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Joke

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by john59, 26 Jan 2008.

  1. john59

    john59 Guru

    Location:
    Wirral
    In the beginning God covered the earth with
    broccoli, cauliflower and
    spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and
    Woman would live long and healthy lives.

    Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and
    Magnums.

    And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that?

    And Man said "Yes!"

    And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips".

    And so they gained 10 pounds.

    And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure
    that Man found so fair.

    And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the
    cane and combined them.

    And Woman went from size 12 to size 14.

    So God said "Try my fresh green salad".

    And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the
    side.

    And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

    God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in
    which to cook them".

    And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped
    lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own
    platter.

    And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

    Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming
    with potassium and good nutrition.

    Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre
    into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities
    of salt.

    And Man put on more pounds.

    God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose
    those extra pounds.

    And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would
    not have to toil changing the channels.
    And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and
    started wearing stretch jogging suits.

    Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and
    still satisfy his appetite.

    And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.

    Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And
    extra large size please".

    And Satan said "It is good."

    And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

    God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

    And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service - where
    you have to wait years for your turn to get free surgery.

    THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

    After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final
    word on nutrition and health:
    1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

    3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks
    than us.

    4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart
    attacks than us.

    5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
    fewer heart attacks than us.

    CONCLUSION:

    Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills
    you.
     
  2. :ohmy::biggrin:
    Very good. I especially like the last bit.
     
  3. Pete

    Pete Guest

    :angry::biggrin: Sadly, some truth in there!
     
  4. Noodley

    Noodley Guest

    I dinnae ken whit yer spikkin aboot.
     
  5. Keith Oates

    Keith Oates Janner

    He's saying that...............................oh, you're just kidding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!