First Day at Work Nightmares

[BrumJim]

Bloke has just started work at our company today, and on day 1 he slashed his finger open on a knife.

I need to make him feel better about himself, so please pass on any stories about mistakes made on Day 1 at work.

e.g.:
On his way out to bat for his Test debut for South Africa, Faf du Plessis tripped over and banged his face.

 

[PhilDawson8270]

Day 1 stories?

I heard of a guy who sliced his finger open with a knife on his first day. It got infected, and it had to be amputated.

Does that help?

 

[Drago]

And when he got home from the Hospital he caught his Wife in bed with his best friend.

 

[Beebo]

I started a new job, at midday the directors sent everyone an email announcing the company had been sold to my previous employer!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Bloke has just started work at our company today, and on day 1 he slashed his finger open on a knife.

My first day as the H&S rep someone slashed his finger with a knife before I could give the H&S briefing.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Ah yes, work. I seem to remember that word.

Four letters Rocky

 

[Salar]

First day at work, a summer job in the stores of a shop during the school holidays. I was sitting in the small kitchen with a very attractive shop assistant opposite, mini skirt etc, it was the 60's.

We were the only two people in the room, she asked me would I like to see her cuticles Not having a clue what they were, but its sounded exciting to a 15 year old. I nervously said yes.................................................What a disappointment

 

[summerdays]

Ok ... Not my first day at work, but the third, and the first in the warehouse (summer job 1983).

We were shown the ropes and left to stack toothpaste tubes (12 packs) onto a pallet, as they appeared from the floor above. Only we couldn't keep up with the speed the line above was working, and they didn't know that. A huge toothpaste mountain started accumulating, and the guys driving the forklifts stopped what they were doing to help two young teenagers.

Made some friends that day, but they never sent us to the warehouse section again and at the end of the month, all employees would get a goody bag of damaged goods.... Everyone had multiple tubes of toothpaste that month

 

[Electric_Andy]

First proper office job I had, I was there 20 minutes and sliced my thumb on the side of a cardboard file hanger. The mother of all paper cuts. Blood everywhere. As it was an office, they seemingly had never had any accidents like this so no-one knew who the first-aider was. I was traipsed around all of the departments like a schoolboy who'd wet himself

 

[perplexed]

Many moons ago, I seem to recall someone spearing a vat containing 300 gallons of orange juice concentrate with a fork lift...

Who the heck was it now...

 

[postman]

Not first day at work.But first day on a 'round' at another delivery office.Got my next bundle of mail out of my bag,undid the string.Notice no rubber bands.String was the order of the day back in the 70's.Bang up went the letters like a burst from a firework.All over the pavement.So i resorted them on the top of a privet hedge.It was the first and only time it happened.I had made the bundle too large.

 

[Julia9054]

Aged 20, first day of my new job at an arts centre in Bradford. Had to catch the train from Leeds - hadn't had a great deal of experience with train travel. Went to the platform, got on the train at that platform. At that point, the doors locked and all the lights went out. The train I was supposed to be on, pulled in in front, all the passengers got on and it left again. Finally, I managed to attract someone's attention by banging on the door and shouting and I was released.
Arrived half an hour late. All my new colleagues thought it was a scream!

 

[tyred]

Many moons ago, I seem to recall someone spearing a vat containing 300 gallons of orange juice concentrate with a fork lift...

Who the heck was it now...

I know a forklift driver who dropped a pallet of Johnny Walker. I think 2 bottles survived.

 

[Easytigers]

Was working in a frozen food factory as a summer job. One guy on supply came in and his job was to load the burgers onto the rotating grill. The supervisor showed him what to do and let him get on with it. He forgot to tell him that it occasionally set on fire but you just had to push the emergency stop and it would go out...it set on fire and the guy ran to the sinks, filled a bucket full of water and threw it onto the grill...BOOM! He set the factory on fire! Funnily enough, the next summer I worked there again and they'd made him supervisor!

 

[Dave7]

Not my first day but.............working at Cadbury's (in the flavour stores) in the 60s I was trying to multi-task (should have known better). I was measuring molasses form a 1 tonne container into 4 pint jugs. As it was so thick it took ages so I decided to fill out some paperwork as it was running.
Approx 40 minutes later......... I tried to move my feet only to look down and find myself surrounded by half a tonne of horrible, thick, slimy molasses. I had to phone for help and a whole team of cleaners had to clean up while I went and hid somewhere.
I kept my job though