Have I made the right move?

[luckyfox]

Long story short I'm going from full time self employed to employed/part time self employed. One of my companies made me a generous offer and I have verbally accepted pending pen to paper.

The work is doable, im good at it, it's a full time, permanent, good job which i know a lot of people struggle to find, it's an ok environment etc. My issue is with the people. I've been through a lot lately so I am a bit bruised but they are really horrible. It's a warehouse with an office so if im not being wolf whistled at the office girls are bitching. Some of the warehouse guys are ok but the women sit and bitch all day long. I actually moved into a side office because it was so loud and i couldn't work. They are relentless. I've worked here for a year self employed & i don't mix with them. I never do when i have a contract but in some places it's easier to get along with people. Here they went through a nasty takeover which left the staff bitter and mostly twisted. I came in to sort the finances and given the nepotism and the issues around the take over, my presence was not appreciated. Well the bosses appreciated me and that's why they have asked me to stay on.

I am made of stronger stuff and it does help to know i'm not like them but right now, feeling a bit sensitive, I don't know if this is the right place for me. You can't pick who you work with but being self employed doesn't half make it a bit easier.

I don't like when i feel like this but any kind words would be appreciated

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

I vote with Rocky on this one. Keep as far away as you can from the negative people and never rise to the bait. It's good you have made your own little work space.

As Rocky says - no boats have been burned.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

what is more important to you

• money
• your work environment and how you feel at the end of a long day

I have been there, done that. I suspect most of us have.
The best place I ever worked at was my lowest wage where people respected you, respected your space and anytime between 12pm and 2pm the first words would be "are you on your lunch?" If you answered yes and they expected an honest answer, they would ask when you were due to finish your lunch and come back then. When I left there I more than doubled my salary. Sadly I very quickly learnt that I lost a lot of friendship and office laughter and good times as well. My stress levels went through the roof and it took a long time to find a place I liked working in again.

Ask yourself what you want from the job and take it from there.

 

[luckyfox]

Thanks peeps.
Today an email has been sent round regarding use of the toilet...thats how petty it is. I tried to send a reasonable reply which then got a horrible reply.
My reasons to go employed are; mortgage, stability, paid holidays..

All this rubbish I face with them on a daily basis is quite overwhelming. I openly admit im sensitive atm but from day one I knew not to interact with them. They've been like this with a few people, whom have left or like me, have as little to do with them as possible. Normally i wouldnt care but it's getting to me. Honestly the only reason to stay is the wage, which after tax is still a really good amount. I have tried, i've baked, i've been on one night out- which was horrendous. All day long they stand and bitch, today which seems petty to go into, was nasty, just nasty. I'm just not strong enough to deal with this. I walked away from a job like this before and regretted it until I heard the other people in a similar situation had a really really nasty time of it.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

Is a stressful, petty employment scene going to actually help you at the moment?
If you can work out how to turn your back on the bitching then go for it. I managed it for a while, but it got to me in the end and I am so glad I left...

 

[vickster]

Based on what you say, either stay self employed on more money or look elsewhere (if that's feasible). I assume the boss is aware of the atmosphere and indeed encourages such a culture?

I changed jobs, it's not really worked out Considering going back to old place as a contractor, less benefits but more money (even taking into account holidays etc) and flexibility to move around

Gripes about toilets, the state of the kitchen etc seem to happen everywhere so I wouldn't base a decision on that!

 

[luckyfox]

Is a stressful, petty employment scene going to actually help you at the moment?
If you can work out how to turn your back on the bitching then go for it. I managed it for a while, but it got to me in the end and I am so glad I left...

No it's not. But not having money or stressing about being self employed seems worse. Maybe it's a lesson. I can't win them over, I can't change them so I can only change myself. Whatever I say is pointless so I need to find coping mechanisms to rise above it. Doing so will help build my strength, make it easier and I can find a better place to work with this good wage on my CV...

In theory thats how it should work!

 

[Pale Rider]

Thanks peeps.
Today an email has been sent round regarding use of the toilet...thats how petty it is. I tried to send a reasonable reply which then got a horrible reply.
My reasons to go employed are; mortgage, stability, paid holidays..

All this rubbish I face with them on a daily basis is quite overwhelming. I openly admit im sensitive atm but from day one I knew not to interact with them. They've been like this with a few people, whom have left or like me, have as little to do with them as possible. Normally i wouldnt care but it's getting to me. Honestly the only reason to stay is the wage, which after tax is still a really good amount. I have tried, i've baked, i've been on one night out- which was horrendous. All day long they stand and bitch, today which seems petty to go into, was nasty, just nasty. I'm just not strong enough to deal with this. I walked away from a job like this before and regretted it until I heard the other people in a similar situation had a really really nasty time of it.

The situation wouldn't do for me and I don't consider myself particularly sensitive.

Are you born and bred in County Durham?

People in the North East are known to be friendly, but they can be cliquey and hostile to outsiders.

I've been here more than 20 years, but still get an occasional sneery: "You're not from round here, are you?"

On t'other hand, the locals are also robust, upfront, and not easily offended.

I've had some success by responding in kind.

A sharp response to a colleague, which down south would have the person reaching for the grievance procedure, can work well.

Or at least, the other person accepts you are not interested and having none of it.

Put more simply, when they are making a loud noise, tell them equally loudly to shut the f*** up.

 

[luckyfox]

Based on what you say, either stay self employed on more money or look elsewhere (if that's feasible). I assume the boss is aware of the atmosphere and indeed encourages such a culture?

I changed jobs, it's not really worked out Considering going back to old place as a contractor, less benefits but more money (even taking into account holidays etc) and flexibility to move around

Gripes about toilets, the state of the kitchen etc seem to happen everywhere so I wouldn't base a decision on that!

The 'boss' left a few months ago for the same reason. There is an area manager who is aware but sticks his head in the sand, when he's on site it's not the same atmosphere. There's no one currently 'in charge' here atm. Ideally I would like the wage slips so I can get my mortgage/car sorted. It's hard to do all of that self employed and i'm tired of all the paperwork with it. We spoke about me staying self employed on a long term contract but given the hours I give this place it was harder to take on other work and I worried about that with the tax man...

The email today just pushed me over the edge, it openly insinuated I had left the bathroom in a mess. I pointed out customers use the bathroom and I've often had to clean up after them, which isnt nice so maybe we should get a lock for the door.. I was accused of lying... it's just too petty to get into. Who does that? I wouldn't normally care and just let them get on with it but it was emailed out to others and because the ones included are 'in the gang' it was a blatantly pointing me out. They then made a point of talking loudly about it and even getting a plunger...Seriously don't need it. Everyone else has left because of this stupidity.

 

[Eagone]

Stay strong and rise above the wasters in the the other office.
They sound petty, possibly jealous and just trouble makers. (we have them in all companies), they will never better themselves but are always the first to gripe about those that do.
You get these in all companies as per one of your previous roles you mentioned.
Don't let them get the better of you or the upper hand, it will make them worse, I keep my distance from all the idiots in our company and have been rewarded by promotion many times while others are still in their original position 10 years on. You have obviously been rewarded for your efforts and are a far better person.
Keep a moderate distance from people like this, ensure your bosses can see there is a distance - one of the reasons they probably hired you.

Be pleasant but loose no sleep over these fools, mix in different circles, show your a different class!

Best of luck!

 

[Eagone]

Oh and never ever reply to any stupid f**king emails like that, keep them in a folder called 'possible tribunal data' for the future!

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Bullying in the work place is illegal. Collect all the evidence (written contemporaneous notes - like a diary for the verbal and e-mails for the non verbal) when you have a folder full forward it to the Area Manager copies to those above with a covering letter. Your lawyer knows the procedure

 

[cd365]

Wow, sounds like a horrid place to work.
There is bullying going on and there is behaviour which I thought had gone out with the ark, wolf whistles in the work place.
I would have a quiet word with management, explain that you would like to take the job full time but you have concerns. Explain about the wolf whistling, normally easily dealt with and then explain about the bitchiness, use that email as an example of the sort of harassment that goes on. If they can't deal with it, walk away.

 

[luckyfox]

Bullying in the work place is illegal. Collect all the evidence (written contemporaneous notes - like a diary for the verbal and e-mails for the non verbal) when you have a folder full forward it to the Area Manager copies to those above with a covering letter. Your lawyer knows the procedure

I made a formal complaint last year and forwarded the blatant bullying but nothing got done by the area manager. I have since worked out a better way of dealing with that person.

This is why I feel I made a mistake.

 

[cd365]

I made a formal complaint last year and forwarded the blatant bullying but nothing got done by the area manager. I have since worked out a better way of dealing with that person.

This is why I feel I made a mistake.

Raise it to a higher level until something is done!