I think I could be a pro cyclist but...

[deptfordmarmoset]

It depends on how many French letters i had.

Didn't the Royal Mail issue you with a capote anglaise?

 

[HorTs]

Just a quick update, I've learnt to ride with no hands now. I'm no so good at nostril clearing - is this a must?

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Oh yeah - nostril clearing is a must indeed. I can do that with one hand, I've got loads of years experience too. Can't be arsed being a pro tho' as the cafe stops are cr&p

 

[Accy cyclist]

I've recently been trying the no handed stuff. I cover the bars as normal but a centimeter away from touching them,so if i wobble i can grip the bars.

 

[Keith Oates]

I've won many races and crossed the line with arms in the air.......the only problem is that when I wake up there's nobody there to congratulate me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Freds Dad]

I can't ride a bike. Do I need to be able to do this to get into a pro team?

 

[pauldavid]

I can't ride a bike. Do I need to be able to do this to get into a pro team?

Not at all.

You could be the Heated Beverage Technician, basically sitting on the bus with a good book until you see the boys coming back then jump up and make them all a brew.

Followed by telling them all to grow up and get a proper bloody job and stop just riding round on your bike all day like big kids on their school holidays.

After all, why should they have all the bloody fun. Let them get a normal job and be pissing miserable like the rest of us


Bitter? Me? Not at all!

 

[Drago]

I could easily be a pro cyclist I weren't middle aged, fat and slow. Remove those minor obstacles and I could be the next Lance Dopestrong.

 

[postman]

I could be a pro cyclist but i look horrible in lycra bib shorts.

 

[Saluki]

The only thing stopping me is my aim. I cannot, for the life of me, throw a bidon straight as to crack someone around the lug with it. The pro lot seem to do this with unswerving accuracy. I've tried a lot. The time taken to go back and fetch the bidon slows me down too.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I was once offered a job riding in a pro team but i didn't like the design of their kit so i turned them down!

 

[HorTs]

I was once offered a job riding in a pro team but i didn't like the design of their kit so i turned them down!

Was it in Columbia?

 

[Retribution03]

I turned a few pro teams down as they wouldn't let me use my own shorts and those really tight lycra ones they use are not good when you are hung like a hamster so would be too embarrassed to keep getting on the winners podium and my lack of sausage being posted in the rags mags and t'web. ...true story guv :0

 

[w00hoo_kent]

I turned a few pro teams down as they wouldn't let me use my own shorts and those really tight lycra ones they use are not good when you are hung like a hamster so would be too embarrassed to keep getting on the winners podium and my lack of sausage being posted in the rags mags and t'web. ...true story guv :0

Have you not seen the latest accessories from Wiggle?

 

[BigonaBianchi]

i tried this several times with 'limited success'.......i rode at speed and slowly and once even tried the arms in the air approach.....each time I came close to death....more practice required....luckily no pro team would ever even think about me...im too tall...and old ....lol!