply a lack of charisma but the ability to suck out all the possible interest and mystery from everything and everyone within a 50 foot radius of himself. If you watch him walk about you can see the world visibly grey as he passes by. God only knows how he was ever in more than his first film. I can only assume some Faustian pact has assured him of lucrative contracts and parts though I shudder at what the price must have been. I can't imagine that Lucifer would have much use for a soul that was so utterly bereft of all signs of life. It is possible he traded some one elses soul.

Hope that clears things up for you re Costner.
 
Waterworld I assure you is not first rate. Nor second rate. It may, just may scrape in at the very bottom of third rate but it's position is by no means guaranteed and it is definitely in the relegation zone contemplating fourth rate.

I have never seen nor heard of Open Range but if it has Kevin Costner in it in any more than a brief walk on part then it is without doubt a complete pile. Mr. Costner has the opposite of the Midas touch in any film he's in. He has what is known as charisntma. Not simply a lack of charisma but the ability to suck out all the possible interest and mystery from everything and everyone within a 50 foot radius of himself. If you watch him walk about you can see the world visibly grey as he passes by. God only knows how he was ever in more than his first film. I can only assume some Faustian pact has assured him of lucrative contracts and parts though I shudder at what the price must have been. I can't imagine that Lucifer would have much use for a soul that was so utterly bereft of all signs of life. It is possible he traded some one elses soul.

Hope that clears things up for you re Costner.

I accept that Mr Costner does not have the screen presence of a Bogart or a Bogarde, perhaps even of a bogie, but this does not diminish the wider point: Waterworld is an excellent film. This is a fact.

I accept also that his oevre contains some stinkers (almost every other film he made), but this too does not detract from the wider point: Waterworld is an excellent film.

Any merit attaching to JFK, The Postman, The Untouchables or that baseball thingy is despite Costner rather than because of him, but this does not detract from the wider point: Waterworld is an excellent film.

If you can name a better film in which a partly-evolved amphibian human, an orphan, her guardian and a strange Hungarian balloonist battle the forces of evil, as led by Dennis Hopper on their rusting oil tanker, and ultimately prevail despite a series of devastating setbacks and acts of perfidy by said baddies, I'd like to know its name!

Waterworld is excellent and I declare this discussion over, unless anyone wants to tell me how right I am. Which I am!
 

Profpointy

Legendary Member
I accept that Mr Costner does not have the screen presence of a Bogart or a Bogarde, perhaps even of a bogie, but this does not diminish the wider point: Waterworld is an excellent film. This is a fact.

I accept also that his oevre contains some stinkers (almost every other film he made), but this too does not detract from the wider point: Waterworld is an excellent film.

Any merit attaching to JFK, The Postman, The Untouchables or that baseball thingy is despite Costner rather than because of him, but this does not detract from the wider point: Waterworld is an excellent film.

If you can name a better film in which a partly-evolved amphibian human, an orphan, her guardian and a strange Hungarian balloonist battle the forces of evil, led by Dennis Hopper on their rusting oil tanker and ultimately prevail despite a series of devastating setbacks and acts of perfidy by said baddies, I'd like to know its name!

Waterworld is excellent and I declare this discussion over, unless anyone wants to tell me how right I am. Which I am!

Haven't seen it but you make it sound great fun !

To be fair to our Kev, I even found that baseball ghosts one rather good, despite it being nonsense and baseball being both dull And american. Didn't he do another one on baseball involving Susan Sarandon without her kit on, or is that just some pervy imaginings of mine? And what about the semi docu Cuban misile crisis one - that was first rate.


Regarding disapinting rather than Bad films, I too was very underwhelmed by Skyfall after the excellent Casino Royal, and pretty good quantum of solace. the hobbit started well with the excellent if overlong feast scene in Bilbo's house then went downhill very fast - piss poor overall rather than merely a disapointment. And the last Batman one was plain awfull. At the risk of heresy, and raising the tone somewhat I was disapointed in Battleship Potemkin - at least take as entertainment - ground breaking and extraordiary it may be. i was also very disapointed with the Werner Herzog thing in 3d about cave paintings, dull dull dull, and the 3d made me feel sick. Note, I do watch and appreciate serious art films, and not just those swedish ones in a plain wrapper.
 
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