Funniest football chants you've heard

[Niall Estick]

I don't know whose fans sang it, but they attempted to taunt Jamie Redknapp about his wife Lousie by chanting 'Does she take it up the arse?'

He turned round to them, shrugged and nodded his head.

That shut 'em up.

 

[Slowgrind]

To the Macarena tune" Wev`e got a cracking player and his name is Ravinelli,
and every time he scores a goal,
he shows us all his Belly,
Hey Ravinelli!

 

[yello]

There are many that have amused me. The Newcastle fans used to sing,

his name is Merindinha,
he's not from Argentina,
he's from Brazil
he's f*cking brill

Player songs are short and usually re-used for different players in a kind of <insert player's name here> kind of way, so invariably a bit ho-hum... but I did like Liverpool's "he's fat, he's round, he bounces on the ground, Sammy Lee, Sammy Lee" and (for some curious reason) Man City's "Mick McCarthy, Mick McCarthy, la la la la la".

My fave fans song has to be (naturally) Leicester's "when you're smiling" ... but they also have one that always makes me smile.... "we've got a song that'll get on your nerves".... repeated quickly, monotone ad infinitum!

 

[PaulB]

"he's fat, he's round, he bounces on the ground, Sammy Lee, Sammy Lee"

It's "his arse drags on the ground" mate, and after Jamie Carragher's coin chucking incident at Highbury, the present day version goes, "he's Scouse, he's sound, he'll tw@ you with a pound, Carragher, Carragher."

 

[Kovu]

I'm not a cheese-rolling fan but a pal of ours is a GP in Burnley. He tells us the Burnley has the highest rate of incestuous childbirth in England. In support of this, rival Blackburn fans have this chant:

"ya mums ya dad
ya das ya mum
ya interbred ya burnley scum"

Works better with leeds scum

 

[monnet]

or Yorkshire scum

 

[monnet]

Two of my favourites are:

Preston's ditty a while back of 'Jon Macken should shag my mum'

And perhaps the best I've heard in a long time, from Celtic of Nakamura, their Japanese wonderboy.

'He eats chow mein, he votes Sinn Fein'.

Genius.

 

[Tony Bell]

Ipswich fans to Norwich fans (to the tune of the Adams family)...
Your sister is your mother
Your father is your brother
they all know one another
The Norwich family.
As mentioned in Pies and Prejudice by Stuart Maconie.

 

[monnet]

And a joke. Tell your footy loving colleagues this and really make them sweat as they fear they have lost their footy knowledge.

Name the three teams out of the league's 92 that have rude words in their name.

1) Arsenal
2) Scunthorpe
3).........







****ing Leeds

 

[Mr Pig]

Years ago a football player called Justin Fashanu came to play for Airdrie.

The chant was:

"He's black, he's gay, he plays for Air-di-ray, Fa-sha-noooo, Fa-sha-nooOOOO..."

 

[longers]

Two of my favourites are:

Preston's ditty a while back of 'Jonny Macken should you can shag my mum'

I've sung that

and meant it.

 

[Mr Phoebus]

I still remember hearing this norty little ditty:

He's big, he's black, he's had a heart attack, Kanu, Kanu.

 

[longers]

I heard that West Brom fans chant or chanted this at Turf Moor:-

"Yeast, Yeast, Yeast, Yeast, Yeast, Yeast etc etc"

Why?

It's the lowest form of life and it's in bread.

 

[dan_bo]

sung by the geordie fans during '90s sunderland derbies:
(to the tune of yellow submarine):

peter reid's got a f***ing monkey's heed
a f***ing monkey's heed
a f***ing monkey's heed

peter reed's
a monkeys heed
he eats bananas
with his feet

etc etc






brilliant.

 

[Bigtallfatbloke]

When I was a foriegn exchange broker in Lndon I had a boss who was a right Bastard...everybody on our desk hated him, he was a outright bully. Once he had arranged for a 'freindly' game of football between the Forwrds desks and what was then called Midland bank. The evening dawned...January, 8pm arctic conditions ...he had hired out Loftus road (QPR) for the night...back then it had astro turf....anyway this minow of a man (the boss) ...let's call him Brian because..well erm...that was his name...had appointed himself as referee for the game and duely got proceedings underway dressed in a brand new ref's kit he had bought for the game....I was in goal. The game was violent in the extreme and the 'ref' had his work cut out, the stadium was empty apart from the two teams under the floodlights. You could hear a pin drop and every single noise echoed around the ground several times.

Two of the ..erm..less celubious (sp?) members of our desk had been down the pub and decided to offer moral support from the back of the empty stand...all I could hear all night was the immortal chant....

"THE REFEREES A self-gratification artist!!" ...."THE REFEREES A self-gratification artist!!"...."THE REFEREES A self-gratification artist!!"...

sang with venom & heart felt hatred echoing around all night in the icy January air...and he could do NOTHING about it....I laughed so much I let 4 past me that night!...The ref was not amused