Give me some dialogue from your day

[Mad Doug Biker]

Last night

Me: "...So it was the 12th built out of 19"

Them: "No, it was the 11th.
092 - 110, it is number 103"

Me: "92 still existed too, count it!"


This is the level of intellect I have to deal with sometimes... 🤦‍♂️

 

[Chris S]

"Please do not fasten your seat belts as this plane is still refuelling."

 

[ColinJ]

"Please do not fasten your seat belts as this plane is still refuelling."

"... and it might catch fire, so you need to be able to disembark quickly!"

 

[fossyant]

Yesterday.

Teams Meeting, about re-approving Uni Courses.

Me, "If you recruit students to target, then we are fine, if you don't the programme isn't viable. You've missed target by a mile the last two years and it's not going to improve" (Government Policy changes on International Students). The courses are vulnerable due to over reliance on International students. Bang, penny dropped with the group. I may have upset a lot of people, but I'm only telling it as it is. Now, either I am a genius, or totally thick, but how can you have three staff to teach about 20 students ?

 

[Andy in Germany]

On a fairly empty bus yesterday, A woman got on using her speakerphone and sat down with the speaker still running. The man across the aisle from me turned around and said, "Why don't you turn it up a bit more so we can all join in?"

The speakerphone was immediately turned off, and we travelled in peace for the rest of the journey.

 

[markemark]

"Is this the queue?" said to me by a woman in a pub in Edinburgh. I told her to just stand and the bar and wait lol.

You say that but I’ve noticed some pubs sometimes get queues to order. Not that often but seen it a few times. Think it’s a younger generational thing starting to creep in.

 

[Andy in Germany]

You say that but I’ve noticed some pubs sometimes get queues to order. Not that often but seen it a few times. Think it’s a younger generational thing starting to creep in.

Young people these days, queuing politely to get their drinks...

 

[markemark]

Young people these days, queuing politely to get their drinks...

It’s not efficient as the bar is spread across and it causes pinch points for payment and makes it harder to get past.

 

[Electric_Andy]

I think the queue in larger pubs should be like it is in banks and in Primark. It prevents obnoxious people from barging in front

 

[mistyoptic]

On a river cruise currently.

Passenger, to crew member: “when we go up in the lock, what raises the boat? Is there,like, a platform underneath to push it up?”

Crew member: “I don’t know sir, you’d need to ask the captain”

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Young people these days, queuing politely to get their drinks...

Many UK pubs these days are often so empty (sadly) that you’ll never need to queue

 

[gbb]

Grandaaaad, ...can we go to the fair ?

I'm not generally bothered and certainly not excited about them but, the weather's nice, girls have been good...

'Yeah, c'mon then'
'For real ?'
'Errrr, yeah, better get your shoes on'

Two girls...

 

[gbb]

Shopping in Asda, usual day, see the usual.people, one guy i always remember because he looks remarkably like a former neighbour .. but I've never spoken to this fella in Asda...and yet there's something familiar ?

We happened across each other in an aisle and he said something , small talk ensued and I said something about a former workplace...Salvesens. His face lit up...
'Aha, i knew I'd seen you somewhere, I'm Austin, i used to work in the fish factory'

'Bloody hell, that must be 30 years ago !!!'

A nice reminiscence followed between us, always nice to meet people from years ago, it was a good friendly place to work.

 

[Chris S]

A man was waiting in a hotel lobby. His wife walked in and asked him how she looked. He said, "Beautiful my dear, it must have taken you ages."

 

[Ripple]

From the same person:
"You have a vein but no blood".
"Awww I can see there's a lot of blood" (happy voice).
Place of the conversation - phlebotomy suite in the hospital. Not annual meeting of vampires.