Friday limerick comp anyone?

[Panter]

Morning all

As there seems to be some very talented, humorous posters on here, is anyone up for a cycling limerick competition?

All in the name of fun obviously and the winner gets, .......well......, to win

I'll kick off and punt myself into an early lead:



There was a young man from Kent
Whose crank was terribly bent
He reached into his pocket, whipped out a new sprocket
And with a big grin, off he went.



Obviously funny ones would be better

 

[mr_hippo]

Obviously funny ones would be better

To be pedantic, that is comic verse and not a limerick.

 

[Panter]

Sorry, thats a terrible limerick. You're not gonna win with that.












Ok, anyone up for a comic verse competition?

 

[Aperitif]

There was a young panter from Sittingbourne,
whose bib shorts were always getting torn;
From very first light
to the darkness of night,
cycling, just until they were torn.

 

[Arch]

To be pedantic, that is comic verse and not a limerick.

Why?

Definition:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_(poetry)

Seems to allow a degree of variation, and Panter's seems to fit fine.


I'm useless at this sort of thing... I'll spend all day working one out now, and it'll be the most tortured limerick you ever heard...

 

[mr_hippo]

A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, the metre is wrong and it does not scan.

 

[JamesAC]

I once wrote a poem for this forum
I thought on the server I'd store 'em
But the Admin said "No -
That's no way to go -
Instead of amuse, you'd just bore 'em"

 

[Frazer]

There once was a racer from Idaho,
Who always dreamt of turning pro,
training up every hill,
with sheer grit and will,
**** that, ill just take EPO

 

[Arch]

Ah, the rigid world of hippo once again.

There was an old man of Bangkuk,
Who set up a puzzle on duck,
It went on for ages,
And swamped many pages,
Until none of us could give a flip...

 

[Tim Bennet.]

No, that doesn't rhyme either.

The word you were looking for was '****'.

 

[Canrider]

My personal favourite:
There was a young lass from St. Bees
Who was stung on the arm by a wasp.
When asked if it hurt,
She replied 'Yes it does
I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet.'

(In some possible world, it rhymes)

Oh, poop, it's even on the wiki page.

 

[Tim Bennet.]

There once was a lady from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole in her ear
And said you can't swim here it's private.

 

[Tetedelacourse]

A Phd student from York
Found an archaeological fork
To the welshman who'd wronged
Her attack was 3-pronged
And of similar violence to Bjork

 

[Fnaar]

There was a young poet called Dan
Whose poetry just didn't scan.
When askd why 'twas so
He said "I don't know...
But perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I can't resist trying to put as many words into the last line as I possibly...can!

There was a young man on a trike
Who fancied a girl on a bike
But his back wheels got stuck
Bumping over a rut
Which was a bit of a shame, really, as he couldn't catch her up and ask her to go to the pictures with him.

 

[Elmer Fudd]

There's a young lady called Nathalus,
On CycleChat she caused quite a fuss,
Then she came over here,
and made it quite clear,
that really she liked all of us.

( Well, most anyway ! )