Housemate/partner problem

[tdr1nka]

Could be worse though - you could be living in Croydon.

+1

 

[Landslide]

+1

+2

 

[Night Train]

Removed for personal reasons and sent as pm

 

[Noodley]

Can I delete this post on, say, Friday of next week?

 

[Night Train]

Of course you can Noodley. I am just aware that I have been stalked online in the past and so I am more cautious of leaving some things online for too long.

 

[Noodley]

I am just aware that I have been stalked online in the past....

Best not to post then IME...or change your username

 

[Dayvo]

Best not to post then IME...or change your username

Good advice - jdfyfe is up for grabs!

Sprocket Dog!

It is an uncomfortable arrangement, but the best, if not easiest, option is for you to leave and distance yourself from your ex-wife! Or she move out. Or, even better, she move out just after you start shagging one of the other housemates.
Good luck, though, whatever decision you make.

 

[buddha]

Could be worse though - you could be living in Croydon.

+1

+2

+3 ... (believe me, I know!)

 

[Globalti]

I read you original post with strong feelings of sympathy and disbelief that you have allowed the situation to get that far. You come across as a decent sort of person and probably quite gentle and laid back in character. However what your ex-wife is doing to you is absolutely unacceptable, disrespectful, dishonourable and disgraceful. In most other countries in the world men with less self-control than you might have taken the law into their own hands by now. You should put all your possessions and assets beyond your ex-wife's reach and leave the house now, even if it means taking a hit on renting a small flat for a few months. You should then write to your ex-wife inviting her and her new partner between them to pay your part of the rent. If there are contractual complications you need to get up from your desk now and walk straight to the nearest solicitor's office or at least CIB. Your situation is absolutely intolerable and your good nature is being exploited.

 

[Willow]

Out of the blue I was replaced by a new model nearly 2 years ago now, I have kept things so they are amicable but recently asked ex not to keep bringing her to our children's weekend activities because it really upsets me to see them together - the rest of the time I get by ok. I would be a mental wreck if I was in the position you are. I think the ball is in your court, if she is approachable talk to her if not and you can afford to move, if you can't do either of those then the situation needs careful consideration.

 

[domtyler]

Get out of there Sprocket Dog, move to the other side of the world if you have to or go travelling for six months, just don't let this go on a second longer.

 

[Arch]

I read you original post with strong feelings of sympathy and disbelief that you have allowed the situation to get that far. You come across as a decent sort of person and probably quite gentle and laid back in character. However what your ex-wife is doing to you is absolutely unacceptable, disrespectful, dishonourable and disgraceful. In most other countries in the world men with less self-control than you might have taken the law into their own hands by now. You should put all your possessions and assets beyond your ex-wife's reach and leave the house now, even if it means taking a hit on renting a small flat for a few months. You should then write to your ex-wife inviting her and her new partner between them to pay your part of the rent. If there are contractual complications you need to get up from your desk now and walk straight to the nearest solicitor's office or at least CIB. Your situation is absolutely intolerable and your good nature is being exploited.

Um, why would they have to do that? He signed the contract... To some extent I agree that Sprocket Dog has been pretty laid back about it all, but if he says there are reasons, I'm prepared to believe him and understand that sometimes inertia is the easiest option, even if not the best and all that. Leaving the house part way through a contract may well have felt like an insurmountable issue. I've been in situations where I've probably done the wrong thing by being reasonable, and probably because it seemed easier at the time.

SD, I'd say if the guy is starting to make you feel resentful then maybe it is time to move out, if you can afford to pay rent ofn both do that, otherwise, see if you can sell your let on short term. If you find you can't for any reason, then really, 6 months is not long. Start looking for somewhere else in good time, bite your tongue and put up with it for a bit.

And well done for asking, I think you did the right thing. Sometimes a bit of anonymity is what you need, and while we don't always agree, I think there are people on here who've been through most types of crap in their time... Even if just typing it out makes you think about it more clearly.

And I agree about the croydon bit, and I've never even been there!

 

[Perry]

I've been divorced for a few years. We split on good terms, no kids were involved it was easy.

Even though that's all in the past and I am so over that woman, it still isn't nice to hear her name brought up in conversation.

What you are going through sounds like torture, get out and move on my friend.