Job interview mistakes

[meenaghman]

I had to do one of those aptitude test things for Nat west in Dublin years ago..it was one of those red files green file blue files..contained plain receipts invoices and x respectively.with a whole pile of other conditions.. bottom line I took a look at this and wrote if this is how Nat west do business when a computer would do the task in no time..then count me out. I still got called to the next phase in the process..but I don't think I really wanted to be a market / commodity trader..
Another interview for are Lingus ..late 80s..and before Ryan air..for pilot..but I knew eyesight may bar me but was also only using it as practice. I did compare a pilot to a glorified bus driver which the precious souls didn't like at the time. I also suggested it would be a good thing to try and see if a jumbo jet could loop the loop..The interviewers didn't know if I was joking or being serious poor things.

 

[Cubist]

Unless they're all called Guy?

Wot, all of them?

 

[ASC1951]

Wot, all of them?

Yep, all of them.

View: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FU-tuY0Z7nQ

 

[Melonfish]

when i was down on my luck after the census project finished in 2001, i was doing some temp work. small things.
anyways i went along to office angels and saw the very nice lady there and gave her all my details.
she says to me, "we'll need you to do an aptitude test on the computer to make sure you're ok with them"
well as i work primarily in IT i was not worried.
i sit down at said terminal and she can't get it to work.. she's a little worried at this point as its the only one they have, so i offered to fix it for them, and i did. then aced the test to boot.
a week later i found myself as a field engineer for a large Engineering firm with a local office. i was temp for 3 months then applied for the position and got it.

funny thing aswell, i'd just come out of my interview for this engineering firm, the big boss is in a pow-wow with the chap who'd be my immediate boss when the wife rings.
"whats up?"
"I'm pregnant"
"AWHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?"

thankfully after 5 mins of total and utter blind panic about where the hell i was going to get the money to fund said child from the big boss walks over and offers me the position.
i've NEVER let the missus live this down, if i'd had some congenital heart defect i guarentee at that point it would have given out lol.

 

[Adasta]

funny thing aswell, i'd just come out of my interview for this engineering firm, the big boss is in a pow-wow with the chap who'd be my immediate boss when the wife rings.
"whats up?"
"I'm pregnant"
"AWHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU?"

I'd be really annoyed if that call came out of the blue.

The best way to deliver such news would be to order a takeaway. Then, at the point where I have gorged to such an extent that I cannot move or speak, tell me the news. I might vomit from shock, but there's certainly no way I'd be able to get all worked up about things.

 

[asterix]

'Thank you I'd like to accept your offer of the job.'

What a crappy job that turned out to be.

 

[PK99]

when graduating 30 odd years ago, i had interviews with two different bits of Marconi.

I somehow managed to travel to the wrong interview on the right day - but they saw me anyway, as did the other.

I was still offered both jobs!!

 

[Arch]

when graduating 30 odd years ago, i had interviews with two different bits of Marconi.

I read that as 'macaroni', and was very confused about the nature of the job. Sous chef in a very tiny Italian restaurant?

 

[MossCommuter]

Worst interview ever

Looking for a sandwich-year job and having been shown round British Steel in Port Talbot, being introduced to the utterly miserable chap I would be taking over from:

Interviewer: "Have you any other irons in the fire?"

MossCommuter: "Yes, to be honest, with IBM in Portsmouth"

Interviewer: "Is there any point me continuing?"

MossCommuter: "No, I don't think so"

Interviewer: "OK, thanks for coming... Let us know if you change your mind".

Best interview ever:

Interviewer: "Let's see... where did you go to University... hmmm, Aberystwyth eh? I remember it well... when can you start?"

MossCommuter: "Errm, Monday?"

Interviewer: "Lovely job, see you then then.. tra"

 

[Hover Fly]

When I had just left the army, I saw a vacancy for a tree-feller in the local comic. Rang up ...
Future Boss, "Can you work a chainsaw?"
Me, "Yes, I've got Fastco (Forestry safety training) certificates 1, 2 and 3"
FB, "Never mind them ******* can you work a ******** chainsaw or not?"
Me, "Yes"
FB, "You start Monday".
Strangely enough within a week I was put on snegging with a horse-because I was the only one she didn't try to kick or bite-and hardly touched a saw after that.

 

[vernon]

A friend of mine failed to get a job at a church school when he answered the question, "How strong is your christian faith?" with, "Slightly weaker than Doubting Tomas' "

I have no reason to disbelieve him. He had the natural ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

One bit of advice:

When the interviewer asks you

'And why would you like the job?'

DON'T say

'For the money'


I have never done it, but apparently some people do.

 

[asterix]

One bit of advice:

When the interviewer asks you

'And why would you like the job?'

DON'T say

'For the money'


I have never done it, but apparently some people do.

I never did think you were a banker.

 

[Bluebell72]

I was very happy in one job but my big managers thought I should be going into management, and sent me for an interview at another establishment. To not go would have been terrible, so I decided to go, and not really try with the interview - I really didn't want the job.
It was weird to be in the room with the other candidates, waiting to be called, when the atmosphere is so charged with hope, and a need to shine, and I was just thinking 'get me out of here'.

In the interview, I answered all the questions honestly, I could see they were really happy, the three interviewers were grinning at me. Then came the clinch question - 'where do you see yourself in five years time?'

I think they were hoping for me to say 'running my own unit, senior management level' blah blah, but I answered honestly and said 'I hope to be self-employed'.

Three smiles evaporated.

Amazingly, I was offered the job. I didn't take it. I am self-employed, never looked back

------

Mr B, on the other hand, gets to interview loads of school leavers and long-term unemployeds and makes it a priority to check their facebook page and google them before any decisions are taken.
He says this is by far a better indicator of their characater than the interview - one person was bragging about trashing the house of some neighbours while they were on holiday. Nice.

 

[Globalti]

Worst interview ever

Looking for a sandwich-year job and having been shown round British Steel in Port Talbot, being introduced to the utterly miserable chap I would be taking over from:

That's funny, I had an interview at British Steel in Port Talbot, scanning trade journals for interesting articles.

They told me I could have the job if I wanted but advised me not to take it!