How to tactfully refuse a gift.

[Starchivore]

Ah, I'd misread the OP. You're right. And if he still says no you can offer a charitable donation which would be hard for him to refuse and may make the OP feel a bit better about things

If possible, I'd meet with him face to face and say that although you really do appreciate the gesture, you can't accept it without either paying for them or giving the equivalent amount to his favourite charity. All done in your best friendly but firm manner and with a smile.

Yeah I think the idea of nicely and lightly saying he could give the £ to a charity could be good. if you feel you really don't want to accept. I can understand that- I'd find it awkward, but as a couple have pointed out, he wouldn't have offered if he didn't want to so you don't need to feel weird about it.

 

[fossyant]

It may be that he can't make the match. Get him a crate of beer as a thank you.

 

[Globalti]

I had a similar problem when a customer, who I had helped with the acquisition of some machinery, sent me a cheque for £1000. I phoned to thank him and explained that I really enjoyed helping him and, although the thought was appreciated I would rather just do him favours out of friendship. I don't think he took offence because he still talks to me!

 

[Pat "5mph"]

If you always payed before, I wouldn't worry about it.
Maybe he go them for free and can't go, maybe he wants to gift them to you for Christmas.
If you don't like the person though, just say you can't go, ask him to give the tickets to someone else.

 

[Slick]

Take the tickets man, and enjoy the game.

 

[MarquisMatsugae]

There is always the "Thanks,but yer teams shite " method.

 

[Tin Pot]

@SpokeyDokey
Could you clarify why you have a problem with the gift?

I actually find receiving gifts extremely difficult, but probably for different reasons.

 

[Sandra6]

Does this guy know you have a "thing" about present receiving? If not, just tell him.
Say "that's really kind of you, but I'm not big into xmas presents so I'd rather pay for them as usual" and hand him the cash.
I'm not sure what your issue is with presents, but if that's your way people really should respect it. But if they don't know, they'll keep embarrassing themselves and you.

 

[Globalti]

What I didn't mention in my post above is that once you accept a gift from an unusual source, especially a business contact, you are to some extent obliged to the giver. That was my main reason for returning the cheque my customer gave me.

 

[SpokeyDokey]

@SpokeyDokey
Could you clarify why you have a problem with the gift?

I actually find receiving gifts extremely difficult, but probably for different reasons.

I just feel a tad awkward about it as I genuinely prefer to give gifts rather than receive them - always have really.

I've never really coped well with out of the blue gifts albeit this has only happened a few times in my life.

Not sure why this is tbh.

Apart from this thread I have also spoken to a couple of close friends and the upshot is I have graciously accepted the gift and post-match I will send a small gift as a token of thanks.

 

[Tin Pot]

I just feel a tad awkward about it as I genuinely prefer to give gifts rather than receive them - always have really.

I've never really coped well with out of the blue gifts albeit this has only happened a few times in my life.

Not sure why this is tbh.

Apart from this thread I have also spoken to a couple of close friends and the upshot is I have graciously accepted the gift and post-match I will send a small gift as a token of thanks.

Good for you.

I'm similar then, I would rather avoid the whole emotional turmoil of receiving gifts - I struggle to respond in a socially acceptable way - now, whether it's a wrapped present or an offer to pay the bill I just say "thanks, that's very kind" and move on as quickly as possible.

I've got boxes of unopened and unused gifts. Unfortunately my kids found them a few minths ago and realised I'd never opened some of the things they gave me! Now that's awkward!

 

[Tin Pot]

@SpokeyDokey

Coincidentally I've just bumped into this article of huffpost , though I'm skeptical of suggestion #11

Being visibly ungrateful for presents is a cardinal sin at Christmas, but a newstudy has shown that some people simply aren’t capable of feeling gratitude. Apparently.

However, on the basis your family missed that memo, you’re gonna need a better excuse. So here are 10 ways to take it on the chin like the selfless champ you are.

1. Maintain a poker face.
The globally recognised go-to. You want to master the fine line between happy and surprised.

2. Throw a tantrum.
The ultimate response. But can really burn bridges if you’re over five years old.

3. Gasp in adoration.
Can be used to mask disgust but will result in being rewarded with crap presents for the next two decades.

4. Straight up lie.
And hope your mum doesn’t realise.

5. Hide it in the turkey.
Preferably when no one is looking.

6. Destroy it.
Blame the dog

7. Make mental note to re-gift in January.
People with January birthdays must own so many mini toiletries.

8. Sell it on eBay.
A website primarily created for shifting all the shoot you acquire over Christmas.

9. Get drunk.
When you’ve had nine glasses of Bucks Fizz, every present is as good as an iPhone.

10. Ask for the receipt.
Why don’t you just go ahead and punch your grandma in the face you cruel bastard.

11. Be genuinely grateful.
It’s not that hard you know.

 

[Bonefish Blues]

I just feel a tad awkward about it as I genuinely prefer to give gifts rather than receive them - always have really.

I've never really coped well with out of the blue gifts albeit this has only happened a few times in my life.

Not sure why this is tbh.

Apart from this thread I have also spoken to a couple of close friends and the upshot is I have graciously accepted the gift and post-match I will send a small gift as a token of thanks.

...is the right answer

 

[nickyboy]

What I didn't mention in my post above is that once you accept a gift from an unusual source, especially a business contact, you are to some extent obliged to the giver. That was my main reason for returning the cheque my customer gave me.

Are you a one man band or owner of your company?

The reason I ask is I am self employed and if a client gave me a cheque for £1000, me having given him some good assistance, I would regard that as fair and reasonable and would trouser it. I wouldn't think of it as a gift, more an ex-gratia to reflect the fact I'd saved the client a lot of money or whatever

However, if an employee gets something like that then it's quite a different matter

 

[Slick]

Jeezo, could this thread be any more British?