I have wrote a new page

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
Hey All

I am currently writing the about me page on my blog and would REALLY appreciate some honest feedback on it.

http://theamazing39stonecyclist.wordpress.com/about/

Its pretty long winded and only about half done, its intended to be

a heart warming, tear jerking, inspiring account of how I have gone from a no hoper, dead man walking, to someone who cycles up to 30 miles a day.
Is it hitting those notes or do I need a rewrite ? If we are all agreed that its what it needs to be then I will crack on with the second half.

Thank you very much in advance !

Gaz
 

montage

God Almighty
Location
Bethlehem
I held it together, he didn’t, the ensuing wait for medial help and then a stop for paramedics 10 miles later but us all off our stride, I struggled to get going again, after being stopped for around 90 mins in total. In the end we made it to Blackpool
One grammar thing there...

Very good story, and whilst I cannot directly relate having never had to lose that weight, it is something I deeply respect. It is heart warming and inspiring and very much hits the note of the reformed person, or the awakening of the hidden determined beast within.

I think it is great you are using your story to inspire others. Best of luck reaching that goal weight.
 
Pretty good Gaz, apart from the aforementioned slip. Not too over-sentimental or cheesy and nothing made me want to skip bits here and there. Looking forward to the next instalment.
By the way, how did you go about improving your diet apart from cutting out the obvious stuff?

Bill
 
OP
gb155

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
montage said:
One grammar thing there...

Very good story, and whilst I cannot directly relate having never had to lose that weight, it is something I deeply respect. It is heart warming and inspiring and very much hits the note of the reformed person, or the awakening of the hidden determined beast within.

I think it is great you are using your story to inspire others. Best of luck reaching that goal weight.
Montage, I will go and edit that now, thanks !

It sounds like I am just about on the patch I wanted to be on based on your comments, thanks for taking the time to read it.
 
OP
gb155

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
TheBoyBilly said:
Pretty good Gaz, apart from the aforementioned slip. Not too over-sentimental or cheesy and nothing made me want to skip bits here and there. Looking forward to the next instalment.
By the way, how did you go about improving your diet apart from cutting out the obvious stuff?

Bill
Thanks Bill

Im glad its not too "waffling" , the problem is I have so much to say and its picking from that what bits "NEED" to be in there.

Tbh the base of my diet wasnt actually too bad, it was all the "cra*" on top of it that cause me to balloon, I stopped driking 2lt of coke a day, many many bars of chocolate etc and before I knew it I was away.
 
Tbh the base of my diet wasnt actually too bad, it was all the "cra*" on top of it that cause me to balloon, I stopped driking 2lt of coke a day, many many bars of chocolate etc and before I knew it I was away.[/QUOTE]

That's mainly what I've done Gaz, it's amazing how much of that rubbish I was getting through just by being bored at work etc.
I'm much more disciplined now (although I still have the occasional beer or wine-but chocolate is definately out) And, of course, the cycling is now much more of a pleasure as I sense myself getting ever fitter. I remembered only the other night how my first trip into Brighton was a case of 'ease off here, stop for a rest there' but coming home the other night on my Brompton was so so easy, and at a fair old speed too!

Bill
 

allen-uk

New Member
Location
London.
Gaz.

Your story is absolutely phenomenal, amazing, mind-blowing, and every superlative you can find in a thesaurus. Scarcely credible - and yet you've done it. I know all about diets (a bit like Mark Twain and giving up smoking), having been on them so often. But that degree of weight loss, and that degree of exercise, are the stuff of legends, and of inspiration.

You ask about your blog, and for constructive criticisms. Well, two things. First, your blog stands as it is, a tale of courage, perseverance and that too-rare commodity, the strength to haul yourself back on track when circumstances knocked you (quite literally) flat.

Second, but ONLY because you asked, I would say this. Yes, it does need 'subbing' - going through and deleting over-used exclamation marks, capital letters, putting in full stops in place of commas, that sort of thing. But compared to what you've done, subbing it is the very easy part, and one which I would be happy and privileged to do for you. Here are two paragraphs, first yours with its stylistic non-conformities (I don't use the word 'errors'), followed by my subbed version, which is no better, but which follows more standard writing conventions.

My name is Gary Brennan; you may know me as The Amazing Shrinking Gaz, The 39 Stone Cyclist, or just “the Fat Lad on a bike”. In January 2008 I weighed in at mind (and waist) busting 39stone and 13lbs. A few months before my GP has suggested to me that I consider a Gastric Bypass. I was shocked !!! I thought to myself “but they are for really fat people” , I was there for many health related issues and he realising how dire my situation was thought he would make the suggestion to help me. I left and thought nothing of his words. It was around 3 days later that , while struggling to walk from my living room to my kitchen that I decided “Actually I am a really fat” and with that, my light bulb moment, my life would never be the same again.

My name is Gary Brennan. You may know me as The Amazing Shrinking Gaz, The 39 Stone Cyclist, or just “the fat lad on a bike.” In January 2008 I weighed in at a mind- (and waist-) busting 39 stone and 13 pounds. A few months before my GP had suggested to me that I consider a gastric by-pass. I was shocked. I thought to myself “but they are for really fat people.” I was there for many health-related issues and realising how dire my situation was, he thought he would make the suggestion to help me. I left and thought nothing of his words.

It was around three days later that, while struggling to walk from my living room to my kitchen, that I decided “Actually I am really fat” and with that, my light-bulb moment, my life would never be the same again.


So, very little is changed, just cleaned up. If you want your blog page subbed in this way, it would take me about an hour, and as I said above, it really would be a privilege to make such a modest contribution to your achievement.

One medical question: how is the high BP and Type II diabetes? I ask because the last time I dropped a large amount of weight, I too started off with high blood-pressure and Type II diabetes, and ended up six stones lighter with normal BP and normal blood-glucose levels. I wondered whether you had similar improvements. (No, I've put it all back on again - it is a great danger, but one of which you are already aware).

If you'd rather push on by yourself, fine, but the offer of the subbing is there if you want to take it up. Mind, you seem to have done pretty darned well by yourself so far!


Best wishes,


Allen.
 
OP
gb155

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
lanternerouge said:
Gaz I just love your story to bits. As someone who wants to lose some weight too and struggles with his diet it is a real help to read it.

Thanks mate.

Thanks Very Much Mate :biggrin:
 
OP
gb155

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
allen-uk said:
Gaz.

Your story is absolutely phenomenal, amazing, mind-blowing, and every superlative you can find in a thesaurus. Scarcely credible - and yet you've done it. I know all about diets (a bit like Mark Twain and giving up smoking), having been on them so often. But that degree of weight loss, and that degree of exercise, are the stuff of legends, and of inspiration.

You ask about your blog, and for constructive criticisms. Well, two things. First, your blog stands as it is, a tale of courage, perseverance and that too-rare commodity, the strength to haul yourself back on track when circumstances knocked you (quite literally) flat.

Second, but ONLY because you asked, I would say this. Yes, it does need 'subbing' - going through and deleting over-used exclamation marks, capital letters, putting in full stops in place of commas, that sort of thing. But compared to what you've done, subbing it is the very easy part, and one which I would be happy and privileged to do for you. Here are two paragraphs, first yours with its stylistic non-conformities (I don't use the word 'errors'), followed by my subbed version, which is no better, but which follows more standard writing conventions.

My name is Gary Brennan; you may know me as The Amazing Shrinking Gaz, The 39 Stone Cyclist, or just “the Fat Lad on a bike”. In January 2008 I weighed in at mind (and waist) busting 39stone and 13lbs. A few months before my GP has suggested to me that I consider a Gastric Bypass. I was shocked !!! I thought to myself “but they are for really fat people” , I was there for many health related issues and he realising how dire my situation was thought he would make the suggestion to help me. I left and thought nothing of his words. It was around 3 days later that , while struggling to walk from my living room to my kitchen that I decided “Actually I am a really fat” and with that, my light bulb moment, my life would never be the same again.

My name is Gary Brennan. You may know me as The Amazing Shrinking Gaz, The 39 Stone Cyclist, or just “the fat lad on a bike.” In January 2008 I weighed in at a mind- (and waist-) busting 39 stone and 13 pounds. A few months before my GP had suggested to me that I consider a gastric by-pass. I was shocked. I thought to myself “but they are for really fat people.” I was there for many health-related issues and realising how dire my situation was, he thought he would make the suggestion to help me. I left and thought nothing of his words.

It was around three days later that, while struggling to walk from my living room to my kitchen, that I decided “Actually I am really fat” and with that, my light-bulb moment, my life would never be the same again.


So, very little is changed, just cleaned up. If you want your blog page subbed in this way, it would take me about an hour, and as I said above, it really would be a privilege to make such a modest contribution to your achievement.

One medical question: how is the high BP and Type II diabetes? I ask because the last time I dropped a large amount of weight, I too started off with high blood-pressure and Type II diabetes, and ended up six stones lighter with normal BP and normal blood-glucose levels. I wondered whether you had similar improvements. (No, I've put it all back on again - it is a great danger, but one of which you are already aware).


If you'd rather push on by yourself, fine, but the offer of the subbing is there if you want to take it up. Mind, you seem to have done pretty darned well by yourself so far!


Best wishes,


Allen.
That reminds me to add something else, No Diabeties, no High B, everything is now as it should be, im a picture of health (and bloody lucky too )
 

allen-uk

New Member
Location
London.
Well, as you're still a big guy (although your height/weight ratio is probably getting close to 'normal') your BP and diabetic figures really show that exercise has been the key in your case.

Brilliant achievement.


Allen.
 
Please forgive me Gaz for having a blond moment, but I alway thought that once you had diabetes you had it forever. My brother has recently been diagnosed with Type 2 and has his numbers coming down a treat by altering his diet and exercising more (it was this diagnosis that got me to really start attempting to get my weight down)
Can you give a little info from your perspective please mate?

Bill
 
OP
gb155

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
TheBoyBilly said:
Please forgive me Gaz for having a blond moment, but I alway thought that once you had diabetes you had it forever. My brother has recently been diagnosed with Type 2 and has his numbers coming down a treat by altering his diet and exercising more (it was this diagnosis that got me to really start attempting to get my weight down)
Can you give a little info from your perspective please mate?

Bill

That was my understanding too, my blood sugars used to be 35mmol on a average day :sad: i'd say within 12 months of cycling I was down to around 10mmol average and now runs off to get tester) as of this morning I am 5mmol (normal) my Gp said it was all weight related and around 9 months ago said he was happy to no loger call me diabetic but suggested i get tested every now and again (hence still having a home test kit)

(hope that makes sense, I have fractured a finger attemping to remove an old crank, ouch, plus its 5am LOL)
 
OP
gb155

gb155

Fan Boy No More.
Location
Manchester-Ish
allen-uk said:
Well, as you're still a big guy (although your height/weight ratio is probably getting close to 'normal') your BP and diabetic figures really show that exercise has been the key in your case.

Brilliant achievement.


Allen.
Thaks Allen, my BMI (we all know its flawed but its the best we have for now) is 34, thats about half of what it was, It was 69.7 when I was at my highest weight (even these numbers blow me away) I have weighed in at 284lbs today, putting me 9lbs away from being 50% less of the man I used to be.

Righ im gonna update my blog with the current health facts !
 

allen-uk

New Member
Location
London.
TheBoyBilly said:
I alway thought that once you had diabetes you had it forever. My brother has recently been diagnosed with Type 2 and has his numbers coming down a treat by altering his diet and exercising more

Just to underline what Gaz has said: Type 2 is NOT forever. It usually IS, but if you can radically alter your diet, weight, and exercise levels, you can live quite happily without medications. I did this, too, a few years back - but the trouble is that if you slacken off, and allow your weight to creep back on, and cut out the exercise, the diabetes comes back, too.

Allen.
 
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