Filthy jokes but with clean punchlines. Just post the punchline!

[Archie_tect]

... he never played the clarinet again.

 

[PaulB]

"No, I didn't know it was my wife either, officer, until you shone your torch into the car."

 

[Slim]

.....Mum!!! You awake???

 

[swee'pea99]

Your Dad's **** tastes of blood.

 

[ChrisKH]

No, it says "Welcome to Jamaica - Have a Nice Day"

 

[Fnaar]

Help! Let me out!

 

[Fnaar]

No, that's the sardines, matron

 

[Fnaar]

Ye gods, vicar, that's by far the biggest one I've ever seen!

(OK, I'm sort of making these up now)...

 

[dan_bo]

That'll never keep 'till saturday!

 

[andrew-the-tortoise]

"But just you smell that rim....."

 

[Rhythm Thief]

"Oh, I thought you meant today"

 

[Amanda P]

... as the actress said to the bishop.

 

[red_tom]

Know it? I wrote it!

 

[HonestMan1910]

That's not the Blarney Stone, but don't stop kissing it

 

[PaulB]

"No wonder, that's a bull, not a cow."