A man who just died is delivered to a Glasgow mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

Big Tam the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in navy.

She gives Tam a blank cheque and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a navy suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day.

To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous navy suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to Tam, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful.

How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, Tam presents her with the blank cheque.

'No charge,' he says.

'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite navy suit!' she says.

'Honestly, hen,' Tam says, 'it didn't cost anything!

You see, a dead gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive navy suit.

I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit insteed, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So, I just switched their heids.'


Über Member
LOL :biggrin::laugh::ohmy:


Legendary Member
Talking of which....

A woman shouts at her husband when he starts pushing the wrong baby, 'Hey, that's not our baby!' 'Shut up,' he says, 'this pram's better.'
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