Give me some dialogue from your day

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Crackle, 16 Dec 2011.

  1. Crackle

    Crackle Pah

    I'll start.

    me to 12 year old son heading out the door to the video shop 800 yards away..
    "How many jackets have you got on?"
    "A hoodie and a fleece" he says, omitting the winter ski gloves and the buff.
    "right; you expecting a storm between here and the video shop then?"
    "Dad, it's freezing out" and with that he went

    me to the Ikea Delivery men:
    "Can you put it upstairs?"
    "I'll check with the driver.......No sorry mate, we're not insured for that. Had a lot of complaints about peoples floors being damaged"
    me to myself, I'm not your mate you miserable bugger. Me and a 14 year old wrestled it up instead.
     
  2. xxmimixx

    xxmimixx Senior Member

    client: how do I do this?
    me: I'll email you some instructions...

    client replies (by email) : how do I do this?
    me: if you look at page 2 - Paragraph 2 !!! there is the answer

    client replies(by email): I dont understand how to do the next step
    me: if you kindly read thoroughly the whole instructions, then just after Paragraph 2 there is Paragraph 3 with the answer!!!!!:cursing::cursing::cursing:
     
  3. ColinJ

    ColinJ Hillfinder General

    ...

    (I haven't spoken to anyone!)
     
  4. OP
    OP
    Crackle

    Crackle Pah

    Not even yourself?

    Me to myself "Yer dozy sod, why did you put that in there, clod"
     
    JennyWr3n likes this.
  5. MossCommuter

    MossCommuter Guru

    Location:
    Irlam (Salford)
    "yeah, i did, i have tyres with studs in"
    "tyres with studs in??!! are you bonkers?"
     
  6. ColinJ

    ColinJ Hillfinder General

    Oh, you don't want to hear what that crazy guy was wittering on about! :blush:
     
  7. RedRider

    RedRider Pulling through

    Him: "The nuns make you pray for your chicken. You know? Everytime you want some you have to pray."
    Me: "Is that a good deal?"
    Him: "Well the chicken is good."
     
    JennyWr3n likes this.
  8. Bicycle

    Bicycle Guest

    Me: What do you call a lizard that says everything twice?

    Elder son: A gecko?

    Me: Yes! Ha ha ha ha, isn't that funny?

    Elder son: No, not really...
     
    JennyWr3n, Hill Wimp, Nihal and 2 others like this.
  9. Titan yer tummy

    Titan yer tummy The little yellow crayon! What's this all about?

    10:22 ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... Princess Royal Hospital can I help you.

    Can you put me through to Surgical 5 ward please. I was discharged yesterday but I need to get arrange a medical certificate for my work.

    Operator "I'm putting you through."

    ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... (about 5mins)

    Male voice "Surgical 5 ward can I help you."

    Me "My name is Mr......" click. brrrr

    10:34 ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... Princess Royal Hospital can I help you.

    Can you put me through to Surgical 5 ward please. I was discharged yesterday but I need to get arrange a medical certificate for my work.

    I'm putting you through.

    ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... (about 5mins)

    "Surgical 5 ward can I help you."

    Me "My name is Mr......" click. brrrr

    10:50 ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... Princess Royal Hospital can I help you.

    Can you put me through to Surgical 5 ward please. I was discharged yesterday but I need to get arrange a medical certificate for my work. Can you monitor call please I'm having trouble getting through.

    I'm putting you through.

    ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... (about 5mins)

    "I cannot keep monitoring your call I have other calls waiting. I will put you through. Hopefully someone will answer in a minute"

    Male voice "Surgical 5 ward can I help you."

    My name is Mr...... click. brrrr


    11:01 ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... Princess Royal Hospital can I help you.

    Can you put me through to Surgical 5 ward please. I was discharged yesterday but I need to get arrange a medical certificate for my work.

    I'm putting you through.

    ring ring, ring ring, ring ring.......... (about 5mins)

    Female voice "Surgical 5 ward can I help you."

    "My name is Mr. TyT I was discharged after my hernia operation yesterday could I arrange a medical certificate for my employer."

    "No problem I'll post it to you"

    "Thank you"
     
    JennyWr3n, Maverick Goose and PBB like this.
  10. TVC

    TVC Living La Mala Vida

    Me: 'Can I have 50 samosas, and £10 worth of mixed savories, I'll pick them up on the 27th - oh and chutneys and pickles too.'

    Him: 'Cerainly Sir'


    That's my contribution to the family party sorted.
     
  11. Zoiders

    Zoiders New Member

    Location:
    Ice Station Zebra
    "And then he kept coming round and knocking on the window waving a bag with an ounce of skunk in it which is a really shady thing to do as he knows I am trying to give it up..."
     
  12. gbb

    gbb Legendary Member

    Location:
    Peterborough
    Bear in mind i havnt been at my current employers long...
    After some small talk with a newish face, i asked...
    'You didn't used to work at salvesens did you ?'
    'No...'
    'Funny, your names slightly unusual, it rings a bell somewhere in my past...Juniper, its not very common'
    'Ah, you're talking about Wayne ^_^ '

    Doh...err sorry, remind me, whats your name ? :blush:^_^
     
  13. col

    col Veteran

    Me: Wish some one would dip their bloody lights.
     
    152l2 likes this.
  14. Doseone

    Doseone Veteran

    Location:
    Brecon
    Me: So what was the nature of Mrs xxxxxx's complaint?
    Girl I was talking to: She told me we were s**t and she would never use us again
     
  15. swee'pea99

    swee'pea99 Legendary Member

    Me: "...sorry, but where is New Cross?"
    Him: "It's SE..."
    Me: "No, sorry, no way. SE anything is a two hour round trip, and then some. I wasn't looking forward to an hour to Tottenham to pick up something I paid to have delivered two days ago, but so it goes.... But SE means the Blackwall Tunnel and upwards of two hours and I just don't have time for it."
    Him: "Well it'll have to be Monday then."
    Me: "But I told you, they leave at the end of tomorrow and they won't be back till the middle of January."
    Him: "Well I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do..."
     
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