Getting in touch with relatives you haven't spoken to for decades

[Accy cyclist]

I've been thinking for quite a while about getting in touch with my uncle,who i haven't seen for 36 years. I cycled past his house earlier in the year and nearly knocked on his door,but decided not to. He'll be about 85 years old now,so i'll have to do it sooner rather than later. He and my dad fell out after their mother died over her will. My uncle never married and lived with my grandma. My uncle got all her possessions and quite a bit of money while my dad got zilch. After she died he stayed on in the same council house my grandma moved into in the early 1920's when the houses were built. Come to think of it i bet he could be one of, if not the longest serving council house tenant in Blackburn. Have any of you any suggestions about how i could/should get in touch with him and have you ever got in touch with a relative or friend after not seeing each other for many years?

 

[All uphill]

A year ago I tapped on the door of a distant family member I hadn't had contact with for 30 years. She assured me it was a convenient time, invited me in and we had an ok, but uncomfortable chat for a few minutes, then she ushered me out.

I think we possibly both remembered why we hadn't been in touch for 30 years. We just don't like each other.

@Accy cyclist I'd say go for it. What's the worst that can happen? And you might make someone's day.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

When you do visit don't forget to ask for your dad's share of the legacy.

 

[Dayvo]

If you're the only living relative he's got, of course you should visit him.

It might remind him to leave 'everything' to you! 👍

 

[Drago]

How about start off gently with a crimbo card, and include your address?

 

[Accy cyclist]

I think we possibly both remembered why we hadn't been in touch for 30 years. We just don't like each other.

Yeah,the same might happen with me if i knock on his door.He was a funny devil when me and brother were children. I once knocked on his door late at night many many years ago after i'd been a football match and the coach driver said this was the nearest to my home he could drop me,which was about 4 miles away. My grandma was still alive then,but he wouldn't let me in,telling me to either get a taxi home or walk it. Maybe if i do knock on his door he might be off hand with me.🤔

 

[All uphill]

Yeah,the same might happen with me if i knock on his door.He was a funny devil when me and brother were children. I once knocked on his door late at night many many years ago after i'd been a football match and the coach driver said this was the nearest to my home he could drop me,which was about 4 miles. My grandma was till alive then,but he wouldn't let me in,telling me to either get a taxi home or walk it. Maybe if i do knock on his door he might be off hand with me.🤔

At least you would know then. How about going with a small gift in your hand?

 

[Accy cyclist]

If you're the only living relative he's got, of course you should visit him.

It might remind him to leave 'everything' to you! 👍

Seriously i didn't think about that! But now you've mentioned it,i'll be round there first thing in the morning!

 

[Dayvo]

Yeah,the same might happen with me if i knock on his door.He was a funny devil when me and brother were children. I once knocked on his door late at night many many years ago after i'd been a football match and the coach driver said this was the nearest to my home he could drop me,which was about 4 miles. My grandma was till alive then,but he wouldn't let me in,telling me to either get a taxi home or walk it. Maybe if i do knock on his door he might be off hand with me.🤔

Yeah, but now you're old enough to give him a mouthful back. But bear in mind what I just mentioned upthread. 😉

 

[vickster]

Ask your brother for his advice?

 

[Accy cyclist]

I would like to get in touch if only to find a few things out. I'd like some family history information that only he will know. I have few old photos from my dad's side and would like to know who those in the photos are and anything else about them. My mum's cousin was a wealth of information regarding her side of the family. I could show him a photo and straight away he'd tell you who it was and many things about them,but sadly he died 2 years ago,so there are still bits of my mum's side that need piecing together.

 

[Accy cyclist]

Ask your brother for his advice?

Yes,he also suggested we should go and see him,a few years ago. I'll send him a text message asking what he thinks.🤔

 

[Dayvo]

Yes,he also suggested we should go and see him,a few years ago. I'll send him a text message asking what he thinks.🤔

NO!

Then you'll have to share the spoils with your brother.

Think man, think! 😡

😉😉

 

[Accy cyclist]

NO!

Then you'll have to share the spoils with your brother.

Think man, think! 😡

😉😉

Damn',yes! I'm gonna have to be crafty with this little venture!

 

[vickster]

Are you sure the uncle is still alive, let alone living in the same house If you’ve had no contact for 36 years?