Just recieved this,thought id post it.:tongue:

Don't eat chicken sandwiches, no matter what.....

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both
Brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth
Grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.
He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?'
She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'

'Why?' he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'
'Let me see' he said.
'Okay' and she pulled up her skirt.
He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said
To the little gir l, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers
Down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her!

She said

'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIBBLETS!!!


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Senior Member


A lady goes to the doctor and complains her husband is losing
interest in sex.

He gives her a pill but warns her that it's still experimental.
He tells her to slip it in his mashed potatoes at dinner. At
dinner that night, she does just that.

About a week later she's back at the doctor and tells him, "The
pill worked great! I put it in his mashed potatoes like you said.
It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, pushed all the
food and dishes to the floor, grabbed me, ripped off all my
clothes and ravaged me right there on the table."

The doctor says, "Oh dear -- I'm sorry, we didn't realize the pill
was that strong. The foundation will be glad to pay for any

The lady replied, "That's very kind - but I don't think the
restaurant will let us back in anyway."


Senior Member
A man and his wife were getting ready for bed. The wife is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, and my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."

She turns to him and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

He studies hard for a moment thinking about it and then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well, there's nothing wrong with your eyesight." :smile:
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