Husband not interested in touring...what have you done in this situation?

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Tompy

Senior Member
Location
Peterborough
I'm the Secretary of CTC Peterborough and I'm mulling over doing a short tour next Spring (possibly on one of the May bank holiday weekends). My own touring experience is limited to the C2C so I'm keen to do more and I know a few of our members want to try cycle camping so I would envisage a small group going.

It is very early in the planning stage but I'm thinking along the lines of taking the train to York and cycling back in 3 days doing around 50 miles per day. Camping each night would be preferred but I might try and camp near B&B's so people can come along who either don't have the gear or don't fancy camping.

If it gets beyond the planning stage, you're more than welcome to join us.
 
Hello thistler - I'm a bit late to this thread because I've been away touring.

When I started touring my husband wasn't into it, so I just went off on my own and did it. I did a relatively common route - the C2C - and stayed in B&Bs. As a lone female traveller I found the B&B owners very helpful indeed. I also have another male friend (a friend of my husband's too, so it's all OK) that I sometimes do weekends away with and a larger group of friends I go away with once a year. Next year I'm going to cycle across France to the alps on my own (camping too).

It constantly surprised me how resourceful I was when I was touring on my own and how I 'came out of myself' to deal with situations. I am usually quite quiet socially. I would really recommend you do it. If you portray an air of confidence you're less vulnerable anyway. If others know where you are too (eg leave a route, phone numbers etc with others) then that is an added layer of security. It's good to know how to fix your own bike. I built my tourer from scratch so I know how it works. A good book is 'Zinn and the art of road bike maintenance' if you want to learn stuff. Generally speaking do your research first - about the route, where you're staying, what there is to see on the way etc.

Another thing you might do with your other half is have a holiday where your time is split - you tour for a week and he drives the support vehicle, and then you stay put for a week. I'm not too impressed with his comments about you 'being too tired to do anything at the end of the day'. You know your own abilities so pick distances to suit. Don't let sexism discourage you - just get out there and do it.
 

fay144

New Member
I'm just back from my first tour, with my husband, and have to admit: there were a few moments where it occurred to me that touring is maybe an activity best done solo.... :whistle:

(generally the moments after 50 miles of a strong headwind and/or rain, listening to him rant about putting his bike on ebay the second he got home...)

Just joking, it was mostly fine, and the bikes are still in the garage... but there is a bit of me that would love to do that on my own. I remember on my a (car) camping trip a few years ago (before I even owned a bike), seeing a woman cycling on her own into Oban loaded up, and then seeing her later at the campsite, and thinking it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. I was very jealous, and it planted the idea of touring in my head.

Only problem is that OH enjoyed it in the end, so will always want to come with me now...
 
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thistler

thistler

Veteran
Location
Happy Valley
Thanks for the replies.

I am starting to think touring on my own is a grand idea. My husband would no doubt be the whinging 'are we there yet' 'this is all your fault' kind of cycler.... and time alone is supposed to be good for your soul...and your marriage...  ;) 
 

vernon

Harder than Ronnie Pickering
Location
Meanwood, Leeds
Thanks for the replies.

I am starting to think touring on my own is a grand idea. My husband would no doubt be the whinging 'are we there yet' 'this is all your fault' kind of cycler.... and time alone is supposed to be good for your soul...and your marriage... ;)

I get the perfect responses from my wife....

Me: 'Is it OK if I spend a fortnight in France on a cycle tour?'

Wife: 'Only two weeks?'

and...

Wife: 'How long do you expect to take to do Lon Las Cymru?'

Me: 'Four or five days.'

Wife: 'Why not take a week and take it easy.'


This summer, my procrastination meant that my cycle our in France meant that I left Leeds on 24th July and I returned on the afternoon of 16th August ( it would have been 13th August had I booked the return trip earlier) only to depart at 05:30 on 17th for three days at the Edinburgh festival on a school trip.

Today I was asked if I had any other excursions planned - as tempting as it is to go away again, I intend to stay at home until school starts again.

My wife enjoys the absence of: entropy, bickering with the kids and the mess that I create when I am away.

I enjoy the solitude, freedom and tranquility of being out on the road.


Strike out on your own. You'll enjoy it. Don't worry too much about loneliness - plenty of folk will engage you in conversation in the shops and at the camp sites/hostels/ B&Bs
 

dollshousegirl

New Member
Location
lincoln
hi everybody. just found this forum, fairly new to biking after a break of a few years, kids grown up, and fancied getting out on my bike. i seem to be in a similar situation to you thistler.

we both got the bikes out again and he has only been on two rides with me. i cant make him come with me... any hoo i enjoy my own company, getting away from the teenagers and grumpy in a nice way husband (husbands/kids and their demands)

i have been on a few day rides, the most i have done is 20 miles (that took me three hrs)

my plan is to go camping and touring after this coming bank holiday weekend. plan to cycle up the coast from skeggy to mablethorpe. and camp out for a few days. enjoying the solitude........... i may even cycle back home to lincoln.. see how i feel

in fact my dream for along time has been to cycle round the coast of the UK, so this is the first of many dry runs and lots of planning

anybody on here done that ????? any tips or planning advice.............

and yes i plan to do it alone.

Thistler, you live in SE lincs, would you like to email me and we could maybe meet up,if you are in the area i am in the bank holiday week, say hello, get to know one another, see if we get on for rides in the future
 
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thistler

thistler

Veteran
Location
Happy Valley
hi everybody. just found this forum, fairly new to biking after a break  of a few years, kids grown up, and fancied getting out on my bike. i  seem to be in a similar situation to you thistler.

we both got the bikes out again and he has only been on two rides with me. i cant make him come with me... any hoo i enjoy my own company, getting away from the teenagers and grumpy in a nice way husband (husbands/kids and their demands)

i have been on a few day rides, the most i have done is 20 miles (that took me three hrs)

my plan is to go camping and touring after this coming bank holiday weekend. plan to cycle up the coast from skeggy to mablethorpe. and camp out for a few days. enjoying the solitude........... i may even cycle back home to lincoln.. see how i feel

in fact my dream for along time has been to cycle round the coast of the UK, so this is the first of many dry runs and lots of planning

anybody on here done that ????? any tips or planning advice.............

and yes i plan to do it alone.

Thistler, you live in SE lincs, would you like to email me and we could maybe meet up,if you are in the area i am in the bank holiday week, say hello, get to know one another, see if we get on for rides in the future



I only just saw your post - sounds great! I'll send you a pm tomorrow when I've got a bit more time!!!
 

Wardy

Active Member
Husband would be in the car, he has no interest in cycling at all really other than the occasional pootle around...
I am a bit wary of touring as a lone woman, riding solo is fine but I'd be a bit worried about camping on my own. I did look online at groups but the ones I saw were incredibly expensive...guess I've been looking in the wrong place! Where should I be looking?

I would try commercial sites rather than wild camping. The Camping & Caravan Club sites are usually good and pretty well run. I recently stayed at two and was told that there was no surcharge for cyclists/walkers who were non-members AND that they would never turn you away if they were busy.
 

dollshousegirl

New Member
Location
lincoln
I have booked in one for next week and they made me pay a surcharge

as to riding alone I think I actually may prefer it. Have been out today and just loved getting out in the fresh air, pushing my self to go a bit faster, whizzing along I couldn't do that if he was with me...... I would have to wait for him

I don't need to talk to anyone if I don't want and it does me good to get out

plus i have tea or dinner waiting for me when I get back
 

Danny

Legendary Member
Location
York
:biggrin: he doesn't like the idea of a tandem either!


Do you all think it is safe for a woman to go touring/camping on her own? I used to do it back in the 80's/early 90's but things seemed safer then....or maybe I was just naive! Would you men feel okay with your wife/partner/daughter going on her own?
I would be perfectly happy - despite the impression you get from the media, crime has fallen significantly over the last 15 years.
 

doog

....
I have booked in one for next week and they made me pay a surcharge

I find that if you just turn up with your bike you can usually get in. I never pre book as I never know when I will stop so i put a load of dots on maps in my general direction where camp sites are. Quite often they look at you as if you are nuts and make up some charge on the spot...if its more than £10 I move on or argue the toss. I would consider a tenner to be the maximum i would pay for a small tent, no vehicle and a hot shower and drinking water.


I use this site before i go to pinpoint potential sites

http://www.ukcampsite.co.uk/sites/
 
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