I think a wiffle bat would be the best weapon to carry on a bike. What would your prefered weapon be

Cyclopathic

Veteran
Location
Leicester.
I choose the wiffle bat (semi rigid sort of foam baseball bat. Non lethal unless rammed down throat) because it would be quite effective against pedestrians who leap out at one without actually causing them brain damage. I mean more brain damage.
It would also be quite good on cars because it would create a heck of a bang without causing damage that one might have to pay for.
Carrying it would be a problem so some sort of bracket would have to be atatched from which the bat could be wielded. I considered more lethal weapons from a knife to a bazooka but I'm quite squeamish and couldn't handle killing someone.
 

TVC

Guest
My preferred weapon: Good humour and tolerance.
 

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
Uzi 9mm. Two front-mounted Uzis off-set to maximise death-zone ahead. A hand grenade in the jersey pocket in case the attack comes from behind, obviously. And OF COURSE it goes without saying that retractible scythes in the wheel-hubs can be deployed in an instant to cut down an assailant from the side. Anyone going out on the bike without AT LEAST those basic security items deserves locking up.
 
OP
Cyclopathic

Cyclopathic

Veteran
Location
Leicester.
My preferred weapon: Good humour and tolerance.
A wise choice in that you only benefit if it is somehow used against you. Unfortunately I am a petty and vindictive man and long to batter all those who get in my ruddy way. I thought I was being noble by sticking to a non lethal weapon but you've outdone me with a rational and reasoned idea.
 

Archie_tect

De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold + Horace
Location
Northumberland
...with a smile and a song. "Isn't it a lovely day to be out in the rain...."

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnVvwHR9QIA&feature=related
 

TVC

Guest
A wise choice in that you only benefit if it is somehow used against you. Unfortunately I am a petty and vindictive man and long to batter all those who get in my ruddy way. I thought I was being noble by sticking to a non lethal weapon but you've outdone me with a rational and reasoned idea.
I assume that must have been you on the Great Central Way who rode straight at a couple with a small kid shouting "We stay on the left in this country, you *****" :thumbsup:
 

PaulB

Legendary Member
Location
Colne
...with a smile and a song. "Isn't it a lovely day to be out in the rain...."
No, it bloody well isn't. There's stair-rods of rain plummeting from the sky, for your bloody infor-bloody-mation! Still, we've got our Olympic Gold Medallist doing a lap of honour of the town starting at two o'clock, then Mungo Jerry then Joan Armour-plating. That's is the D-i-L times her contractions conveniently.
 

GrumpyGregry

Here for rides.
Honestly whatever happened to bazookas? It's all r.p.g. this and r.p.g. that these days. The only time you hear about bazookas nowadays is in the tabloids when they use it as an analogy for tits.
A bazooka is a form of RPG launcher. Not all RPG launchers are Bazooka's.

I don't want some piece of antique artillery fitted to my bike, I want the latest model, like what they use in the middle east.
 
OP
Cyclopathic

Cyclopathic

Veteran
Location
Leicester.
I assume that must have been you on the Great Central Way who rode straight at a couple with a small kid shouting "We stay on the left in this country, you *****" :thumbsup:
No, I'm the very embodiment of politeness when I'm on the GCW. That is bloody outrageous. I'm only violent and rude in theory and then only with a wiffle bat. That's boomin' outrageous behaviour is that. Most cyclists on there are pretty good and considerate. I'm shocked.
 
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