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Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Melvil, 6 Jan 2008.

  1. Melvil

    Melvil Standard nerd

    ...Was absolutely rammed today...full of screaming kids and bewildered, angry and confused adults. Also, and more embarrassingly, I managed to get lost not once but twice :eek:, causing SWMBO and I to have a 'little chat'.

    Does anyone else have tales of utterly hopeless and miserable sunday shopping?
  2. Globalti

    Globalti Legendary Member

    Not just Sunday.... ANY shopping.
  3. domtyler

    domtyler Über Member

  4. never go to Ikea at the weekend

    try not to go as a couple... fights will ensue.

    get hoover cakes and lingonberry jam to compensate for the trip
  5. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    you should have gone across the car park to costco for respite :eek:
  6. OP

    Melvil Standard nerd

    Tell me about it. Even I could see the funny side of being thick enough to get lost in what amounts to rectangular space. SWMBO, however, did not join in the hilarity!

    I must admit, as a way, of lightening the buttock-clenching boredom of interiors-shopping, I tried and find an amusingly named product, something like Baastat or Ploppe but no joy. Come to think of it, that's probably how I got myself lost.
  7. OP

    Melvil Standard nerd

    Aye! - BTW has anyone tried that cider/perry stuff they have in cans by the checkout? It looks pretty scary!
  8. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    next time melvil, take your camera (preferably a really big, obvious slr or similar) and try to take some shots in the showroom area. apparently they're not overly keen on that sort of thing.
  9. OP

    Melvil Standard nerd

    Really? Maybe I will. I must admit, I like the idea of (female) Ikea security guards - following the Swedish stereotype they might actually try to **** me to the ground(!)

    Oh, and apparently Ikea have released products with 'funny' names, here's an extract from wiki: Product names

    While exotic-sounding names draw attention, e.g., in anglophone countries, a number of them call for a snicker. Notable examples are "Jerker" desk, "Fartfull" workbench, or "Lessebo" sofa. [8] The products were withdrawn, probably after someone pointed out the blunders, but not before generating some news.
  10. Pete

    Pete Guest

    There is a way of dealing with IKEA.
    You need to follow the yellow brick road. On no account look to right or left. If you notice items of furniture strategically positioned around your route, ignore them. They are only there as booby traps.
    Kids should be deposited in the plastic balls room. With luck they will be completely submerged, and they then become IKEA's problem, not yours.
    Do not on any account buy anything.
    If you need to go to the loo, use a dark corner of the car park. The toilets in IKEA are also booby-trapped.
    Alternatively, look up the product code on the website before setting out on your journey. Then, go straight to the warehouse, skipping the yellow brick road entirely. Ensure you take your lawyer with you, you will need him/her when (a) you give yourself a hernia manoeuvring the flat-pack on to a trolley, and (:eek: the till gobbles up your credit card.

    Hope that these few handy tips will enhance the pleasure of your visit. Enjoy!
  11. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    how is it you go just for the cheap batteries and tea lights, but end up with nearly £100 of stuff, none of which on its own costs more than a fiver. a mate of mine works near warrington and gets his wife to specify what's required, which he then "man shops" for on his way home. probably saves them a fortune, but she's not a fan of the arrangement.
  12. Chuffy

    Chuffy Veteran

    It isn't a shop. It's a lab maze and we are all just rats.
    I hate IKEA.
  13. Mister Paul

    Mister Paul Legendary Member

    when we have to go we always go first thing. It's quiet then, and there's no queue for the face painting.
  14. alecstilleyedye

    alecstilleyedye nothing in moderation Staff Member

    i take it you have a shave first thing that morning then :eek:
  15. Mister Paul

    Mister Paul Legendary Member

    I should start charging for these lead-ins.