Give me some dialogue from your day

[ColinJ]

At yesterday evening's pre-Christmas get-together:

Boyfriend of stepdaughter: "So, you enter lots of competitions...how do you do with that?"

ColinJ: "There are basically 2 types of competition - random and skill. The former are usually small prizes, with winners selected at random. I win those every now and then. I won a couple in the same month last year, but nothing since; it is time for another one, I reckon! The latter type of competition is my favourite. The prizes are usually bigger and I am good at them. I have won 4 or 5 of those, with prizes of £1,000-£2,000. 'In a maximum of 50 words, tell us how you...', that kind of thing."

I just got home and checked my email... "Congratulations, ColinJ, you have won a £50 Amazon voucher in our competition!"

 

[Shortfall]

Male workmate to me "You'd make a good woman".

There is context but I'm just going to leave it hanging there so you can read into it whatever you want 😘

 

[mistyoptic]

On the river cruise at breakfast.

“Do you have any Marmite?”

“What is marmite?” Described brown, sticky , tasty spread to waitress.

“We have Nutella, would that be alright?”

 

[Pat "5mph"]

“What is marmite?” Described brown, sticky , tasty spread to waitress.

You should have described marmite as spreadable beef stock.
They probably would not have had it, but the waitress would have gone

 

[Webbo2]

You should have described marmite as spreadable beef stock.
They probably would not have had it, but the waitress would have gone

But it’s not beef stock it’s yeast extract.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

But it’s not beef stock it’s yeast extract.

Soz, I got confused with Bovril ...
Both Marmite and Bovril smell the same to me

 

[mistyoptic]

Soz, I got confused with Bovril ...
Both Marmite and Bovril smell the same to me

No, no, no!

Bovril is wonderful, Marmite is the devil’s snot

 

[Chris S]

Yesterday afternoon some anti-Israel protesters were picketing my local Lidl. I asked them if they were being sponsored by Aldi.

 

[EckyH]

Me (after a walk in the lunch break): "Out there was nasty east wind, very nasty. And obnoxious!"
An acquaintance: "Most of it blows past..."

E.

 

[Chris S]

I've just remembered something that happened to me on the way home from the pub last Saturday night.

A young woman stopped me and asked me if I knew the approximate time. She then asked me how to get to a main road that she must have walked down to get to where she was. She then asked me if I knew how long it would take to get to a specific number on that road.

The next morning I Googled the address. It was a school that would have been closed at 11 o'clock on a Saturday night.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Wakes up

"Oh, is that the time?"

Rolls over and goes back to sleep.

 

[mistyoptic]

I've just remembered something that happened to me on the way home from the pub last Saturday night.

A young woman stopped me and asked me if I knew the approximate time. She then asked me how to get to a main road that she must have walked down to get to where she was. She then asked me if I knew how long it would take to get to a specific number on that road.

The next morning I Googled the address. It was a school that would have been closed at 11 o'clock on a Saturday night.

Do you still have your wallet?

 

[Chris S]

Do you still have your wallet?

Yes. I thought she might be trying to distract me at the time.

Looking back she used educated grammar and had a neutral accent. The only thing that I can think of is that I was being recorded and she was a journalist or campaigner trying to expose sexual harassment.

 

[annedonnelly]

A member of staff in a charity shop to her colleague: "Come and look at this. You'll love it"
Her colleague, looking into a display box of jewellery: "Oh, it's hideous, isn't it?"

They asked me to take a look. Me: "Oh I had one of those, it was my grandma's".

They were horrified by it - a rabbit's foot brooch. I remember lots of ladies of a certain generation wearing them attached to their best coat.

 

[Ianonabike]

Male workmate to me "You'd make a good woman".

There is context but I'm just going to leave it hanging there so you can read into it whatever you want 😘

Never too late for a spoiler...