Give me some dialogue from your day

[Elswick Cotterpin]

Out with my nearly three year old grandson this afternoon using the front facing child seat. Passing the local primary\junior school at three as it emptied, saw a young boy and girl riding bicycles just about to exit the school drive.

I thought it was kind of a nice scene, me with grandson and these two riding home after school. The boy smiled at us and slowed to let us pass and called, "We have to wait," to the girl, who scowled and sailed out into the street in front of us and yelled, "I can't be bothered to effing wait."

 

[gbb]

Father in law is bigoted, opinionated, reads the Mail ...and has an opinion, usually a bad one, about everything and everyone...he's a mare .

Today we're visiting, the telly is on and there's a tri race on.
'I know you're a cyclist Col, but they really annoy me, they don't pay any road tax but use the roads, ' ...he mentioned some unfathomable comment about road damage as well.
' I don't need to pay road tax to ride a bike on the road '(yes I know it not the right term but I'm humouring him)...'i already pay it for my car'

'You know what I mean...THEY don't
'Yebbut, they probably do' I responded ...im winding him up of course .
' No, you know what I'm talking about, they slow the traffic up, they cause congestion...AND they close off all the roads for events like this '
'Well...there may be a bit of inconvenience one a year...im sure most people dont mind too much'

He thought for a few seconds...
''You're being argumentative aren't you '
'Who me????',

 

[Lullabelle]

On Sunday we drove to Manchester, booked into a Premier Inn, the guy on the desk gave the usual hi welcome etc.. He told us our room number, 10th floor, gorgeous views of the beach, caught me totally off guard but certainly made me laugh

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

At work, the Doctors have to ask patients to fill in 'Patient Satisfaction Cards' ostensibly to show how nice we are to them, & that we care (we do of course!!)
I guess some of you will have seen, or filled them in?

One ParaMedic told a patient, the other day, about a new card format, & said...........

 

[petek]

Council committee meeting this afternoon.
Clerk: " Next item on the agenda is a letter from a resident complaining about quicksand on the beach."
Committee member.." Can't have been very deep quicksand."

 

[gbb]

I got home from work, my wife in in the garden with a good friend, it all usually degenerates into a load of banter once we're all together...
Me...being deliberately mock chauvinistic...
'Where's my tea then ?'
'Waiting for you to cook it'.... quipped my wife while friend laughed.
I wander into the kitchen...out of their sight and grab a brioche bun.
At the same time and by pure coincidence my wife calls out..
'Get yourself a brioche roll till I get sorted
In less than 2 seconds I appear at the door, brioche in hand, tearing a piece off with my teeth and say...
'Nah thanks...cant stand them' . The timing was just perfect.

Wife's friend found this particularly funny and guffawed and laughed like a gutter

 

[classic33]

Overheard yesterday, on a bus whilst travelling from one hospital to another.

"It's my right (short pause), to behave like this(shorter pause), to behave like this. It's every womans right to behave like an peanut".

Close on half an hour and she never shut up on her phone, bar for the pauses to let who ever was on the other end try and get a word in.

 

[Electric_Andy]

This is not a joke - I seriously heard this conversation in the POUND SHOP:

Husband: "Look at this drinks bottle, we should get it for Kayleigh"
Wife: "Nice, how much is it?"
Husband: "A pound"

 

[petek]

Cafe breakfast today.
Two women chatting.
Woman 1.." Our Craig's got a new girlfriend. She's pregnant. It's not his but he's taking it on."
Woman 2.. " Some of them get pregnant just to find a fella these days."

 

[Lullabelle]

Yesterday I was in the COOP to get some bits, when putting the tv mag through the till she noticed the picture on the front, an advert for Dr Foster.

Lady at till: ooh that's on tonight, it's really good, do you watch it?

Me: no I don't watch dreary miserable programmes.

Think I may have killed that conversation

 

[gbb]

Spent most of the day nursing a packing line that's just been a right so and so, fix one problem, another crops up, work on that and the first problem returns...and so on...and so on, a right tester while everyone is standing round while you try to get it all going consistently.
My colleague who is new and learning the faults and machines assisted where he could but it can be stressful....if you let it.
He turned to me at one stage....
'I must say Col, you don't get het up do you...youre quite relaxed even though it is all being a right swine
' No point getting stressed....and it is stressful in a way but what can you do, just keep smiling, just keep plugging away at it, fuggit, it's a job, not life and death.'

 

[Lullabelle]

This morning I placed a generous order with our regular stationary supplier, my contact called to confirm and asked: do you eat chocolate?
me: you are talking to a female
Him: fair enough, I will pop in a box of celebrations

 

[gbb]

We have 2 grandaughters overnight, their younger sister (5) broke her arm yesterday and needs surgery today.

I 'bottom coughed' without realising this morning.
8 YO grandaughters. ..'grandad, you're gross
Me...'I know, it took years of practice to get this bad'
12 YO grandaughter...

 

[gbb]

My wife via text message with our son's partner (she brings herself and the kids round most Sundays for dinner and I suspect a little respite ...for her anyway )
Zoe...whos been under the weather for a few days, virus probably...
'Feel a bit better today...do you want us for dinner ?'

Wife...sharp as a knife as usual instantly answered...
' I'm sure the kids taste lovely but we'll stick with the pork. But thanks for the offer'

 

[Lullabelle]

When were in town yesterday we walked past a learning centre where young children were spending their Saturday doing more learning instead of being outside playing:

TVC: poor buggers stuck in there on a Saturday
ME: yes but in about 20 years time 1 of us may need surgery and it will most likely be 1 of them doing it.