Help with funeral suit misery

[wafter]

Unfortunately I have a funeral to attend in a week or so and as usual find myself struggling for anything appropriate to wear.

No specific guidance on dress code has been issued so I assume it's pretty much standard fare. I do have an old mid-ish grey birdseye suit that's served me well, although the fabric's not hugely appropriate and the fit not great as I've lost a bit of weight and wasn't particularly savvy when I bought it.

I've just bought a Hugo Boss suit off ebay specifically for this event, but predictably it's too big (semi-intentionally in a desperate bid to get something without ridiculous skinny trousers, while the waist's coming up nearly a couple of inches larger than stated and a load more of the measurements are larger than ideal / other garments I have).

So, the choices I have are:

Appropriate fabric but too big and quality not great; makes me feel like 18yr old Darren in his £59.99 Asda suit on his first day in sales:

Better fitting and less-inappropriate colours although mis-matched colours and somewhat inappropriate form (dark blue pinstripe jacket with peak lapels which seems a bit showy), darkish blue wool trousers:

Less showy jacket with more reserved lapels, but a bit casual with it's tweedyness and brown buttons:

Finally, wholly inappropriate light blue colouring (tbh this would be better for a summer wedding) but IMO the best fit and the most cohesive of the lot:

If I didn't have the opportunity to return the recently-bought grey suit I'd probably just wear that as it's ostensibly the least-inappropriate, and just take the hit on it looking a bit crap. As it stands I'm not keen on keeping it though as it seems like a waste of money.

Equally I'm not really sold on any of the other options as being acceptable..

If I turned up to your funeral in any of the above, which would make you least likely to burst from your coffin and punch me in the nuts for my lack of respect?

Thanks

 

[wakemalcolm]

Well, you've definitely nailed the headgear.

For me, unless there's been specific guidance from the family, 3 and 4 are a nono.

Whichever one of 1 & 2 is the most comfortable (& has the most pocket capacity for securing ham sandwiches in).

 

[EckyH]

I do have an old mid-ish grey birdseye suit that's served me well, although the fabric's not hugely appropriate and the fit not great as I've lost a bit of weight and wasn't particularly savvy when I bought it.

This one. People changes in shape and size and I'm sure everybody at that funeral has other things to consider than how your suit fits.

If I turned up to your funeral in any of the above, which would make you least likely to burst from your coffin and punch me in the nuts for my lack of respect?

The respect you show to the dead is that you're attending the funeral and bearing the person in remembrance.

What if something really bad happened on your way to the funeral and you are the only person around who saves a life of another person with your jacket, so that you'll have to wear anything or miss the funeral while trying to get an appropriate other jacket?

E.

 

[mistyoptic]

Option 2

In reality, the fact that you have turned up to pay your respects is far more important than the shade of your suit

 

[Webbo2]

The last funerals I’ve been to, the better dressed men turn up in a suit and tie colour doesn’t seem that important. The older man the darker suit tends to be with matching black or navy overcoat.
I have navy Prince of Wales check suit which is so dark it’s hard to see the check unless your close up. I usually wear this. However it hard a mark on the back and needed cleaning when I needed to attend another funeral so I wore a navy silk and linen suit. These are both 3 piece suits so any problem with trousers is hidden.
I tend to avoid wearing a bright pocket square though.

 

[Elswick Cotterpin]

Number 2, also. But you're overthinking it. People tend to wear whatever they want, at least the last couple of funerals I attended.

 

[postman]

I also need a suit for a wedding in September,A place in Leeds ,Slaters is my destination.First suit since 1978 i kid you not.I got married again in June 1990 and hired one.The last funeral i went to,the family traced me through Facebook,my old cycling mate Seacroft Dave as we called him.Wear something red if you can,he was a Liverpool supporter,as a cyclist i wore my Caisse D'epargne red and yellow cycling jersey,his family loved it.

 

[markemark]

You don’t need to wear a suit to a funeral. Unless directed to wear something specific wear dark clothes but smart. A jacket and shirt if you have one but a dark shirt and a set trousers if not. Your presence is required not your wardrobe.

 

[spen666]

..... But you're overthinking it. People tend to wear whatever they want, at least the last couple of funerals I attended.

This - last funerals I went to even close family of deceased did not wear suits and ties.

Wear what you feel comfortable in, and do not over think it. The family of deceased will be pleased you've attended, they will not be judging your attire

 

[Speicher]

Well, you've definitely nailed the headgear.

For me, unless there's been specific guidance from the family, 3 and 4 are a nono.

Whichever one of 1 & 2 is the most comfortable (& has the most pocket capacity for securing ham sandwiches in).

I agree, 1 or 2, which ever is the most comfortable.

 

[nogoodnamesleft]

Last funeral I attended I wore dark jeans and a dark canvas rugby shirt (no tie). Wasn't an issue. So a lot probably depends on the family and their attitude.

 

[simongt]

I still have the grey pinstripe suit I bought in the late 80's for work. Still fits and is in good nick, so it's my 'any semi or formal occasion' wear.
As my late sister's funeral is coming up very soon and her instructions are for a happy occasion and dress is 'bright & blingy', I'll be wearing the suit plus a cerise red shirt, no tie.. That should keep her happy - !

 

[kynikos]

#4 - it's the best fit and looks good. The Victorian age is long gone...

 

[Shearwater Missile]

Wear what you are happy in. I went to a funeral in Feb and whilst there was no guidance there was everything. The daughter of my best friend, who`s funeral it was, wore bright colours. Nobody will judge you or at least they should`nt. You are paying your respects.

 

[DCLane]

Option 2, as others have suggested, white shirt, dark tie, polished dark shoes.