In search of a calmer me.

[MarkF]

Ah, there's the rub - it is an option. But, as I've said previously, I'm inclined to stand up to bullies and am currently weighing up the options of altering a route for the sake of a quiet life and bowing to their intimidation, or doing something about it. And don't worry, I've been told on numerous occasions throughout my life that I something make things difficult for myself.

Hi Jon, I started off, nervous, again at 40 and once confident I joined cycle forums and began to understand and use cycle road craft. I soon became a raging miltant rider, no driver would escape my venom should he do something I didn't "like". Travelling to Leeds each day along the main v.busy Aire Valley arterial route provided incident after incident, some funny some not so funny, I knew the route like the back of my hand, I might let a miscreant go, but I knew where I'd catch him up. And I would, and sparks would fly, often mirrors and wiper blades too, and all for what? To make a point? To not back down? I had zero enjoyment on my bike.

For years now, I've just let it all go, there is no point in starting or having any dialogue with numbskulls, now, it's got to be something particularly dangerous, reckless and scary (for me) that makes me do or say anything, that might be once a month, before it was several times each day. I read posts in the "commuting" forum saying "Look, look, look at what this driver did" and I look at the accompanying video and think "I wouldn't even have bothered to dwell on it, never mind download a video and post a rant".

I enjoy all my riding now and ride more and more, life's too short to give your time away, let it all go, you'll soon get used to it.

 

[Pat "5mph"]

I am new to cycling,but I only ride traffic free Sustrans routes,canal paths or forest trails etc as I am terrified to cycle on the roads in this country. And this from a guy who has ridden motorbikes for nearly 30 years!

Get some cycle training, it helps a lot.
You will still get the occasional close pass or road rage abuse; still, we cannot limit ourselves: one day you might have an emergency that requires riding on road.

 

[Jon George]

I enjoy all my riding now and ride more and more, life's too short to give your time away, let it all go, you'll soon get used to it.

Appreciate your thoughts. On reflection, I've decided to change my route. You're right, life is too short to be caught up in other people's personality inadequacies - I'll keep my metal for the things that really matter in life. I can't promise I'll change overnight, but the new, chilled me, is coming along. Thanks, again.

 

[Accy cyclist]

If it makes anyone feel a bit better,i was out last night when i was confronted by a couple of chavs on those low seat high handlebar objects coming at me on the wrong side of the road! They were effing this and that at me to move so i did, then emptied my water bottle over them as we passed.

 

[GrumpyGregry]

Ah, there's the rub - it is an option. But, as I've said previously, I'm inclined to stand up to bullies and am currently weighing up the options of altering a route for the sake of a quiet life and bowing to their intimidation, or doing something about it. And don't worry, I've been told on numerous occasions throughout my life that I something make things difficult for myself.

They aren't really bullies, you know. They are just incompetent drivers.

 

[byegad]

Ah, there's the rub - it is an option. But, as I've said previously, I'm inclined to stand up to bullies and am currently weighing up the options of altering a route for the sake of a quiet life and bowing to their intimidation, or doing something about it. And don't worry, I've been told on numerous occasions throughout my life that I something make things difficult for myself.

Take the other route! Life is way too short to let idiots wind you up. They win every time you get upset by their antics. I reply to such types with a vacant smile and a wave that looks friendly but goes on way too long. IF anyone stops to challenge this I have my reply ready. 'My Grandmother drives a car/van/motorcycle/lorry just like that.' As I'm 62 this will confuse the hell out of them.

 

[Hip Priest]

Hi Jon, I started off, nervous, again at 40 and once confident I joined cycle forums and began to understand and use cycle road craft. I soon became a raging miltant rider, no driver would escape my venom should he do something I didn't "like". Travelling to Leeds each day along the main v.busy Aire Valley arterial route provided incident after incident, some funny some not so funny, I knew the route like the back of my hand, I might let a miscreant go, but I knew where I'd catch him up. And I would, and sparks would fly, often mirrors and wiper blades too, and all for what? To make a point? To not back down? I had zero enjoyment on my bike.

For years now, I've just let it all go, there is no point in starting or having any dialogue with numbskulls, now, it's got to be something particularly dangerous, reckless and scary (for me) that makes me do or say anything, that might be once a month, before it was several times each day. I read posts in the "commuting" forum saying "Look, look, look at what this driver did" and I look at the accompanying video and think "I wouldn't even have bothered to dwell on it, never mind download a video and post a rant".

I enjoy all my riding now and ride more and more, life's too short to give your time away, let it all go, you'll soon get used to it.

Ah yes, the 'militant cyclist' phase. It's quite common at that stage of a cyclist's development. It happened to me too. You're armed with all this fresh knowledge about the rules of the road, and you can't wait to show lesser mortals the error of their ways.

But soon you feel unsatisfied, and you come to a fork in the road. One way says 'Time to calm down'. The other says 'Buy an Airzound'.

Choose wisely my children.

 

[Ganymede]

I reply to such types with a vacant smile and a wave that looks friendly but goes on way too long.

I do this too!

 

[Cuchilo]

When I first got back on a road bike I was Mr Angry man as it seemed that when I got out of my white van and on a bike with a helmet people gave me shoot . I didn't get that shoot when in the van so why put up with it now .
I had people using the car / jeep to side swipe me because I hand gestured to them that they where a self-gratification artist but I found out pretty fast that they wont get out the car so figured whats the point of me stressing out because they are stupid .
I still tell people they are a self-gratification artist if I think so but I don't really need to be on a bike to do that
Now if im out for a ride I just let them by and don't even bother thinking about them . Work stresses me out enough so to pull over for a few seconds to let a prick pass me rather than kill me really isn't a problem .
The added bonus is that they will be shocked and give a cheery wave as a thankyou .
Give it a go as doing what you are now doesn't seem to be working for you .

 

[slowmotion]

As someone up-thread so aptly put it, I have not reached the state of donning orange robes, but I'm working on it. I have found that festering about a really bad piece of driving makes me unhappier than blocking out the memory. Sometimes I lose my rag and have "verbals" but only with people who have really badly endangered me and should know better. Being carved up by a mixer truck or coach can bring on the red mist.
One day, I may reach a state of such enlightenment that even those vehicles won't require a languid, rhythmic hand gesture and mouthing something about anchors.

 

[steveindenmark]

I find carrying a good old fashioned toffee hammer in the rear pocket of my jersey works well. it can be used effectively on car mirrors, it hurts people but doesn't cause too much damage to them and is easy to dispose of. :0)

Steve

 

[Stephen C]

I calmed down as soon as I realised that when I got angry, I would ride more aggressively and with less care and simply putting myself in dangerous situations. Add to it that the person I was getting angry couldn't give a toss/didn't notice/was happy to wind up a cyclist, and you really don't get any where.

This isn't to say I don't object to dangerous driving, but when done calmly they have nothing to fight back against, and that can annoy people more than anything!

 

[Cuchilo]

I find carrying a good old fashioned toffee hammer in the rear pocket of my jersey works well. it can be used effectively on car mirrors, it hurts people but doesn't cause too much damage to them and is easy to dispose of. :0)

Steve

You could keep a cotton bud in the other jersey pocket as a quarterstaff

 

[MarkF]

I find carrying a good old fashioned toffee hammer in the rear pocket of my jersey works well. it can be used effectively on car mirrors, it hurts people but doesn't cause too much damage to them and is easy to dispose of. :0)

Steve

It was when I started to think of appropriate "tools" that I could easily carry that would shorten the all too frequent time consuming confrontations, that I knew I had to change

 

[craigwend]

Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World (Includes Free CD)

Mindfulness reveals a set of simple yet powerful practices that can be incorporated into daily life to help break the cycle of unhappiness, stress, anxiety and mental exhaustion and promote genuine joie de vivre. It's the kind of happiness that gets into your bones. It seeps into everything you do and helps you meet the worst that life can throw at you with new courage. The book is based on Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT). MBCT revolves around a straightforward form of mindfulness meditation which takes just a few minutes a day for the full benefits to be revealed. MBCT has been clinically proven to be at least as effective as drugs for depression and it is recommended by the UK's National Institute of Clincal Excellence - in other words, it works. More importantly it also works for people who are not depressed but who are struggling to keep up with the constant demands of the modern world. MINDFULNESS focuses on promoting joy and peace rather than banishing unhappiness. It's precisely focused to help ordinary people boost their happiness and confidence levels whilst also reducing anxiety, stress and irritability