Hit head on tonight by Dozy Bird

[J4CKO]

"Phasianus colchicus" or "Daftus Twattus"
I was on my way home doing about 19 mph when from a hedgerow in Ollerton (Cheshire) A sizeable Pheasant decided that it was time to cross, the road having been empty for some time in either direction, they arent the brightest creatures, even compared to your average Tarmac lorry driver.

It flew up aiming in front of me but hadn't anticipated my massive velocity, used only to the average dawdling Lycra clad carbon roadie, it flew up and hit my chest and got tangled between my arm and chest, flapping about, It was upside down by this time ejecting poop down my arm, I slowed enough and stabilised my trajectory enough to move my arm to eject the confused fowl, it dropped onto the floor and reset its up and down, then flew of "Giving me evils" and squaking like fook which it continued for some time like an angry driver, it seems Pheasants dislike cyclists as well.


So, I survived without an off, just some organic material on my Altura Night Vision (now Sh1te Vision) and the bird survived though next time I will, if given chance restrain then throttle it and ride home with it strapped to my rack, I will then present it to my father in law who shoots Pheasant and tell him using a Gun is for amateurs, a Cannon-dale is what you need.

 

[Jake]

rofl

 

[Clive Atton]

When a bird shat on my head I immediately told her to move out and never speak to me again.

 

[Crackle]

Good story

 

[Sittingduck]

Priceless

 

[snapper_37]

head on tonight by a Dozy Bird

Yeah ... whatever

 

[downfader]

A small holder on another forum I used to frequent said that (in England atleast) if you hit and injure or kill a game bird you're supposed to report it, and you're not allowed to take it home to eat.

Next time - get a grip on the lil sods neck and give it a quick whip! Then stuff it in your bag and dont tell anyone. Free meal.

 

[hackbike 6]

As you were wearing Hi_Viz I reckon that was a SMIDSY!

 

[snapper_37]

A small holder on another forum I used to frequent said that (in England atleast) if you hit and injure or kill a game bird you're supposed to report it, and you're not allowed to take it home to eat.

Next time - get a grip on the lil sods neck and give it a quick whip! Then stuff it in your bag and dont tell anyone. Free meal.

I thought it was if you did hit it, you had the right to take it home and scoff it?

 

[gratts]

it flew up and hit my chest and got tangled between my arm and chest, flapping about, It was upside down by this time ejecting poop down my arm

Brilliant.

 

[hackbike 6]

Yeah the bird enjoyed it as well.

 

[Mr Phoebus]

Pheasants are quite common round the country lanes by me.

I hate it when I'm cycling along a quiet dark country lane and I unknowingly
spook one and it lets out that huge bloody squawk like only a cock pheasant can do.

 

[cheadle hulme]

They do like to hang around in hedgerows and then jump out don't they?
Usually in pairs like you've caught them at it or something.

 

[ColinJ]

Unfortunately this man wasn't so lucky...

 

[neslon]

"Phasianus colchicus" or "Daftus Twattus"
I was on my way home doing about 19 mph when from a hedgerow in Ollerton (Cheshire) A sizeable Pheasant decided that it was time to cross, the road having been empty for some time in either direction, they arent the brightest creatures, even compared to your average Tarmac lorry driver.

Pheasants? We dream of them! Last week I was coming through North Shields when a huge rat threw itself under my front wheel, almost putting me onto the beach. Worse, some mad woman ran after me telling me I had to put it out of its misery. I suggested she fed it to the kid in the pram she had been pushing, which didn't seem to settle things down much .