Friday limerick comp anyone?

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Globalti

Legendary Member
Mary had a little pig
and it was always gruntin'.

She tied it to a five-bar gate
and kicked its little head in.

Is that a Limerick?
 

bof

Senior member. Oi! Less of the senior please
Location
The world
I once saw a lesbian on a bike
Whose machine was broken, like
She said "If you can successfully meddle"
"With my wonky pedal"
"You can party all night with this dike"
 

Brock

Senior Member
Location
Kent
mr_hippo said:
A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict form, the metre is wrong and it does not scan.

It scans fine when I read it. Maybe you've got hiccups?

Here's a quick go at one anyway..
I am a fat bloke with a beard,
some say I'm decidedly weird,
for I ride in to work,
through wind, rain and murk,
and arrive quite unsuitably cheered.
 

Brock

Senior Member
Location
Kent
Sir Hippo they said, is pedantic
He'll argue a point, all semantic
though it's clear all along,
He's really just wrong,
but his ego is just too gigantic.
 

Brock

Senior Member
Location
Kent
A splendid young filly called Arch
put a spring in one lawyerly march.
She eyed up his suit
and asked with a hoot
'How on earth is that held up? with starch?'
 

Pete

Guest
Well - just been posting on a thread about Sussex climbs - so - let me think...

Well, the last time I went for the Beacon,
I felt sure that my front tyre was leaking,
But, 'twas no failure rubbery,
That made me dive for shrubbery,
But the fact that my bladder did weaken...
 

Smeggers

New Member
There is a lawyer called Patrick
Who although is quite geriatric
quite fancied a student
which wasnt so prudent
and now needs help psychiatric
 
Aperitif said:
There was a young panter from Sittingbourne,
whose bib shorts were always getting torn;
From very first light
to the darkness of night,
cycling, just until they were torn.

:biggrin:

Total crap! First time I have looked at a pc since early this morning and the last word of the second line was supposed to have been 'worn'...what a muppet!:biggrin:
 
OP
OP
Panter

Panter

Just call me Chris...
I did wonder........:biggrin:

Hell, it was better than my effort :biggrin:


Some top rhymes there, made me laugh anyway. And thats what Friday should be about, laughter :biggrin:
 

Johnny Thin

New Member
There was a young skater called Mikey
Who, thinking he'd sussed Charlotte's psyche,
Made a figure of eight
Then asked for a date;
She burbled, dumbfounded, "Oh crikey!"
 

Brock

Senior Member
Location
Kent
Johnny Thin said:
There was a young skater called Mikey
Who, thinking he'd sussed Charlotte's psyche,
Made a figure of eight
Then asked for a date;
She burbled, dumbfounded, "Oh crikey!"

nice!

Would suggest 'she retorted with venom 'NOT LIKELY!' for the last line myself, but then I don't know the details of this particular situation :biggrin:
 
OP
OP
Panter

Panter

Just call me Chris...
Best announce a winner I 'spose. seeing as everyones been on the edge of their seats...........

Congratulations to <drum roll please>

Brock, for this effort:

I am a fat bloke with a beard,
some say I'm decidedly weird,
for I ride in to work,
through wind, rain and murk,
and arrive quite unsuitably cheered.

speech, speech...

And second place to Fnaar:

There was a young poet called Dan
Whose poetry just didn't scan.
When askd why 'twas so
He said "I don't know...
But perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I can't resist trying to put as many words into the last line as I possibly...can!

There was a young man on a trike
Who fancied a girl on a bike
But his back wheels got stuck
Bumping over a rut
Which was a bit of a shame, really, as he couldn't catch her up and ask her to go to the pictures with him.

I keep changing my mind so I'll leave it at that for now, but am open to bribes. Paypal to the usual addy please...............
 
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