Not sure about "out of the way" cycling, country lanes provide their own dangers. My lad started road cycling at 13, via his paper round, my daughter at 9 via a very busy A road to school, albeit a very short 400 yard journey. 19 is v.old to be scared of traffic, what exactly, is he scared of? I wouldn't force/press him though, a reluctance + nerves might not end well.
How to make my son cycle on the road
- Thread starter Sandra6
- Start date
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deanE
Senior Member
- Location
- Falmouth, Cornwall
19?, years?
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
19.. 19, where is the teenage bolshy attitude ?. He should be cutting it rough with the traffic, doing crazy red light jumping and all that most teenagers do on bikes. Oh and he needs a helmet cam, and go shouting at silly drivers with all 8.5 stone of him (well that's what others do).
I think he's scared of being run over. Seems a valid fear to me, but not one that can't be overcome. It comes from not understanding the "rules" and feeling as a cyclist he has to give way to all traffic, it's his perception of himself as a cyclist that needs to change I think.
What exactly are you struggling with? 19years old, yes. It's an age. I don't understand your confusion.
I've just spoken to the chap responsible for organising bikeability, I said it was for an adult "a d u l t ssssssss.hmm" He struggled with that one. I mentioned that other councils do such things, and for free I've heard. "well, yes." he said " we could do that, but we don't" Helpful.
Seems my only option is to pay. I'm not totally against the idea, but the only place offering courses is about 30 miles away, and not on a bus route.
Mum's way it is then.
Boris Bajic
Guest
This is a tricky one - I feel for you. But it's excellent that he has a mother who wants to address this. The trick would be to get him doing it when he's seven or eight, but that is not appropriate and in the context looks facetious.
As you're in Cumbria, I'd suggest starting on country lanes and building up from there. Cumbria must be one of these islands' cycling paradises and there must be plenty of locations where the pavement is not an option.
Ours are now nineteen, seventeen and fourteen and apart from the one who wants a 'training partner' (someone to humiliate) they are not all that keen on riding with a parent. To them, my presence strikes the image of a patrician old codger with a pipe and plus-fours. So riding with a parent (and being told how and where to ride by that parent) might not seem 'cool'. Even when I do ride with them, I keep my gob shut these days.
I imagine that at nineteen he will do what he does regardless of your suggestion - and even if he conforms in your presence, he won't when alone or with friends.
Setting an example (as it seems you do) and treating the road as a normal place for bicycles (as you do) is an excellent start. Getting him (bribing him?) to do errands for you by bike might help. I imagine you've been cycling all his life (I may be wrong) so unless you've been up-ended by an errant artic in his sight, he ought to see the road as the normal habitat for a bicycle. Get lots of positive references to road riding into chats.
Does he drive? Mine were all cycling on fairly horrid and scary roads far too young, but two of them now drive and it has altered their perspective about what is safe and what is not. Both the drivers are now more confident cycling on the road than they were before they got behind the wheel. Just a thought.
This is where I might offend the faithful.... You say he gets nervous about your use of primary. I am not a big advocate of its use other than in very particular circumstances. I don't encourage my children to use it (all ride in London and the country). I see riders who I think use it without consideration for other road users or their own safety, which is not to say it is always bad. I can well imagine that there are times when a casual cyclist might see it as either unhelpfully holding up motor vehicles or just ramping up the risk. Not that either of those is the case, but that it might appear that way. If you really want to get him out on the roads and he freaks at your use of primary, would it be worth compromising on that when you're out together? Sorry if that offends.
Ultimately, it might be like having a nineteen-year-old who smokes. They're too old for you to forbid it and they won't listen anyway... so just keep reinforcing the positive messages and be very, very, very patient. He will work it out, but in his own time.
Until then, (although it is a pet hate of mine too) is it really so bad? He is out and about on a bicycle. That is already significantly preferable to the alternative.
Finally... One of mine (the one who races bikes) has mild dyspraxia. One of his 'dislikes' is unpredictability. On one or two rides in North London in heavy traffic he's been really uncomfortable with how close cars came to him and seemed to swoop around him. If your son really doesn't like riding in traffic, might this be some of the cause. My boy with dyspraxia will hurtle down hills at 38mph, but would rather not pootle in heavy traffic alongside three lanes of cars.
As you're in Cumbria, I'd suggest starting on country lanes and building up from there. Cumbria must be one of these islands' cycling paradises and there must be plenty of locations where the pavement is not an option.
Ours are now nineteen, seventeen and fourteen and apart from the one who wants a 'training partner' (someone to humiliate) they are not all that keen on riding with a parent. To them, my presence strikes the image of a patrician old codger with a pipe and plus-fours. So riding with a parent (and being told how and where to ride by that parent) might not seem 'cool'. Even when I do ride with them, I keep my gob shut these days.
I imagine that at nineteen he will do what he does regardless of your suggestion - and even if he conforms in your presence, he won't when alone or with friends.
Setting an example (as it seems you do) and treating the road as a normal place for bicycles (as you do) is an excellent start. Getting him (bribing him?) to do errands for you by bike might help. I imagine you've been cycling all his life (I may be wrong) so unless you've been up-ended by an errant artic in his sight, he ought to see the road as the normal habitat for a bicycle. Get lots of positive references to road riding into chats.
Does he drive? Mine were all cycling on fairly horrid and scary roads far too young, but two of them now drive and it has altered their perspective about what is safe and what is not. Both the drivers are now more confident cycling on the road than they were before they got behind the wheel. Just a thought.
This is where I might offend the faithful.... You say he gets nervous about your use of primary. I am not a big advocate of its use other than in very particular circumstances. I don't encourage my children to use it (all ride in London and the country). I see riders who I think use it without consideration for other road users or their own safety, which is not to say it is always bad. I can well imagine that there are times when a casual cyclist might see it as either unhelpfully holding up motor vehicles or just ramping up the risk. Not that either of those is the case, but that it might appear that way. If you really want to get him out on the roads and he freaks at your use of primary, would it be worth compromising on that when you're out together? Sorry if that offends.
Ultimately, it might be like having a nineteen-year-old who smokes. They're too old for you to forbid it and they won't listen anyway... so just keep reinforcing the positive messages and be very, very, very patient. He will work it out, but in his own time.
Until then, (although it is a pet hate of mine too) is it really so bad? He is out and about on a bicycle. That is already significantly preferable to the alternative.
Finally... One of mine (the one who races bikes) has mild dyspraxia. One of his 'dislikes' is unpredictability. On one or two rides in North London in heavy traffic he's been really uncomfortable with how close cars came to him and seemed to swoop around him. If your son really doesn't like riding in traffic, might this be some of the cause. My boy with dyspraxia will hurtle down hills at 38mph, but would rather not pootle in heavy traffic alongside three lanes of cars.
You're right. Matthew T where are you?? Come take my son for a ride!
@Boris Bajic That's a really lovely reply, thank you.
You are wrong in the assumption that I've been cycling all his life though, I actually only discovered cycling a couple of years ago and although the children all learned to ride bikes when they were 6/7 they never did a lot of cycling. It's taken them this long to stop thinking of me as a crazy lady and come to terms with the idea of a bike as transport.
The youngest two - 8 and 11 - are well on their way to being "proper" cyclists, but I think with the eldest I missed the window.
Like you say, atleast he's using the bike.
You are wrong in the assumption that I've been cycling all his life though, I actually only discovered cycling a couple of years ago and although the children all learned to ride bikes when they were 6/7 they never did a lot of cycling. It's taken them this long to stop thinking of me as a crazy lady and come to terms with the idea of a bike as transport.
The youngest two - 8 and 11 - are well on their way to being "proper" cyclists, but I think with the eldest I missed the window.
Like you say, atleast he's using the bike.
But is it a "valid" fear? Not really, show him some facts/stats, the chances of being "run over" are extremely small indeed.
I can understand your problem though, my wife is nervous in traffic, she dithers at times rather than asserting herself, times when she has the "right" of progress, she causes herself problems.
fossyant
Ride It Like You Stole It!
- Location
- South Manchester
No need to worry, they bounce well at that age. I like to think I still bounce well, but at double his age (and a bit more as @potsy would say) I'm not quite as bouncy as before.
Maybe if you went MTB'ing and he got to up his skillz a bit. Those pesky boulders, trees and drop offs are more likely to bite back than a car.
Over The Hill
Guru
- Location
- Ridden off into the sunset
I am not hung up with it but I do find having a mirror on my bike makes me feel much safer. That may help him with his confidence.
If you walked out into a road, turned your back on the oncoming traffic and started walking, you would be thought a bit reckless and doing something dangerous. But that is really what we are doing cycling on a road but just at a slightly higher speed.
If you walked out into a road, turned your back on the oncoming traffic and started walking, you would be thought a bit reckless and doing something dangerous. But that is really what we are doing cycling on a road but just at a slightly higher speed.
summerdays
Cycling in the sun
- Location
- Bristol
If he wants to take a longer route that is a shared path, I wouldn't have a problem with that - it's worth checking that he knows about sharing it and not thinking that the pedestrians have to get out of his way.
As for getting him to cycle on the road, encourage him on the quietest roads at first and build up his confidence there, then move onto busier roads. I think it is nice that he wanted to cycle with you. When I started I went on the pavement on all but the quietest roads and gradually built up my confidence and experience. If he did Bikeability a while ago then he has probably forgotten it, I know my children have forgotten when they haven't been on the road in a while.
As for getting him to cycle on the road, encourage him on the quietest roads at first and build up his confidence there, then move onto busier roads. I think it is nice that he wanted to cycle with you. When I started I went on the pavement on all but the quietest roads and gradually built up my confidence and experience. If he did Bikeability a while ago then he has probably forgotten it, I know my children have forgotten when they haven't been on the road in a while.
numbnuts
Squire
- Location
- Gone over the hill and far away
Loads of advice on here, but have to tried a big stick 
