Hell Rides

[Bollo]

Not a new and novel destination for The Fridays (Night Ride to Hades?), but a chance for you to moan about those rides that you wish you'd never started.

For the weather alone I'd consider this year's ride to Stages 4 and 5 of the Tour to be a candidate (rain, wind, cobbles, distance) but it had an epic quality that saves it from the bin.

Not last night's ride however. Bolletta ice-skates a couple of times a week in Amazingstoke, so I usually shove the bike in the back of the car and go for an hour or so's trundle out in the countryside.

Except that this time one of my pedals bearing seized (my own fault - they're very old speedplays where the greasing port cover is stuck. They were being replaced next pay day) that caused the spindle to unscrew from the crank. I try tightening the spindle back on the crank with my not-quite-the-right-size mini-spanner from my multitool. No good - I'm riding home on one leg - about 6 miles.

At least it was sunny? No - it was a thunderstorm. The hail was only short-lived though.

Hilly? Yes. Localised heavy flooding? Also yes.

Any other problems? I'd tried a short cut through what I thought was still a country road, but was informed by some snooty woman that "it was private". I didn't see any signs either going or on the way back, but I wasn't going to argue for the sake of it. Add another mile for that detour.

I knew there was a road closed to traffic for drainage works on my route back, but that it was navigable with the odd dismount. But on this occasion the road was completely blocked by digging equipment and a large tipper truck that was marginally wider than the road. The alternative was another 2 mile detour, with half a mile or so on the A339, an ugly road for cyclists at the best of times.

Only heroes can save us! And those heroes were from Clancy Docwra. I explained my situation to the lads on site (I might have started crying) and they opened the barriers and moved a few things around to get me through, which they really didn't have to do. Thanks lads!

I'm sure this is an easy one to beat, so get telling your tails of woe.

 

[tiermat]

One I have recounted elsewhere, but is worth repeating, I think.

I used to work in Stevenage, and had digs way out towards Royston. The people I worked for actually told me, after I had been there nearly a month, that I was working too many hours, so if I came in at 07:00 (as was my want) I HAD to go "home" at 15:00. No arguments from me, as it was approaching summer and meant I could get more miles in.

So one June day I got back to the digs at about 15:20, got changed and jumped on the bike, intending to get ~50miles in before dark.

10 miles in I got the first puncture of the day, no problem, swapped the tube and carried on.

30 miles in came the second puncture, ok second, and last spare tube used and soon on my way again.

At 45 miles, as it was starting to get dark, came puncture number three, out came the PRK. Couldn't find the hole in either tube without some water (and my bottles were both empty). It had been a dry week or so, hence no puddles to use as a water bath. As It was fiddling about at the side of the road trying to find the hole (now fully dark), my front light failed. After about 30 minutes of trying, and failing to fix the problem, I gave up and decided I had a 5 mile walk back to the digs.

I set off, pushing the bike, but was just about crippled after 1/2 mile ( I had Nike MB101 shoes one, not the best for walking), so decided I would ride on the flat, rear, and just risk killing the rear wheel(I had put the tyre and flat tube on).

I managed to coax the light to work for about 5 mins at a time, luckily I knew the roads and it was a cloudless night so I had some moonlight to see by.

I eventually got back about 3 hours later than I intended. The only good thing to come out of it was that I didn't totally trash the wheel, a bit of attention from a file got it back into a rideable state. The tyre, and tube, were toast though.

Shortly afterwards I bought a new, more reliable light and better tyres...