Irritating things people say to you, when they spot you getting off a bike.

[Racing roadkill]

Why is it that some people just can't help offering pearls of wisdom, which you neither asked for, or wanted?

I had one of my favourites, this morning. "You won't be riding this weekend, the weather looks absolutely dreadful". Wanna bet? Then last weekend, I was in a coffee shop in Winchester. Some random plank in the queue behind me, spotted my cycle kit, and then decided to speak to the guy next to him in a LOUD VOICE, exclaiming that "bloody cyclists, are a bloody menace, they never stop at red lights, they try and run you down on the pavements, they never have lights at night" etc .etc. etc. et bloody cetera. Then my absolute favourite of all. The plank at the pub, who is with someone you actually know, and that person has told them that you ride a bike. Suddenly the plank (who you've probably never met in your life), becomes the worlds greatest authority on bikes and riding. You can just bet your bottom dollar that either they (or more likely someone they are tenuously linked with) has cycled further than you ever have, they've done LEJOG / JOGLE, in two days, on a unicyle, wearing clown shoes, and a blindfold. I guess it's not just linked to cycling, but I seem to have encountered a load more unsolicited, un called for, speeches, when spotted on my bike.

 

[liambauckham]

usually its "OMG NOOOO NOOO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" as i pour petrol on them

 

[glenn forger]

I had similar on City Road, waiting at the cashpoint, off the bike and holding it by the bar stem, bloke behind says "cyclists off pavements".

 

[liambauckham]

"cyclists off pavements".

make bad english. its weird how people seem to react to cycling.

 

[raleighnut]

Best one for me is people saying "I bet you're freezing today, why not get a car" as I've got off the bike at work in winter........................Sweating.

 

[Bazzer]

Any journey other than on a quiet country road usually elicits a "You must be mad"
In my world this isn't referring to the axe velcoed to my crossbar

 

[glenn forger]

"It's unusual to see a cyclist with lights!"

Never know whether to greet that remark with a thanks or an apology.

 

[Cold]

"I'm sorry I didn't see you there"

 

[glenn forger]

"Sir, you are causing a scene, where are your trousers?"

 

[Hip Priest]

A good example was from the Tour of Britain this year. Cycled over to my uncle's and watched the race through his town.

Walking back the house we bumped into his neighbours; the wife a lovely woman, and the husband a typical bumptious fat oaf.

He started moaning 'did you see all the cars and motorbikes?! So much for being green!". Then he started shouting "you'll never catch them" at all the amateur cyclists going past to follow the race, and finally he said "why are they all riding on the road? I don't run onto the pitch after watching the match! Idiots!"

Bear in mind I was stood on my cycling kit the whole time.

 

[Sbudge]

Any journey other than on a quiet country road usually elicits a "You must be mad"
In my world this isn't referring to the axe velcoed to my crossbar

However when passing a fellow cyclist on a very cold and wet day, miles into a long ride "we must be mad!" seems just fine.

 

[mjr]

Honestly, I rarely have this problem any more. I guess that's a perk of living somewhere where cycling is widespread. Strangely, the last time it happened nearby was in Cambridge last year, at a meeting with people from across East Anglia, where despite Cambridge's notoriety as a cycling hotspot, several people asked if I'd really cycled from the rail station.

But in Somerset, people do seem to offer to take you by car any time you're intending to cycle (or walk) for more than about 15 minutes. They mean well but I do have a car which I can usually use if I wanted to. The idea that travelling by bike is fun or convenient did seem alien to some people.

In my world this isn't referring to the axe velcoed to my crossbar

What's velco?

 

[Wolf616]

"That helmet makes you look like a beetle", said the bearded old lady with two walking sticks walking down Kingsway in central London. I laughed in response and agreed with her, before turning back to my bike and starting to unlock it.

Unperturbed she continued, "I think cycling's great. Much better than driving in a car" before leaning in and loudly confiding, "I think we should blow up all cars, that'd make London a much better place!"

I laughed and agreed - both verbally and mentally - before she started to tell me that she didn't like computers, though, and would blow all of them up too. On this point we disagreed, but I didn't make my opinion known.

I had finally finished unlocking my bike and was about to jump on it and cycle away when she leant in once more and asked me, "Do you know what would solve all of our problems though?"

"No" I responded, shaking my beetle-like head.

"If we blew up the eurotunnel to stop all those bloody immigrants coming over here"

All along I'd thought she was just a lovely, eccentric old lady. Turned out she was a massive racist. Bit irritating, that.

 

[Dec66]

I used to shout "gerroff and milk it!!" at cyclists when I was a little kid. I never knew why, other than it being because it was what the bigger kids did.

My favourite now is "You cycle all that way to work and back? Ooh, you must be brave." No, firemen are brave, doctors and nurses in war zones are brave, I'm just a commuter.

 

[Scotchlovingcylist]

My favourite now is "You cycle all that way to work and back? Ooh, you must be brave." No, firemen are brave, doctors and nurses in war zones are brave, I'm just a commuter.

Yeah I sometimes get "you deserve a medal or should be in the local paper for riding all that way"
No, no I shouldn't. I'm not trying to lose weight or save the environment or prove anything, I simply ride to work because I enjoy it.