Irrational loss of confidence.

[Arjimlad]

I pulled right, out of a T-junction thinking that the approaching HGV would be turning right into the road I had just exited, like most of the traffic each morning. He did not. It's a 50 mph road. So he had to overtake me with oncoming traffic. I was almost on the verge.

It was entirely my fault. I was on autopilot. It woke me up and I've been cautious ever since.

I think it's easier to make mistakes and lose confidence when you are tired.

 

[okie_dirt]

Sorry to resurrect this thread - but I've been suffering this ailment for what seems like the past 2 years. It has completely ruined my confidence on the bike - road / gravel / even mountain for the most part - going for a bottle has become difficult at speed. I've sold off most of my bikes sans a rigid mtb built up for gravel and a proper mtb. drop bars just seemed to cause the problem to be much more intense - flat bars at least made it not as bad(?)

Symptoms started on the road, no wrecks or close calls. But descending tarmac became absolutely terrifying. It was random at first - but over a season, became a guaranteed experience. I've visited my primary physician - got referred to Ear/Nose/Throat doc - those tests all came out fine.
So inner ear was not playing tricks on me.

I can only describe it started out as feeling like I was going to flip over the bars when descending on road, now going for a bottle can be difficult/impossible at anything over 16kph/going downhill (the act of actually removing it from the cage - i can take the hand off bars and grab for jersey pocket just fine it seems) - Anxiety? because if i get a nice light drunk - it does not happen or feels significantly less potent. I've tried marijuana and that makes it 100x worse, trying a variety of flower - same effect. I've experimented with light dosages of benzos and they achieved nothing and not a band-aid I'd prefer using in the end. Just very exhausting, I'm thankful for running - but still, I love(d) being on the bike.

thanks for reading ... maaaybe?
just a pissed off person from across the pond

 

[vickster]

Sorry to resurrect this thread - but I've been suffering this ailment for what seems like the past 2 years. It has completely ruined my confidence on the bike - road / gravel / even mountain for the most part - going for a bottle has become difficult at speed. I've sold off most of my bikes sans a rigid mtb built up for gravel and a proper mtb. drop bars just seemed to cause the problem to be much more intense - flat bars at least made it not as bad(?)

Symptoms started on the road, no wrecks or close calls. But descending tarmac became absolutely terrifying. It was random at first - but over a season, became a guaranteed experience. I've visited my primary physician - got referred to Ear/Nose/Throat doc - those tests all came out fine.
So inner ear was not playing tricks on me.

I can only describe it started out as feeling like I was going to flip over the bars when descending on road, now going for a bottle can be difficult/impossible at anything over 16kph/going downhill (the act of actually removing it from the cage - i can take the hand off bars and grab for jersey pocket just fine it seems) - Anxiety? because if i get a nice light drunk - it does not happen or feels significantly less potent. I've tried marijuana and that makes it 100x worse, trying a variety of flower - same effect. I've experimented with light dosages of benzos and they achieved nothing and not a band-aid I'd prefer using in the end. Just very exhausting, I'm thankful for running - but still, I love(d) being on the bike.

thanks for reading ... maaaybe?
just a pissed off person from across the pond

Perhaps try to organise some counselling, to include talking therapies /CBT. Maybe get yourself a mindfulness book or app too to help manage the symptoms when they occur. Learn some breathing techniques. Maybe even try some hypnotherapy (helped me deal with anxiety when flying).

Alcohol and other drugs aren’t usually a solution to anxiety type issues. Medication can be helpful under medical supervision. What solutions has your doctor offered?

 

[Slick]

Sorry to resurrect this thread - but I've been suffering this ailment for what seems like the past 2 years. It has completely ruined my confidence on the bike - road / gravel / even mountain for the most part - going for a bottle has become difficult at speed. I've sold off most of my bikes sans a rigid mtb built up for gravel and a proper mtb. drop bars just seemed to cause the problem to be much more intense - flat bars at least made it not as bad(?)

Symptoms started on the road, no wrecks or close calls. But descending tarmac became absolutely terrifying. It was random at first - but over a season, became a guaranteed experience. I've visited my primary physician - got referred to Ear/Nose/Throat doc - those tests all came out fine.
So inner ear was not playing tricks on me.

I can only describe it started out as feeling like I was going to flip over the bars when descending on road, now going for a bottle can be difficult/impossible at anything over 16kph/going downhill (the act of actually removing it from the cage - i can take the hand off bars and grab for jersey pocket just fine it seems) - Anxiety? because if i get a nice light drunk - it does not happen or feels significantly less potent. I've tried marijuana and that makes it 100x worse, trying a variety of flower - same effect. I've experimented with light dosages of benzos and they achieved nothing and not a band-aid I'd prefer using in the end. Just very exhausting, I'm thankful for running - but still, I love(d) being on the bike.

thanks for reading ... maaaybe?
just a pissed off person from across the pond

Alcohol or drugs will just exacerbate any anxiety even if it does sometimes feel like you are having temporary relief. Definitely sounds like something that you should be discussing with your Gp for sure. Good luck.

 

[Gravity Aided]

Sorry to resurrect this thread - but I've been suffering this ailment for what seems like the past 2 years. It has completely ruined my confidence on the bike - road / gravel / even mountain for the most part - going for a bottle has become difficult at speed. I've sold off most of my bikes sans a rigid mtb built up for gravel and a proper mtb. drop bars just seemed to cause the problem to be much more intense - flat bars at least made it not as bad(?)

Symptoms started on the road, no wrecks or close calls. But descending tarmac became absolutely terrifying. It was random at first - but over a season, became a guaranteed experience. I've visited my primary physician - got referred to Ear/Nose/Throat doc - those tests all came out fine.
So inner ear was not playing tricks on me.

I can only describe it started out as feeling like I was going to flip over the bars when descending on road, now going for a bottle can be difficult/impossible at anything over 16kph/going downhill (the act of actually removing it from the cage - i can take the hand off bars and grab for jersey pocket just fine it seems) - Anxiety? because if i get a nice light drunk - it does not happen or feels significantly less potent. I've tried marijuana and that makes it 100x worse, trying a variety of flower - same effect. I've experimented with light dosages of benzos and they achieved nothing and not a band-aid I'd prefer using in the end. Just very exhausting, I'm thankful for running - but still, I love(d) being on the bike.

thanks for reading ... maaaybe?
just a pissed off person from across the pond

Chamomille tea works okay for me, or even the by-products of decaffeinated green tea. I have an anxiety about crossing bridges, but I find it is controlled if I:
1-Limit caffeine and soda intake
2-drink chamomille or green tea on a regular basis,
and 3-Stay off the weed and alcohol. I think , personally, that weed makes the anxiety worse. And pot is a great deal stronger than it used to be.

 

[Deleted member 26715]

Buy a Camelback or the Decathlon equivalent no need to reach down then

 

[Donger]

Hope it was a one-off, @Banjo. It has been a while since we rode together, but if it helps I'll be your wingman anytime. I'm coming back over to Wales to do the "Around the Gwendraeth" audax in October if you fancy a bit of company on the road.

 

[Banjo]

Hi Donger Great to hear from you. That incident was several years ago and hasn't reaccured.It was sub zero temp on the day just to add to the stress.
.I have ridden around the Gwendraeth route a couple of times but not on an Audax.Its a scenic tour of Carmarthenshire without being excessively hilly several miles of it is on traffic free paths easily rideable on a road bike.I haven't ridden more than about 50kms for more than a year now would get round it eventually I suppose :-).Enjoy your day in God's own country ,Would be great to join you on it.I will have a look at the calendar and give it some thought ,still 3 weeks away will try and do a few miles in next few weeks and see how it goes.
Cheers

 

[Donger]

Hi Donger Great to hear from you. That incident was several years ago and hasn't reaccured.It was sub zero temp on the day just to add to the stress.
.I have ridden around the Gwendraeth route a couple of times but not on an Audax.Its a scenic tour of Carmarthenshire without being excessively hilly several miles of it is on traffic free paths easily rideable on a road bike.I haven't ridden more than about 50kms for more than a year now would get round it eventually I suppose :-).Enjoy your day in God's own country ,Would be great to join you on it.I will have a look at the calendar and give it some thought ,still 3 weeks away will try and do a few miles in next few weeks and see how it goes.
Cheers

Oh, yes .... OP was in 2015!!!! I'm done with the rat race too now, so should be easy enough to take advantage of any decent weather to come and ride in Wales a bit more. Message me if you do that audax. I might have one other friend coming over with me too.

 

[AuroraSaab]

I think many of us have been through this. I am like this about flying now. Used to enjoy it, now I think about crashing. You know in your logical mind that you will be fine, but when you start feeling a bit down or nervous, logic goes out of the window and irrational fears creep in and your imagination goes into overdrive.

In cognitive therapy, there are lots of exercises that can help you get back to a more rational way of looking at things. You can write stuff down, and then write a rational response. Writing it down in black and white can really help:

'I keep thinking I will fall off the bike'
Response: I might but it's unlikely. I've ridden hundreds of miles without falling off. Even if I do, it is unlikely to be serious.

'I might have to stop riding half way home'
Response: I might, but if I feel like that I can get off and walk for a bit or ride on the pavement.

If you want to keep riding those routes it's important that you keep using the same routes where the original panic attack took place . If you can't face it at your usual time, ride when it's quiet. Otherwise you will associate that site with anxiety and the association of the feeling of panic with that route will make it increasingly difficult to ride it.

If it is at the stage where you don't want to ride at all, could you find a friend to go out with you? As other posters have said, it is very, very common to lose confidence in riding, driving, public speaking, being in crowds, and so many other things, sometimes after an incident, other times out of the blue.

Panic always subsides on it's own after a while. It's just adrenaline triggered by your thoughts..... If you relax your body and your thoughts, it will dissolve on it's own. A good technique is not to fight it (you produce more adrenaline) but to try to 'float' through it. After a couple of major operations in a short period and subsequent ill health, I suffered massively with anxiety and panic attacks for a period of a few years. Anxiety about one thing can soon leech out into the rest of your life too if you are not careful.

A great book for help with negative thoughts is Stop Thinking Start Living by Richard Carlson - usually cheap second hand on Abe books or Amazon. Really hard to type replies on the new format of the forum, so I hope this makes sense. Best wishes.