Give me some dialogue from your day

[Saluki]

That's good to hear- I Seem To Recall.

Thank you I tried loads of things in my head but just couldn't get to that one

 

[gbb]

I forgot this from the other day. .arrived at work at the same time'ish as my young colleague. As we're walking to the main entrance, two girls are greeting each other with a hug by the door (I think one had just finished nights and they hadnt seen each other for a while).
I turned to my young colleague...
'You NEVER greet me like that'

Both of us...

 

[HarryTheDog]

work colleague: Are you kids getting you anything for fathers day?
me: Probably not unless I'm paying for it.
work colleague: My daughter has got me an unusual gift, she has booked me in for a Colonic Irrigation
me: yes that is unusual.
me ( thinking) why is he telling me this?

 

[marknotgeorge]

While taking Drama Queen home from Air Cadets, a particular song starts playing on Spotify. DQ starts dancing in the passenger seat. A few seconds later...
Me: That's enough of that!
I press skip, and the next song comes on. A few seconds later...
Me: You can't do the Macarena to Three Lions!

 

[Maverick Goose]

International Society for Third Sector Research, Google says so and Google is never wrong.

GIYF!

 

[fimm]

[QUOTE 4325549, member: 43827"]"I know that it's not safe to live on my own any more, but it's very hard for me to admit that I need to live in a nursing home"

My 89 year old father.......[/QUOTE]

 

[colly]

Neighbour: Have you seen that stuff growing in the field ?

Me: Yep. Looks like japanese Knotweed to me ?

Neighbour: We'll have to get something done about it.

Me: Definitely.

Neighbour: I'll go out later and cut it down.

Me: Good Lord no don't do that. It'll make things worse.

Neighbour: Why's that then?

Me: Well as I understand it, if you cut it down all the bits you can't clear up will just root and we'll end up with more of the stuff.
Also what you cut down will have to be burnt, you can't stuff it in your bin. I think it will have to be a weedkiller job. Probably
over a few years too.

Neighbour: ..............................

Neighbour: I'll cut it down then yes?

Me: But that will make it worse.

Neighbour: ..............................

Neighbour: OK. .............................I'll just cut a bit down then.

Me: sigh...................................

 

[midlife]

Don't you have to tell the environment agency and the landowner about Japanese Knotweed?

Shaun

 

[gbb]

Neighbour: Have you seen that stuff growing in the field ?

Me: Yep. Looks like japanese Knotweed to me ?

Neighbour: We'll have to get something done about it.

Me: Definitely.

Neighbour: I'll go out later and cut it down.

Me: Good Lord no don't do that. It'll make things worse.

Neighbour: Why's that then?

Me: Well as I understand it, if you cut it down all the bits you can't clear up will just root and we'll end up with more of the stuff.
Also what you cut down will have to be burnt, you can't stuff it in your bin. I think it will have to be a weedkiller job. Probably
over a few years too.

Neighbour: ..............................

Neighbour: I'll cut it down then yes?

Me: But that will make it worse.

Neighbour: ..............................

Neighbour: OK. .............................I'll just cut a bit down then.

Me: sigh...................................

Reminds me of a conversation with a guy at work re buying a bike, a shortened version...
'Col, I want to buy a bike, whaddaya think about those £99 jobs in blah blah'
'Waste of money mate, they're heavy, cheap MTB, probably horrible to ride...try and spend at least £130 on a hybrid and you'll maybe get something that'll last and ride better'
'Ok, what do you suggest ?'
I spent maybe half an hour talking about he pros and cons of bikes, where to go, quality etc etc .
'Ok...i'll try and get one for a bit more money then.'

1 week later, he rides it to work..
'Hey Col, waddaya think ...proudly showing me his £99 bike from blah blah.

 

[colly]

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

 

[ianrauk]

Work legs.... stop complaining... it's only one more hill...

 

[gbb]

Couple for me today...
I was relating something that happened to my work colleagues...
'So I picked up my wife from school....'
Colleague butted in...
'Any idea how bad that sounds ?'


Later, i wandered through the offices...
'Hey Col, got some good news for you !'
'Oh yeah ?'
'You're £50 richer, you won the bonus ball'

 

[gbb]

Banter...
The PC that allows comms between all the machines has stopped playing ball, you can't click certain icons. Weve been playing for an hour, looking at files, etc etc and we're struggling.
Two colleagues are with me, we're all putting our ten penneth in.
Me...
'Ive found the label file but its not how I remember it in previous versions (I was used to 2 or 3 versions earlier)
'Just click it' goaded one colleague.
'No...I dont recognise it, I don't know what it'll do'
'Go on, what can go wrong'
'Nooo, IT will be along, let them take the risks'
'There was a time when he'd have tried that'..said colleague two to colleague one.
This has been going on a while and I can feel myself getting agitated, its wierd.
'Sod off, I ain't clicking it'
'Bottle merchant...there was a time when you had a pair...wasn't there Dave ?'
'Yep, he's lost it, no balls'
Its getting to me......theyre getting to me! The barstewards

'Fark off...you press it'
'Hear that Dave, hes lost it , he's finally broken '

All of us...

 

[gbb]

Sorry broken English speaking Indian lady from call centre, I haven't had an accident in the last three years, neither has anyone else in the family, so your slave employers in the UK can't make any money out of me.

In a similar vein, Indian sounding gentleman call centre caller to my wife...
'Can I speak to Mrs ×××××× please'
My wife is now resorting to all sorts for fun, from mock deafness to the following..
'No, I'm sorry.....she died last night'
Silence followed for a couple seconds...then service was resumed...
'Oh I'm sorry....(hesitation).....is there someone else from the family I can talk to then ?'
'NO THERE ISN'T....HOW RUDE ARE YOU '...with an exceedingly angry mock voice...at the same time looking at me and ..?

Edited to say...bogger, i thought i was in dialogue of the day..

MOD EDIT - You are now !

 

[ColinJ]

Neighbour: Have you seen that stuff growing in the field ?

Me: Yep. Looks like japanese Knotweed to me ?

Neighbour: We'll have to get something done about it.

Me: Definitely.

Neighbour: I'll go out later and cut it down.

Me: Good Lord no don't do that. It'll make things worse.

Neighbour: Why's that then?

Me: Well as I understand it, if you cut it down all the bits you can't clear up will just root and we'll end up with more of the stuff.
Also what you cut down will have to be burnt, you can't stuff it in your bin. I think it will have to be a weedkiller job. Probably
over a few years too.

Neighbour: ..............................

Neighbour: I'll cut it down then yes?

Me: But that will make it worse.

Neighbour: ..............................

Neighbour: OK. .............................I'll just cut a bit down then.

Me: sigh...................................

Perhaps you should just have told the neighbour that causing it to spread can result in a fine of up to £5,000 and/or 2 years in prison (LINK)!