papercorn2000 said:
It may not be as applicable in this specific case, but I heard on the radio recently someone lamenting the loss of a child. They spoke about having lost not only the child but also the teenager and their travails, the young adult on the cusp of making their own way in the world, the college graduation, the wedding and ultimately the grandchildren. They put it in a particularly poignant way which made me feel suddenly very sad.
I've never been one for public speaking but a few years ago I attended the funeral of a baby, born to my mum's best friend's son and his wife. They had travelled down to London to meet their first grand child within a few hours of him being born but as soon as they arrived back in Hereford received a call that the baby had aquired a massive infection and had died. Pure joy turned to terrible grief in a matter of hours.
I attended the funeral with my mum (she needed the support). The service was held in a beautiful modern wooden chapel in the Forest of Dean. The parents were/ are members of an evangelical ministry and had, it seemed, brought most of the congregation with them. Their 'minister' used the occasion to preach. At no point in the 'ceremony' did he refer to the tiny tiny white coffin in the corner of the room. It was so sad. I wanted to stand up and say something. I couldn't because it wasn't my gig but
we all left thinking that at no point had he mentioned the actual
loss.
I don't have kids but I know a few. You imagine how their lives will pan out, how their characters will form, the influence they'll have on those around them, how they in turn will spawn new uns and life goes on. At no point did he acknowledge the loss of life, of lost potential, of the little person in the box who didn't get to experience any of the things we take for granted. Sunlight, love, pain, learning to walk, ride a bike, not even his mother's tit.
They all, including the parents, walked out actually smiling. 'He's in heaven now'.
