I'm American. Ask me anything.

[Cycleops]

Is it true that Barack Obama was born in Russia and his real name is Trotsky Osama?

I thought that was Jeremy Corbyn's original name.

 

[Rocky]

Is true that Jerry’s springer spaniel is called Woof?

 

[MichaelW2]

Ask yourself:
"Why were they all herded there?"

to which the answer is probably self-evident.

In Hawaii they used to serve up virgins to the volcano gods. In California they don't have any virgins but the next best thing to assuage the Earthquake god is a hot celebrity.

 

[Chris S]

Why is Kansas City not in Kansas?

Why is Washington not in Washington?

 

[Drago]

Is The Rock really made from rock?

 

[anothersam]

The birds you call robins. They are not robins.

It’s named after the European Robin, which should be flattered.

Also passenger pigeons, how did you manage to kill the whole lot?

Wasn’t me, guv. But my ancestors were apparently very good shots.

View: https://youtu.be/r4SF22qFxbE

Who shot JFK?

Some reckon the Warren Commission put the final bullet in him.

Can you drive stick shift?

Yes! Though not legally in the UK, as I only took the test for automatic.

Westerns: when did people stop speaking in old timey accents and start speaking in generic American accents?

When everybody realised the times they were a-changin’.

Why are your accents so similar, despite some areas being 1000s of miles apart? There might be a noticable difference in accent between Washington and Florida, but to the untrained ear it's not completely different. In contrast, Norwich and Liverpool are only 250 miles apart but the accent is chalk and cheese

Adjust the high gain on your universal translator…?

View: https://youtu.be/6E4TOHGO0Ms

Why is your world war 2 much shorter than everyone elses world war 2?

Just lucky I guess.

Why is Donald Trump a mere President and not your Emperor?

If it was in the Constitution, he would be.

Why do your fellow citizens have to wrap brown paper round their grog when out in public? Does it keep their beer cool?

To keep from getting arrested in many jurisdictions. Plus it adds an atmospheric seediness to our drinking.

What's your opinion on self defence, automatic or revolver?

Personally? Running or preferably riding away very fast. As a neighbourhood watch? Anti-tank guns and stun grenades.

You asked for it!
Hersheys.... why?
Four way stop signs...?
Tootsie rolls (the devil's grilled toenails)... why? (and why if people like them do they turn their noses up at Marmite? Unbelievable)
Peanut butter and jelly... nah, you get the idea.

Hersheys - It’s chocolate, until you know better.
Stop signs? A chance to hone your skills at sussing your opponents’ weakness.
Tootsie rolls are fine in my book, until I actually eat one again on a Hallowe’en inspired whim.
Peanut butter and jelly/jam is right up there with root beer; I won’t hear a word said against either. Provided it’s decent peanut butter.

Do a lot Americans really think that professional wrestling is real..... but the moon landing is faked ?

Define “a lot”. As a percentage of the population, doubtful, despite many an unscientific survey. It would be instructive to see a Venn diagram of these folks, and those beamed up into flying saucers for colonoscopies.

The movie was awesome, btw.

View: https://youtu.be/C5QRedcFBc0

I'm a fairly regular visitor across the pond and have come to the conclusion that there is much more to be admired than laughed at about the very little I know about the good old US of A. I would love to explore a bit more of it but family constraints mean my experience is all from the beautiful south and whilst I don't always get it, I do just throw myself into the whole concept of life in the south and I've come to enjoy the whole experience. Great country with some really great people and I'm due back in October for a wedding but reckon the travel restrictions will still be in place so will need to wait and see.

It really is a couple of countries in one. Would take lifetimes to explore properly. I highly recommend William Least Heat Moon’s book, ‘Blue Highways’. I read it as a teenager and was inspired to hit the road.

Eye Rack
Why say it like that ?

Because that’s how it looks and we’re a plain speaking people.

Why don't you pronounce the H in Cool Whip.

Because the H is fraternising too closely with the W for comfort. Great clip.

Why did I get asked for age I.D in a bar in Danvers, nr Boston? WHY?

Without seeing a picture of you, there is insufficient data to proceed.
How fun would it have been to have Ming the Merciless on your ID.

Who is paying for that wall BTW?

It’s the honour system: leave tip in the box next to the wall.

Why are Kirby vacuum salesmen such utter kunts ?

The job sucks.
You handed me that on a silver platter.

The founding fathers wrote into the constitution the right to bear arms. Would they have written it if AK47s were around at the time and not weapons that took a minute to load and fire one shot.

Thanks for submitting your application for Supreme Court Justice. We could use fewer strict constructionists.

What's so special about the right to bare arms? Shouldn't people have the right to bare legs as well?

Fortunately homonyms are protected under the First Amendment.

How many berries are in Glastonbury?

There is no First Amendment here.

 

[anothersam]

Is it always raining in North Virginia?

Yes, to balance out California.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEMJ2AnEg6s

What is it with you guys and small caps? And typography generally?

I was unable to find a reference to a USAian predilection for small caps, but am open to links. As for typography, lo and behold, I used to be a typesetter. What’s the beef, exactly?

Tools of the trade

Rulers rule

who puts the germolene in dr.peppers

This was news to me. A possible cure for Covid-19?

Do you know Emperor Trump? Does he come to your house for tea and to play with your guns? Can you get me his autograph, or perhaps a job a Whitehouse Press Secretary?

Although I used to work in a bookstore in retail space he owned in NYC, we never ran into each other. I did meet someone who bumped into him in an elevator and was propositioned short of grabbing.

Tom Scott explains why we have separate water taps in the UK.

Thanks for that clip.

As an aside @anothersam I love your dry wit, you could pass for a Brit

I like what you did there. Posting about taps, and then dry wit.

Why did the Coca-Cola company cover up the fact that the Nazis invented Fanta?

Probably so they wouldn’t get their customers mad.

View: https://youtu.be/GxtZpFl3pPM

Why do Americans conduct atmospheric A bomb tests, chuck Agent Orange about the place, fire depleted uranium shells at Iraqistani soldiers, but then get upset when VW cars pollute a wee bit more than they're supposed to?

Mostly addressed in a previous reply. As for “the people’s car”, the massaging of public opinion is what makes the wheels go round.

View: https://youtu.be/ojtMtIyD6dM

Sorry it's provided you with a lot more work than you could have imagined.

Be careful what you ask for, eh?

Tell us about your home state. What is to recommend about it?

Ohio has a great bike museum.

Neil Armstrong was born and lived much of his life there. He was one cool cat.

View: https://youtu.be/dNlZXso0-I4

There's the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I've never been, but a guy from the other side of my village has.
https://youtu.be/houFuiYrEi0

A lot of boring presidents where Ohioans.

Boring? Speak for yourself.

Boring sounds pretty good right around now, doesn’t it?

 

[gbb]

Why is so much apparent 'tat' in shows such as Auction Hunters, Storage Wars etc, worth so much money ?
$70 for a tatty table, $150 for a pretty mundane dressing table from the 1970s ?
Youd be lucky to get a fiver for such items here. How much do Americans earn for chrissakes ?

 

[Yellow Fang]

So, you're from Ohio. Do a lot of people get Ohio and Iowa mixed up?

 

[Yellow Fang]

Why is so much apparent 'tat' in shows such as Auction Hunters, Storage Wars etc, worth so much money ?
$70 for a tatty table, $150 for a pretty mundane dressing table from the 1970s ?
Youd be lucky to get a fiver for such items here. How much do Americans earn for chrissakes ?

Yes, and also, I have a sneaky suspicion some of those items were planted, and that some of those bidders may be actors.

 

[Yellow Fang]

Do you think Harry and Megham will eventually become king and queen of America?

 

[MichaelW2]

How did you put a man on the moon using pounds, feet, nautical miles.

 

[figbat]

How did you put a man on the moon using pounds, feet, nautical miles.

They only pretended it was in old units.

 

[Rocky]

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

 

[cyberknight]

Wasn’t me, guv. But my ancestors were apparently very good shots.

View: https://youtu.be/r4SF22qFxbE

Original was better

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruTdCaAWTNA