Housemate/partner problem

[Sprocket Dog]

This might not be the most appropriate place to post this but the relative anonymity of being a newbie brings some hope that I won't get found out unnecessarily.

I share a house with three others, two very good friends and my ex-wife. My wife and separated seven months ago and, despite initial tensions, it's been fairly amicable.

I've only really started to get over my marriage whereas she's got a few months headstart on me.

My wife now has a new fellah. He's a nice guy and he makes her very happy (*cough**spit*). the thing that's getting me is that he's at our shared house at least four nights a week. They don't practice much discretion and he has basically been supplanted into the life I once had. FWIW, the marriage simply broke down, there are/were no other parties involved.

Aside from my personal feelings of what feels like being constantly tested by them there is the financial consideration. My wife contributes more to the housekeep because of the extra mouth but so far he is living here more than half a week every week for nothing (despite having his own house).

Am I being unreasonable in my feelings of my home being 'invaded'? Stupid things are beginning to annoy me, almost like I'm becoming territorial. I don't want to become that kind of person, but even as I type this message I want to throw him out. He is a very likeable chap which makes it harder in some ways.

Any advice would be appreciated.

TIA.

 

[Noodley]

Get real friendly with him, get him pissed and take photos of him with a goat.

Or, get used to the fact it's over...not easy I suppose.

 

[mr Mag00]

all seems a little strange to me, ask her to leave or cahnge her arrangements

 

[Sprocket Dog]

Or, get used to the fact it's over...not easy I suppose.

TBH, it's the fact that he's practically living here rent free. I always knew she wouldn't be on the market long and he is really good for her.

all seems a little strange to me, ask her to leave or cahnge her arrangements

Yup, a little strange and there are logical (really) reasons to the situation. We're all tied into a lease for another 6 months so leaving isn't an option unless there's someone to step right in.

As housemates, we all get on exceptionally well, we just seem to mix well and cancel out each other's foibles. That's why it seemed like a good idea.

Ho hum.

 

[yenrod]

Unless your hoping for a 3sum...forget it...that man is ****ing your ex-wife: sack it off man...shes a loser to sack you off: get your cash / what your entitled to and git !

Dont end up the loser - she's put her eggs in one basket your still selecting by her decision = you win - get your things and go...

As much as you may not think it: your the better off !

 

[rich p]

Living with your very recently ex-wife sounds like utter madness to me. Get out of there saspo if she's not going to.

 

[Noodley]

TBH, it's the fact that he's practically living here rent free.

I used to stay with 3 other people, all of whom had partners who spent most of their time in our house, without paying anything - I didn't even think about it. Does not look like he needs to pay anything, he's there as a "partner" of a housemate; a housemate who seems to be paying additonal housekeeping.

It's one of those things.

I think you're clutching at straws TBH. Has the world become so consumed by money as to get worked up about something like this?

 

[TheDoctor]

Thanks for the helpful input Yenners...it's a rented house. That's what the OP means by having 6 months of the lease left to run.

 

[bonj2]

just pop him off.

 

[Steve Austin]

You need to move on, and that includes moving away from your ex.

there is no solution to your current situation other than to cut your losses and move on. sorry to be brutal and honest

 

[gavintc]

You can sometimes sell the remaining element of a lease. My kids have both done it from houses they rented at uni. A uni lease is usually 12 months long, the academic year much shorter. So they sell the summer months to someone else informing the agent what is happening.

 

[Flying_Monkey]

Yes, move. You have to sometime, and now seems like a very good time.

 

[Sprocket Dog]

Thanks for input folks.

I shall probably delete this thread in the morning, no point in having it hang around taking up space.

 

[red_tom]

Jesus. Good luck Sprocket Dog. My wife and I split about 3 months ago. Luckily her mother has loads of space in her house so she's gone over there until the solicitors have sorted things out (she's buying me out of the house). We ended up just growing apart and still get on really well but living together, esp with a new bloke would be really hard. I'd definitely take a look at that buying out rest of lease option. Couldn't this new dude buy your bit of it?

Could be worse though - you could be living in Croydon.

 

[wafflycat]

Get real friendly with him, get him pissed and take photos of him with a goat.

But on a more serious note, as others have said, time to consider a physical moving out to build a life without your ex in the picture. Hard to do, but sometimes these things have to be done.