How to discourage an unwanted visitor?

[Globalti]

My oldest pal from school days died just over a year ago, he lived in the IOM. His widow is possibly the thickest, stupidest, most unpleasantly and ignorantly opinionated and ugliest woman I have ever met, her face would make a camel look glamorous. He married her because he got her pregnant and did The Decent Thing. Now of course she's lonely and it's all very sad, I 'phone her from time to time out of loyalty to my friend but unfortunately we live right on the route she takes from Heysham ferry port to her daughter's house so for a long time she's been angling to stay the night. This morning she has called and announced that she's passing and will be dropping in for supper; my wife can't abide her and her own mum has just gone home so no chance of claiming the spare room is occupied as we did before Christmas.

I suppose we would just say "sorry - it's not convenient" but with Mrs RR off work for school hols we can't really say that.

How do we discourage her from staying and make sure she doesn't get into the habit of calling? It's got to be painless, diplomatic and believable.

*goes off to check tonight's ferry times*

OMG! The next ferry is at 02:15 tomorrow morning! She might want to stay all evening!

 

[dan_bo]

I'd make sure you and the missus was having a ginormous noisy domestic about the time when she's due to call.

 

[Landslide]

I'd go out.

 

[Mr Pig]

One night, how bad can it be. Have a heart.

Or go out...

 

[yenrod]

My oldest pal from school days died just over a year ago, he lived in the IOM. His widow is possibly the thickest, stupidest, most unpleasantly and ignorantly opinionated and ugliest woman I have ever met, her face would make a camel look glamorous. He married her because he got her pregnant and did The Decent Thing. Now of course she's lonely and it's all very sad, I 'phone her from time to time out of loyalty to my friend but unfortunately we live right on the route she takes from Heysham ferry port to her daughter's house so for a long time she's been angling to stay the night. This morning she has called and announced that she's passing and will be dropping in for supper; my wife can't abide her and her own mum has just gone home so no chance of claiming the spare room is occupied as we did before Christmas.

I suppose we would just say "sorry - it's not convenient" but with Mrs RR off work for school hols we can't really say that.

How do we discourage her from staying and make sure she doesn't get into the habit of calling? It's got to be painless, diplomatic and believable.

*goes off to check tonight's ferry times*

OMG! The next ferry is at 02:15 tomorrow morning! She might want to stay all evening!

Sorry, Ridge' - but in your desperate situation - its funny.

Sorry mate.

Be straight and honest = its not what you or your wife want, don't stress yourself !

 

[NickM]

If you positively want never to see her again, why be diplomatic?

 

[Alien8]

Think what your "oldest pal" would have wanted you to do and do that.

 

[Globalti]

Murder her?

 

[jonny jeez]

Murder her?

 

[ttcycle]

Doing things out of duty is never great. Hard as it is, be honest but not hurtful, if you don't want to spend time with her cause you don't enjoy her company then fair enough. If what you say about your friend marrying her out of duty rather than for love it might be better for her to be treated with honesty for a change, if you and your wife are one of the few people in her life - wouldn't you in her shoes rather be with people who geniunely liked you rather than just putting up with you out of some misguided sympathy? It may be difficult to do but have that conversation and maybe the shock will be a good wake up call for her to do something positive for herself. She's not your responsibility and it's not down to you to change her.

 

[Riverman]

How far is it?

Tell her you'll only let her come round if she cycles there.

 

[Globalti]

ttcycle, your advice is more right than you know - she hasn't changed the voice on her answering phone so you get my pal's voice, which is an unpleasant shock and she is still using his email address and forwarding silly emails in the same way he used to.

 

[ttcycle]

She needs to move on, if you genuinely think that she could be a half decent person - stick with it but don't do that out of pity. Would you want that for you if you were in the same situation? Maybe holding on to him is partly cause you guys had a connection to him as well.

Be honest, tell her that you are concerned that she's isolated and by the sounds of it not moving on but then explain how you find it tricky spending time with her.

Not easy but be brave

 

[philipbh]

Did you mention to her that you have recently converted to Naturism and are enforcing a strict Clothes Free Policy at RR Acres this year?

 

[Globalti]

Hmmmmm.... she might not believe that.... unless of course we all met her at the door stark naked.

Maybe if Mrs RR and RR junior went out and I "confessed" that I had always been interested in having an S&M sex session with her?