Is cycling worth a divorce?

[Fran143]

Why bicycles are better than women:

1. A bicycle is ready to go anytime, anywhere.
2. Bicycles know when to keep quiet.
3. You don't have to spend the night with a bicycle after you've ridden it.
4. It's OK to pay for bicycles, you don't have to hang around trying to persuade a free one to let you ride it.
5. You don't have to stay up till 2am discussing your relationship with your bicycle.
6. Bicycles don't get pregnant.
7. You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month.
8. Bicycles don't have parents.
9. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
10. You can share your Bicycle with your friends.
11. A bike won't laugh if you fall off.
12. A bike doesn't care whether or not you take precautions.
13. Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden.
14. When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time.
15. Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have.
16. Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles.
17. Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines.
18. You'll never hear, "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle" unless you go out to buy one yourself.
19. If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it.
20. If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it.
21. If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
22. You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle.
23. If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.
24. You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
25. You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
26. Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it.
27. Bicycles don't get headaches.
28. Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
29. Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles.
30. Bicycles don't care if you're late.
31. You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
32. If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts.
33. You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother.
34. When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Bicycle.

You have got to be single!

 

[funnymummy]

Why bicycles are better then men....

1. Bicycles don't blech, snore or fart.
2. A bicycle never get "too tired".
3. Bicycles don't leave dirty socks and/or underwear all over the floor.
4. Bicycles don't work late.
5. Your Bicycle stays as clean as you want it to.
6. Bicycles don't have parents .
7. Bicycles don't get man flu.
8. A bicycle never tries to be in control.
9. Bicycles let you know when something is wrong.
10. A bicycle does not worry obsessively about the size of its crank.
11. Bicycles don't get overweight, except as per your convenience.
12. A bicycle will never ask "Are you gaining weight?"
13. A bicycle will never dump you for a younger, sexier rider.
14. If your Bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
15. If your Bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
16. You can check out the guy who works on your Bicycle.
17. If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.
18. Your Bicycle always has time for you.
19. Bicycles don't complain and don't ride away from you when the road gets rough.
20. Bicycles don't watch TV.
21. Bicycles don't shave.
22. Bicycles don't leave a mess in the kitchen or bathroom.
23. Bicycles are better protection in a bad neighborhood.
24. If you don't like the size of your bicycle you can get a new one.
25. You can try out as many bikes as you like before you get your own.
26. You don't have to feed your bicycle.
27. Bicycles never argue, you are always right.
28. Bicycles never wake you up in the middle of the night, for any reason.
29. Bicycles never try to show you off to their friends.
30. Bicycles don't come home drunk after a night out with its buddies.
31. Bicycles don't sneak around with other bicycles.
32. Bicycles don't care what you look like or what your age is.
33. Bicycles don't care and don't comment about what you spend your money on.
34. Bicycles don't care if you have to work late.
35. When you go riding, your bicycle doesn't care if other bicycles are bigger or out of town.
36. You don't have to explain to a bike if you don't feel like a ride.
37. Bicycles never put you down.
38. Bicycles don't complain if you wear "sensible" clothes.
39. Bicycles don't have egos.
40. Bicycles don't refuse to ask for directions when they're lost.
41. Bicycles don't need remote control units.
42. When you're lost you don't have to argue with it about stopping for directions.
43. When it's going too fast into a curve you can slow it down.
44. When you need someone to ride with it's happy to go.
45. You buy the tools it needs; it doesn't buy tools that never get used.
46. You don't have to explain to it the need for matching jersey and shorts.
47. You don't have to continually assure it that its crank length is just right.
48. You determine the length and frequency of the rides, and you're always on top.
49. It never finishes before you do.
50. It doesn't complain about you going out to dinner with your women friends rather than staying at home with it.
51. You never get helpful suggestions from its mother.
52. It will ride with you even on Super Bowl Sunday.
53. It never complains if you put on a few pounds.
54. When its dysfunctional you know how to get it fixed (and know that it can be fixed).
55. If you decide to get a new bicycle you don't have to give up more than half of everything you have.
56. It will never earn more that you do for the same job just because it's a bicycle.
57. It never spends a "night out with the bikes" and comes home with a strange rash on its saddle.
58. It will never turn into a beer bellied blob of metal on the couch in front of the TV.

 

[screenman]

Joking aside, my wife often tells me to get out on the bike. She is also the one that encourages me to buy a new one when the need arises. This time she is not behind me, I know I have been lucky to have her.

Money what is mine is ours and what is hers is hers, she tells me this is how the stuff works.

 

[Archie_tect]

Jesus !

What?

 

[cyberknight]

First: Cycling is not worth a divorce. 2nd: Do you devote enough attention to her as mush as you devote to your bicycle? if No, try to devote more attention to her. 3rd: when you are with her, do you talk excessively about cycling or not? if so, try not to mention cycling when you are having couple time, try to talk about things that involves both of you. Talk over it with her please

+1

 

[slowmotion]

It is all about the training, I married mine when she was 17 and have put the last 37 years into getting her trained properly. She is absolutely perfect in every way and standing behind me, Ouch!!

Great post screenman. Thanks.

 

[screenman]

As for being embarrassed about wearing lycra, a pair of rolled up socks gives some guys a lot more confidence.

 

[paddy01]

As for being embarrassed about wearing lycra, a pair of rolled up socks gives some guys a lot more confidence.

Trust me, I don't look any better in lycra for the addition of a fake pair of bristols.

 

[G-Zero]

My missus is normally very good and runs as much as I cycle, but she caught me off guard a couple of weeks before Christmas with an unexpected whinge. It was only unexpected as I normally anticipate them.

I'd commuted both ends of the day for the whole week, with rucsac, in the dark and in whatever atrocious weather was thrown at me that week and was really looking forward to an offroad, daylight leisure ride on the Sunday; and got nagged for always being out on my bike ??

I worked it out that it was probably a month since the last time I was on it for pleasure rather than commuting.

Anyway, by the time I got back she was speaking again.

 

[screenman]

Speaking again, beware it is a ploy she is after something.

 

[Bicycle]

A bicycle will never bring you a cup of tea.
A bicycle will never say it loves you.
I love my bicycles, but only in the way I love a car or a piece of music or a building.
Bollocks to bicycles; keep the marriage.
If you can keep both, all the better. If it's a choice, there is no choice.
(Unless you made a solemn promise to nurture and love your bicycle in good times and in bad - which I doubt)

 

[colly]

Gav, you say 'she is always complaining' about it. How long has she been grumbling about it? Days? Months? Years?

I wouldn't dream of moaning at my Mrs when she is dressed to go to volleyball or off to yoga. She would be understandably upset. Why would I deliberately put down my wife and make her feel bad about herself?
Perhaps more to the point why does your Mrs feel she has to make you feel bad about yourself?

I'm not sure what I would do if I had the same. Piss taking I get. Mrs, kids, partners of kids, but that's ok. It's done in good humour and even with affection. Besides..........I don't give a stuff. But I really can not imagine anyone getting seriously upset about my cycling gear.

More going on here than meets the eye.

Next time she gets dressed up to go to work or out for the evening try going off on one and have a rant about how crap she looks. When she gets out of her pram or upset ask her why. Ask her also why she feels it's ok for her to do the same when you go out.

Ok scrap that last idea, maybe not such a good plan.

 

[BigonaBianchi]

Just ignore her and get on with what you want to do ..

 

[ianrauk]

the reason mrs ian likes me cycling is that when I am out on the bike she knows I am not boozing it up and/or getting in trouble at the football.

 

[RecordAceFromNew]

I find fault in others at times when I am unhappiest with myself,it's always easier to criticise or lash out than admit I may be having a wee troubled spell....not always hormonal but normally linked to lack of chocolate and digits on scales...oh and work, house, family. So perhaps as you say, the two of you have things going on that can cause reactions and tensions in areas where they probably shouldn't exist. Keep positive though.

+1.

Any man who has been living with a woman long enough should know that their questions and comments must not be interpreted literally, as in "Do I look good in this outfit?" is generally not seeking an assessment, but an approval. Unfortunately imho she is nearly certainly unhappy about something, most likely related to you, but your lycra quite likely has little to do with it.