Funeral Costs! Interesting and,scary.

[Dave7]

Because I have to look into it I have.
1st thing I realised is the need to take family wishes into consideration. They want a crem' with as many friends as possible.
1. The actual coffin. The cheap ones do look very cheap and she definitely deserves better.
2. Once you go down the crem' with friends and family there are things you can't avoid. Yes, you can save 100 here or there but nothing worth bothering about.
3.yes.....it soon mounts up. The pub meal will not cost much.
Let me say, I can afford it and do not begrudge the families wishes/needs..... so this is more conversation, definitely not a whinge.

 

[steveindenmark]

Like David Bowie, I am opting for a "Direct cremation". No service, no funeral, no family and friends. I am happy to be put in a cardboard box and cremated.

My ashes will be returned to my friends and family and scattered on my favourite beach in the summer. Everyone will have to wear shorts and hawaaian shirt. All those who attend will be treated to chicken and chips at my favourite beach side grill. Its a stones throw from where my ashes will be scattered.

It will be far more memorable than a funeral and it is how I would like to be remembered.

 

[Chris S]

1. The actual coffin. The cheap ones do look very cheap and she definitely deserves better.

Unfortunately coffins designed for cremation do look cheap (plastic handles, etc)

 

[Chris S]

it soon mounts up. The pub meal will not cost much.

All funeral costs are be deducted from the estate before inheritance tax is calculated. If you're just above the threshold then you might as well have a more expensive funeral.

 

[T4tomo]

https://www.thefuneraloutlet.com/pr...1V8lrVe9Ljw9nHQ-UAcnmKC2u7IQfM-hoCNqsQAvD_BwE

I quite fancy a funky biodegradable one... maybe the bottle of wine one

 

[gbb]

My FILs funeral was a direct one, driven by a breakdown in his relationship with his wife, . It did not sit well with my wife, she felt cheated, no service, no words, nothing.
I suggested we take flowers to the crematorium and lay them at the time of his cremation, let her feel she did something. As it was, even the cremation time was brought forward so she missed it by the time we had travelled there. Nevertheless, she felt she got 'some' control back and attended something. They have the usual plaque/notice stood in the gardens with respective names on so you have a small focus point to lay flowers.

As we begin this process with mum, her funeral bond will relieve some of the costs but given dads was the same bond value 9 years ago and it gave him a hearse and limo, a few other basics, there's not going to be a lot to have for the same value bond now I fear.

 

[matticus]

Like David Bowie, I am opting for a "Direct cremation". No service, no funeral, no family and friends. I am happy to be put in a cardboard box and cremated.

My ashes will be returned to my friends and family and scattered on my favourite beach in the summer. Everyone will have to wear shorts and hawaaian shirt. All those who attend will be treated to chicken and chips at my favourite beach side grill. Its a stones throw from where my ashes will be scattered.

It will be far more memorable than a funeral and it is how I would like to be remembered.

There's a lot to be said for that. (but be cautions about the shorts/Hawain shirts thing - you might die in January!)
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Back to "conventional" funerals ... Dad has just settled on one of the Co-Op funeral packages. I thought it was pretty reasonable, price/value wise. (hearing about wedding prices in recent years, I had been getting nervous about funeral prices - I've lost a lot of loved ones, but so far never had to actually organise events, payments etc ... :-/

 

[ClichéGuevara]

I really like the idea of what amounts to composting, and the product then being scattered across the local woodland to help other things grow.

https://terramation.uk/

 

[Beebo]

If you pay IHT then reasonable funeral costs inc wake are deductible

 

[T4tomo]

My FILs funeral was a direct one, driven by a breakdown in his relationship with his wife, .

apologies for making light of someones death, but here goes anyway....

....quite some breakdown if it led directly to his funeral poor chap, I'd be keeping well clear of the MIL.

 

[derrick]

Surely it's what the the person wants. not what anyone else wants.

 

[Deleted User]

If you pay IHT then reasonable funeral costs inc wake are deductible

Not really much consolation if it's the missus though is it?

 

[wiggydiggy]

Because I have to look into it I have. 1st thing I realised is the need to take family wishes into consideration. They want a crem' with as many friends as possible.
1. The actual coffin. The cheap ones do look very cheap and she definitely deserves better.
2. Once you go down the crem' with friends and family there are things you can't avoid. Yes, you can save 100 here or there but nothing worth bothering about.
3.yes.....it soon mounts up. The pub meal will not cost much.
Let me say, I can afford it and do not begrudge the families wishes/needs..... so this is more conversation, definitely not a whinge.

I dealt with a funeral last year, it's not quite as simple as the estate pays for everything. A few days after the death we had to pay ourselves £1k+ in expensives towards the direct cremation, it is now 6+ months since then and we are still waiting for the life plan to pay out that was intended to cover that (lost of things delayed that, its another story). Did the deceased leave any instructions on what they want? I had clear instructions, written dated and signed by the deceased, that they wished for a direct cremation with no service. If there was to be a wake that was at our discretion and was to be paid for by that delayed life plan.

You say "I realised is the need to take family wishes into consideration". Have you spoken to them? Are they aware there is a significant cost to these wishes that needs to be shared?

 

[oldwheels]

My wife had the full works and the family would have been outraged with anything less.
We had a very good minister then who made the church ceremony very memorable and this was followed by the burial where there is now an appropriate headstone with space on it for my name in due course.
Afterwards of course there was the funeral tea which was largely a family affair tho' the actual ceremony was attended by many locals outwith the family.
A local undertaker was in charge and I just had to supply information. Everything else was dealt with very efficiently and it was not to my mind too expensive.

My eldest son who died in Aberdeen was cremated but this had to be delayed until his brother could get back from China and it was arranged on a Saturday so that his colleagues could attend and a whole university department turned out.

Edit to add my wife left very specific instructions for her funeral down to which version of a psalm was to be sung. This did cause a little problem as the organist did not know the tune for that version but was able to improvise.

 

[matticus]

Surely it's what the the person wants. not what anyone else wants.

I think "it depends"; after all, which ones will be alive to see the funeral?