Kids are little S####

[steve52]

we are an animal, so its sad that we try to teach em not to fight , both pyisical and mentaly, we do it all our live for dominance at work on the sports field or arena, i dont know what the answer is but fighting back win or lose helps selfesteam, ps i dont condone violence this is just an observation

 

[Crankarm]

Glad you've got what seems to be action and fossy jnr will immediately be happier. I'm sure you'll be on the school's case. But if it continues and fossy jnr is a reserved quiet kid he may well keep it to himself as bullies can up the stakes substantially and he'll be worried about causing any more issues unless you explicitly express to him he's to tell you or Mrs Fossyant if anything or anyone ever does anything like this again to him. Don't want to worry you unduly but with the threat of violence vulnerable kids keep quiet. I did.

However if at 9 years old the "bullying" kid has burst into tears when being confronted with his conduct, this might be the end of it hopefully.

 

[fossyant]

I'm listening to the news about the Edlington kids, and thinking you're right there. Letting stuff go can lead to some seriously f***** up kids and then adults. Some parents don't deserve to have kids, just to ruin them, and by extension, the lives of others...

Quite right - you hear all sorts of stories. Something's not ticking right in the kids head/life.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the Chinese!

We did - just me and Mr Man had Chinese, wife and daughter fancied chips .

Too much left over, so have lunch sorted tomorrow.

 

[fossyant]

Glad you've got what seems to be action and fossy jnr will immediately be happier. I'm sure you'll be on the school's case. But if it continues and fossy jnr is a reserved quiet kid he may well keep it to himself as bullies can up the stakes substantially and he'll be worried about causing any more issues unless you explicitly express to him he's to tell you or Mrs Fossyant if anything or anyone ever does anything like this again to him. Don't want to worry you unduly but with the threat of violence vulnerable kids keep quiet. I did.

However if at 9 years old the "bullying" kid has burst into tears when being confronted with his conduct, this might be the end of it hopefully.

Not expecting this to be the end, but hopefully the start of the process. I'll be back in if it doesn't improve.

 

[snakehips]

Anyway, good result so far, let's see what happens in the next few weeks - my son knows to speak to us and the Head.

Great to hear that.

Snake

My Library

 

[summerdays]

Sounds really good. You couldn't really have got much more - just keep an eye on it. How did it come to light anyway... if he just told you that's good. If you had to winkle it out of him then watch out for similar patterns in his behaviour.

 

[Arch]

Quite right - you hear all sorts of stories. Something's not ticking right in the kids head/life.

Sounds like with his Dad, he's not had a great start. I think some responsibility has to be taken by the kid, at 9 he ought to know what's nice and not nice behaviour - but if all he ever gets at home is abuse or indifference, how's he going to learn what's nice or not? We've all seen those parents screaming at kids in the street because they don't have the wit to parent properly, no wonder the kids grow up defensive and eventually aggressive in their own turn.

We did - just me and Mr Man had Chinese, wife and daughter fancied chips .

Too much left over, so have lunch sorted tomorrow.

Excellent, if there's one thing better than Chinese takeaway, it's having some leftover for the next day!

 

[fossyant]

Sounds really good. You couldn't really have got much more - just keep an eye on it. How did it come to light anyway... if he just told you that's good. If you had to winkle it out of him then watch out for similar patterns in his behaviour.

He told us fortunately, then we heard more from his best mates mum - his mate had done the 'mum you know we can always tell you something' so hats off to both kids. My son knows he can tell us, it's obviously been an issue for a few weeks, but has go worse so he's told us.

Fortunately I didn't tell him my method of dealing with bullies...... smack em back harder..... only get's you in the poop.

 

[fossyant]

Well, it's kicked off again last week.....

Same kid (aged 9), during lunch, thretened two other kids (I'll get you suspended etc). Got the two other lads to pin my son down, whilst said 'offender' thretened to punch my lad. One lad then backed off, but the other two picked my son up by his arms and legs and dropped him deliberately on his head and back. - Son visibly hurt and still sort in the evening.

You can rightly see why we were not ammused. Fired off email Thursday night, wife straight in on Friday.

The two lads who were 'forced' into this violence got a right grilling from their own parents (my wife is friendly with their mums) and it's obvious both were 'forced' into this and both have relayed that my son was being 'picked on again' - The main offender even said 'lets teach him who is boss'.

Anyway, said 'thug' had to write a letter of apology and lost his lunch break - that's it....just like last time.

Something is wrong with the school here, as a femail friend of my son had mentioned it to her mum a couple of weeks earlier that my son was getting 'picked on again'.

The other two lads are clearly sorry, and they have been dealt with by their parents.

Off back into school first thing tomorrow, and really hope I can be constructive as the Head will just go on the defensive otherwise, but I am fuming.

Time to demand that this other child is seen by the correct professionals and find out what is really going on in his life.

I have still resisted telling my son, who is Blue/Purple belt in Karate, to land one very well aimed punch on the kids nose.....should he do it again.

The school is useless.

 

[e-rider]

Well, it's kicked off again last week.....

Same kid (aged 9), during lunch, thretened two other kids (I'll get you suspended etc). Got the two other lads to pin my son down, whilst said 'offender' thretened to punch my lad. One lad then backed off, but the other two picked my son up by his arms and legs and dropped him deliberately on his head and back. - Son visibly hurt and still sort in the evening.

You can rightly see why we were not ammused. Fired off email Thursday night, wife straight in on Friday.

The two lads who were 'forced' into this violence got a right grilling from their own parents (my wife is friendly with their mums) and it's obvious both were 'forced' into this and both have relayed that my son was being 'picked on again' - The main offender even said 'lets teach him who is boss'.

Anyway, said 'thug' had to write a letter of apology and lost his lunch break - that's it....just like last time.

Something is wrong with the school here, as a femail friend of my son had mentioned it to her mum a couple of weeks earlier that my son was getting 'picked on again'.

The other two lads are clearly sorry, and they have been dealt with by their parents.

Off back into school first thing tomorrow, and really hope I can be constructive as the Head will just go on the defensive otherwise, but I am fuming.

Time to demand that this other child is seen by the correct professionals and find out what is really going on in his life.

I have still resisted telling my son, who is Blue/Purple belt in Karate, to land one very well aimed punch on the kids nose.....should he do it again.

The school is useless.

If your son has a good chance of coming out on top it might be a quick and permanent solution to the problem. However, it might just make it a whole lot worse.

 

[Crankarm]

Say to the useless Head teacher that if he doesn't sort the problem properly and once and for all you will need to find some one who will. He has been on notice since he was made aware of the issue. The school owes your kid a duty of care to make sure he is safe. They are clearly failing.

 

[fossyant]

Sorry, haven't read through the rest of this thread, but have you approached the Governors?

This is appalling and you should have a far better response.

My wife is phoning one of them tonight - a number of parents have said 'oh not the same old brush it under the carpet'...

 

[guitarpete247]

Too many heads don't want to take serious action as it admits that they have a problem. This has to go to the governors and further to the education authority.
If this pupil is still getting away with it when he gets to the end of his Primary school career he will carry it on at Secondary. He probably is also a problem out in the community.
I read Arch mention the Edlington 2. They were moved from where they lived and terrorised the community. They continued to do this in the new community. It takes a lot to unlearn behaviour that is allowed to develop when young. It has to be stopped. Ed Psych needs to be involved. Parenting skills for his family need to be looked at. Bully needs to be re-educated over his behaviour or he will become a damaged individual who will continue to damage others in his path.

 

[Over The Hill]

I would go nuclear with the head and aim to get the bully expelled.

Let the head know that you will be writing to the education authority (and whoever else he answers to) the local paper and the school governers etc if they do not now ensure that the bullying stops permenantly from now.

They have had four years and that is far too long to firstly not recognise the problem and secondly not sort it out.

Our kids school has a bullying monitor and I think a department head assigned to police it. May be worth copying them in too.

 

[mark barker]

I would go nuclear with the head and aim to get the bully expelled.

TBH that rarely helps, and could make the offender worse... If he gets excluded from the school then there are two options available, attend another school (just moving the problem, not fixing it), or home education (and its fair to assume that some of the issues come from the home to start with, so things could get worse). Its rare to find a bully that bullies for the fun of it, there is normally a more deep seated root for the behaviour, and this needs to be discovered and sorted.